Bobbie's Babbles

#113 Candy Corn - How I Love Thee

2010-09-29T19:33:00.007-04:00

Note to Reader: This babble was posted originally in 2008 and again last year around Halloween. Nothing has changed....it's September 26th and I've already gotten into the candy corn [6 days later than last year]. And, once again I'm blaming my daughter... she brought it into the house!

Every year around this time I do something terrible. I buy candy corn. I know you're thinking how terrible can that be? Well, I just don't buy candy corn, I crave it. And once I start eating it, it's very hard to stop. Sometimes, before I even know it, I've popped 10 sweet kernels into my mouth, and as the 11th goes in, I begin to get the shakes and feel nauseous. It's usually when I'm feeling this way that I question my sanity [Aren't there better things to crave?]. What's amazing though, is that once Halloween is over, I can pass candy corn in any venue and have absolutely no desire for it. I mean zilch. If offered to me, I can very easily say - no thank you.

This year, however, things started out a tiny bit differently than previous years. This year I started buying my candy drug in September. I usually wait till at least the first week in October, but for some reason [I'll guess an emotional one] I allowed myself a small bag of Brach's candy corn. On the 4th day, when that last kernel was eaten, I contemplated the possibility that I had gotten them out of my system early.

NOT! About a week later, I arrived home to find a package from UPS on my porch. I opened it and there inside was a small bag of candy corn. Sooooo sweet!!! Not the corn, but my 12 year old daughter. Being the understanding, wonderful and nurturing person she is, she sent me a care package. To make a long story short, I OD'd on them the second day and had to head upstairs for a sugar-induced nap. During my afternoon siesta, my husband told my daughter to go hide the candy corn and to dole it out sparingly... and only if I begged. Humph!! I don't know at whom I'm angrier? My daughter for buying it, my husband for hiding it, or me for my lack of control over it.

Fortuitously [or not], I found the stash of candy corn. As I was sitting at my desk this afternoon answering emails and munching on my drug of choice, I dropped a few. Iggy, our adopted dog, knows that when something drops he has to wait for permission to eat it otherwise he would be eating buttons, staples, you name it. Well, you'll never believe what happened. The minute Iggy saw what had fallen, he lunged for those 3 yellow, orange and white tipped sweeties. I swear, we had a fist to paw fight over them.

As I sat there staring at my dog and three lost candy corn, it came to me in a flash: Oh my G-d, Iggy's previous owners had turned him into a candy corn addict!!! I smiled... it's nice to have a junkie buddy.

Quote of the Day: "The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too stong to be broken" Samuel Johnson

#112 Is My Body a Toxic Dump?

2010-09-14T11:44:00.021-04:00

I'm not the most "green" person you'll meet... by a long shot. I hate to admit it, but the majority of my cleaning and grooming products are chemicals, and not of the organic variety. I do recycle as much as possible and carry my own bags to the grocer... when I remember. Recently, however, I read a blog about beauty products and the possibility that they can make you fat. I know!! I said I was going to write about things other than fat, fitness, forties, etc, but this caught my attention - for a number of reasons. Plus, it inspired to me to write.

Why did this catch my attention? First of all, I have a fourteen year old daughter. Said daughter likes to wear a little bit of make-up. Said daughter is also crazy about theater and performs in many plays and musicals. This means she must wear a lot of stage make-up. This also means she must remove that make-up. (As Tracey Turnblat in Hairspray wearing a wig, fat suit and of course, stage make-up)

The blog I refer to here explains that the chemicals in these beauty products are parabens. These parabens get into your bloodstream and play havoc with your hormones. Guess what? My endocrine system is a bit screwy - I have Hashimotos Thyroiditis, or Hypothyroidism. Ironically, I never wore make-up until my 20s, but over the years before and since, I can share with you that I have washed, conditioned, colored and permed my hair, used perfumes, moisturizers, sunblocks and a lot of concealer. I'm not blaming any of these products for my condition, but perhaps I was pre-disposed to an endocrine problem and the chemicals in these products just helped it come out of hiding.

Anyway, I took the paragraphs from the blog post with the most salient issues and have shown them below in blue. If you are interested in reading the whole blog, you can go to http://www.toxicbeautyblog.com/.

There were 300 million obese individuals worldwide in 2000….which increased another 100 million by 2005….alarming stats! Who leads the obesity race? It’s us, ladies! More women than men are obese. Women also use more than 5 times the beauty products men do (some even more.) A coincidence? While obesity is a growing global epidemic, toxic poisoning is also on the rise. How did it become a planet wide problem?

Companies use synthetic chemicals in their products. These can affect the user. They also affect the non-user. The waste products have to go somewhere…so they empty into land and water. This contamination affects everyone, not just the person using the product! These chemicals are called parabens. They are found in many products from shampoos to hair color and can even be found in natural and organic brands!) Parabens are hormone disruptors which mimic or block human hormones. They get into the blood when you use them on your skin and affect the endocrine system, which controls every function of the body (including weight control…beginning to see the connection?) When you use a body lotion or fragrance, the parabens enter your body, confusing your own hormones, causing them to malfunction. These endocrine disruptors are stored in fatty tissue and are not flushed….accumulating over time. Could this be one reason why you can’t seem to lose weight?

Parabens, Parabens, Everywhere

So how can you reduce your risk of paraben-related illness? Well, one way is to discontinue using all products containing any form of paraben: methyparaben, propylparaben, and butylparaben. There are a plethora of organic brands which don’t contain these and still give you the same (if not better) performance [Aubrey Organics, 100% Pure, and Real Purity]. Another method is to make your own cosmetics. There are many recipes you can find easily online and on beauty blogs. Some of the easiest recipes include only one ingredient! Since I have been on my new detox diet, I have rediscovered the beauty of organic cold pressed coconut oil. It’s so versatile I can use it on my face, body, hair and even take it internally for the metabolic boosting benefit [hence fat burning!).

PS. This is the bag I carried all summer. It was made from black and white garbage bags and a red take-out bag from a restaurant in China Town. The artist crochets these bags into whatever shape and size you want. By the way, she washes the bags, so these are truly recycled goods. I'm singing her praises because these bags can be custom made for you, are cost friendly, fashionable and "green". If you are interested in having one made, email or send me a comment requesting her information and I will give you her email address.

Quote of the Day: "It's the friends we meet along life's path who help us appreciate the journey" author unknown

#111 I'm Plum Babbled Out

2010-09-09T21:36:00.014-04:00

Lately, I have felt babbled out. I have ideas, but when I sit down at the computer, I'm uninspired. Originally, as many of you know, I started writing my babbles as emails to a group of women I met with weekly. What I had discovered was some of them would fall off track [either with their diet or a project] and would come to the meeting either unprepared or with a weight gain. The emails were sent in the middle of the week to try to keep them focused and positive. Of course, the emails also helped me to stay focused and inspired me to eat healthy and exercise. I also started sharing the emails with some family members and friends who were also trying to lose "a couple of pounds". And so, the blog - Bobbiesbabbles - was born.

Over time, I started writing about other topics besides weight - like my aging body, my relationships, my husband, articles I read, exercising, recipes, and so on. My sister, who helped me design the blog, wrote a little blurb about me [can be read in the right margin of the blog site] which I've tried to keep in mind when developing a blog post. She wrote, "....As with other mentors who have provided support and direction to Bobbie, may her reflections and thoughts on the frustrating world of weight management provide motivation, laughter and insight for those of you young at heart, but aging in body". With those words in mind, I wrote my blog. However, I think it's time for a change.

CHANGE being the operative word here because I've changed. Controlling my weight and physique, although still very important to me, are not as obsessively and compulsively as important. I've figured out how to eat and exercise to maintain my present weight and if wanted, how to lose a couple of pounds. I guess at 48 years and 6 months, something finally clicked, or perhaps I just don't care that much anymore. I'm not saying that I'll ever be "normal" when it comes to food, body image and liking myself in photographs, but I'm calmer about it all. When I joined Trevose Behavior Modification http://www.tbmp.org/ 11 years ago, I walked into the meeting thinking and hoping that this "eating program" would be "the answer". Instead, I saw a woman who looked to be about eighty years old waiting for the meeting to begin. I turned to my friend joining with me and said, "shit, does it never end?". Well, Trevose was definitely the answer in helping me lose and maintain my 25 pound weight loss, and it still is the answer. I continue to go to a meeting at least 3 times a month to keep my head in the game.

And so, I will continue to write my babbles, but I'm not sure that they will always be about body image [photo: does my ass look fat?], food, diets, etc. I'm not overly political or religious, so you don't have to worry about some rant on the newest piece of trash written about some senator or my take on the Bible.

I also want to thank all of you for reading and commenting on my blog, and especially to those who have contacted me to ask, "where are you?", or to let me know, "I think I got kicked off your distribution list because I'm no longer getting your babbles".

I'll be babbling soon....

Quote of the day: "We think in generalities, but we live in details"
Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947), mathematician and philosopher

Vacation Time

2010-08-12T13:35:00.003-04:00

I'm taking a short vacation from blogging.... will be back in September. Enjoy the rest of your summer [or winter for those dealing with that season right now]. See you soon... Bobbie

Calcium: The Craziness Begins

2010-08-04T12:18:00.006-04:00

Below is a blog www.refusetoregain.com by Dr. Barbara Berkeley. I read her posts, agree with most that she has to say, and have come to trust and respect her judgement on weight, food, drugs, and other issues that she writes about. I believe this blog is very important. I'm not saying that you must follow what she says. However, what she says may make you re-think your use of supplements, and may also lead you to discuss your own use of supplements with your doctor.

Calcium: The Craziness Begins
by Barbara Berkeley, MD

Have you ever felt like making the right dietary choices was more like crossing a minefield? One day you are strolling along, sure that you are on the path to righteous wellness. Then BAM! the landscape changes and you find that you are in mortal danger. This week, an announcement that villainized calcium supplements was just such a land mine. Millions of women take these supplements. They've been sacrosanct. For doctors, recommending calcium pills seemed like a no brainer and most were happy to give such easy, and seemingly important instruction.

But a few days ago, the British Medical Journal announced that healthy older women who take calcium supplements appear to have as much as a 30% greater chance of suffering a heart attack than those who do not. This conclusion was based on a review of 12,000 women and was consistent regardless of the type of supplement used. In the wake of this news, TV health pundits were already distancing themselves from calcium pills. (CBS News Video )

Once again, real food proved the winner. Women who got calcium by diet alone had no such risk. For almost any nutrient you can name, food sources provide the safest means of consumption. As most of you regular readers know, I don't think much of supplements. In fact, I stopped taking calcium long ago. For years, that has been my guilty secret. All of a sudden I'm looking like a clairvoyant.

One would think that the big news here is the danger of calcium pills (it’s hypothesized that they may accelerate hardening of the arteries). But in fact, there are two other elements that are well worth examining. The first is the conclusion of this and other studies that taking calcium supplements doesn't prevent osteoporosis (why were we all taking the blasted things then???). The second is the fallout that will occur as a result of this, the latest nutritional bombshell.

The editorial that accompanies the British Medical Journal study said:

"Calcium supplements, given alone, improve bone mineral density, but they are ineffective in reducing the risk of fractures and might even increase risk, they might increase the risk of cardiovascular events, and they do not reduce mortality. They seem to be unnecessary in adults with an adequate diet. Given the uncertain benefits of calcium supplements, any level of risk is unwarranted."

Once again, the news that stuns here is that calcium pills never did reduce fracture risk. Undoubtedly, we would have continued to pour endless dollars into these supplements (just as we do into taking all sorts of fancy, unproven vitamin supplements) had this particular study not gotten big media play.

But in fact, the biggest story in the calcium saga may yet be unwritten and may come from the whiplash that occurs as a result of our rush to get calcium from something other than a pill. Because we change our diets based on the daily proclamations of science, our eating habits are as fickle as a passel of runaway brides. One change often ripples out to create a host of others. Remember this one? In the 1990's various researchers declared that fat was the enemy. The result? An entire country loaded up on fat free products. In our headlong rush to avoid fat, we vastly increased consumption of carbohydrates and sugars. We soon became increasingly more obese and diabetic. Read some Frontline interviews on the Fat Free Years.

We are only a few days into the calcium story, but already we are being advised to get more calcium via foods. That seems like great advice, but the type of food is not being examined much. Nor is the fact that many of the countries with the world's highest rates of osteoporosis have the highest calcium intakes. No doubt, cartons of milk, chunks of cheese and anything made with soy will soon sport attractive labels that remind us that these foods contain calcium. Will we stop and think about rushing to increase our consumption of these foods? I doubt it. Most people (and I include health professionals) believe that all we need to do is plug the latest hole, in this case calcium. The fat free experiment should have taught us something, but I guarantee....it hasn't.

We will probably start running to soy (many soy products are fortified with calcium) and dairy for our calcium.

Fortified soy milks and cheeses have been promoted as healthy alternatives for those who can't tolerate milk, or just because. Very few people would consider the Harvard School of Public Health a fringe organization but their view of soy is cautious. It appears that soy is not the miracle food it purports to be. Studies do not support soy's ability to lower bad cholesterol meaningfully, nor to stop hot flashes or menopausal symptoms. And the phytoestrogens in soy have unknown effect. Several studies even suggest that soy may stimulate the growth of breast cancer cells. Harvard Nutrition Source: Soy.
Similarly, you may surprised to read what Harvard has to say about dairy:

"Look beyond the dairy aisle. Limit milk and dairy foods to no more than one to two servings per day. More won’t necessarily do your bones any good—and less is fine, as long as you get enough calcium from other sources...While calcium and dairy can lower the risk of osteoporosis and colon cancer, high intake can increase the risk of prostate cancer and possibly ovarian cancer."

Let’s think a bit before we rush to make big changes.

An interesting dietary conundrum is the fact that many of the countries with the highest dairy consumption (the Scandanavian countries and the US for example) have some of the world’s highest rates of osteoporosis.

Researchers who believe in ancient eating styles point out that diets which are high in dairy (not ancient), cereal grains (not ancient) and meat, tend to present high acid loads to the blood. Fruits and vegetables are more alkaline when digested. When things get too acidic, the body needs to release an alkaline substance to neutralize the problem. If it is not readily available in the food we eat, calcium is the buffer that calms the acid load. With chronic consumption of an acidic diet, the theory goes, there is chronic release of calcium from the bones leading to osteoporosis.

Once again, the Primarian, ancient or Paleo diet avoids the problem. This seems to be the case with each new diet "discovery". That’s no surprise if you believe, as I do, that the only thing we are "discovering" is how to eat as humans always did. Somehow, though, that’s never the conclusion we reach. Instead, we run to make a big correction. In doing so, we tilt our diets like sailboats whose masts are listing in the wind. Not a good idea when diets and health are all about balance.

An ancient diet is primarily composed of fruits, vegetables, nuts, berries, lean meats, poultry, fish, seafood and eggs. Lean toward the plant matter and add high quality animal protein. When possible, the animals we eat should be fed a diet that is composed of their own natural foods (in other words, grass fed rather than grain fed). Grain is not a part of ancient diet, nor are legumes like soy because there was no original genetic exposure to these foods. While I include low fat dairy in my Primarian diet (for the sake of making it more palatable to modern eaters), I suggest sparing use. Animal milk is a new food for most humans and many have a problem with it, including lactose intolerance—a condition that effects the majority of the world’s population.

In our modern world, a good diet may be defined as a diet that manages to survive every challenge issued by scientific "discovery". In the past 7 years or so since I became primarily Primarian, I haven’t had a moment of diet fickleness. Nothing has made me rush to change my plan because each new diet finding has neatly aligned with exactly what I’m eating. Low salt, high potassium, more omega three, less saturated fats, more fish, fewer pills...less visits to the doctor.

I've got it covered.

#109 Apples and Pears

2010-07-27T08:37:00.010-04:00

Ok, now I'm really confused. For years I've read and been told that having a pear-shaped figure was better than having an apple-shaped one. I became nicer and more accepting of my wider lower body knowing that because of pear shape, I had a better chance of not having a cardiovascular incident -- known as a heart attack in the non-medical environment. Better to have your weight below the belt then around the middle, I've been led to believe.

Well, maybe not! I read an article in today's Philadelphia Inquirer that sites a study out of Northwestern University telling us that having a pear-shaped figure is bad for your brain. The article said that us pear-shaped females [who used to be oh so very cocky about our fruit tree] "experienced greater cognitive decline compared with apple-shaped women". The study reviewed almost 9000 medical records for women between the ages of 65-79. What they found was, "that for every additional point of BMI [body mass index], a woman's memory score on the Modified Mini-Mental Status Examination fell by a point". Oy vey!! Not only do our memories decline from just getting older, but newly discovered, if you're pear-shaped AND obese [per your BMI score], your memory and cognitive abilities worsen....

Alrighty, now for the good news!! In yesterday's AOL Health News, I read that we can actually make ourselves smarter by making sure we eat these three things: wine, chocolate and tea. Luckily for me, I like all three... and in the order that they are considered best for increasing smartness. Amazingly, wine delivers the biggest boost. Sadly, I've begun to taper my wine drinking due to my cankle swelling. It seems that wine [both red and white, sadly] goes straight to my ankles.

Here is what AOL posted about these three wonderful indulgences:

"...And although consuming each food or drink separately helped improve memory, volunteers who regularly enjoyed all three had the keenest wits of all. But you don't have to own a wine cellar or buy stock in Hershey's to reap rewards. A little went a long way in the study. Volunteers with the sharpest wits downed as little as 1/3 ounce of chocolate, 3 ounces of wine, or 7 ounces of tea daily. Researchers credit the high-flavonoid content of these three indulgences with fighting inflammation, protecting against free-radical assaults, and enhancing communication between brain cells."

What more can I say?? I've been so proud of my pear-shaped physique... for which I can thank my genetics and my love of chocolate and wine. Since my body shape is not going to change as I get older [I mean change into an apple], I'll have to work on my smarts!! From now on, when I drink my wine and eat my chocolate, I will no longer care about my swollen cankles or my ever-expanding derriere. As the years move on, my ability to remember will amaze the younger generation, and I will become the crossword puzzle and sudoku aficionado of our family. I will never have to ask my son or daughter, "Now, where were we?" or "What did I just say?". On the other hand, as long as my husband is cognizant, sadly, I think he'll notice the physical changes more than the mental ones!

Quote of the Day: "It is sad to grow old, but nice to ripen" Brigitte Bardot

Intake of flavonoid-rich wine, tea, and chocolate by elderly men and women is associated with better cognitive test performance. Nurk, E. et al., Journal of Nutrition 2009 Jan;139(1):120-127.

#108 You're Never too Old to Move Like You're Young

2010-07-14T19:27:00.015-04:00

I'm in love. Yep. With Zumba. Zumba isn't a he, or a she for that matter. Zumba is a one-hour exercise dance class that incorporates Latin rhythms. The music goes from fast to slower and back to fast again, but never slow enough to let your heart rest too long. The teacher incorporates resistance training and body sculpting while your body burns calories. During one class, my instructor wore a pedometer and calorie counter. After class, we all went up to read the calorie counter; she had burned 700 calories. Honest engine! I leave the class dripping sweat and exhausted, but feeling great! Watch this video... it's almost as much fun as actually taking the class.

Zumba is a lot about the hips and butt moving, swaying, gyrating.... well you get the picture. When I first started taking Zumba, my hips just didn't want to listen to my brain. This disconnect between my hips and head was frustrating. However, it did make me understand [better] my husband's responses to some of those yoga moves I would try to have him do -- he would groan and say, "my back just doesn't move like that!".

I took my 14 year old daughter to a Zumba class with me a couple of months ago. We had a ball, but truthfully, I was a little self conscious. Some of the moves, well, a daughter just shouldn't see her mother's hips move like that. Many of the moves are "youthful", and when I see myself trying to do them in the mirror, I realize how old I am. It's just that grinding your hips front and back while throwing your chest out and arms back aren't dance moves that I did as a younger person. I'm very comfortable doing "oldies moves" like the Charleston and the Twist, but these newer gyrations make me blush. My daughter, not knowing the moves that I had been learning over the previous months said jokingly [sort of] during class, "Mom, I don't think you should be doing that in public".

What's great, though, is that I've found an exercise regime that I love, and one that I also look forward to doing. Unlike weight training, in which I always felt great after the hour workout, I didn't always love doing it. With Zumba, I look forward to each class. I even went onto http://www.zumba.com/, put in my zip code, and found all the classes being taught within a 5 mile radius of my house. I haven't met a teacher or a class yet that I haven't liked.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that you're never too old to move like you're young. Enjoy the video below. I think she would be an asset in my Zumba class.

Quote of the Day: "Love is doing small things with great love." Mother Teresa

#107 Frog Kisser

2010-07-01T19:16:00.013-04:00

I don't know about you, but I kissed a lot of frogs before I found my prince. Looking back, I can see that I kept going after the same frog over and over. I wanted the "rocker" frog, the "cowboy" frog, the exciting, "you-never-know-what's-going-to-happen" kind of frog, and of course the frog that stood out at the pond. However, I also wanted the nice, kind, sensitive frog, but he had to have machismo, and a deep ribbet. Additionally, having read at least 1000 gothic novels during my tween and teen years, I had designed my perfect prince. The problem: My ideal and perfect prince just didn't seem to be able to translate well into real life.

At 28, I was still dating, and honestly, beginning to feel like an old maid. I was worried. I wanted to be a young and hip mother [my mom and I are 22 years apart], but I was beginning to realize that I was going to be at least 30 years apart from my first child, and that was only if I found my prince fairly quickly and got down to business.

Well, along came Marc. He really wasn't the frog I was looking for... no siree, but he kept at me. I guess he was a real bullfrog. Anyway, as we began to date and got to know each other, I realized that he had many of the qualities of my "gothic novel" prince. In addition, I also awoke to a new reality. For most of my dating years, I had been so busy shunning the wrong "package" that I had done myself a disservice.

I was watching the Bachelorette about a year ago and realized that they were doing it all wrong. Using the bachelorette's specifications, the producers and [I guess] their assistants looked through photos and resumes and "collected" hundreds of guys. Then, they had the bachelorette review the collection and narrow the list down to about 100. After this was done, I think she got to meet or talk with those 100, and then once again, she narrowed it down to the prospects that we finally got to see on the show. Well, had I been the bachelorette, just on the physical markers I gave the producers, Marc would never have even made the first cut. Why? Because I would have told those TV people to find me men with dark hair, swarthy complexions, and a height of at least 5'11". Marc is blond, has a light skinned complexion with blue eyes and is 5'7".You get the picture, right?

Recently, someone asked me, "If I could go back in time, what would I tell the young me?". Well, A LOT of stuff, but in this case, I would tell me to read better literature and throw those gothic novels out the window. On a more serious note, I would tell me that one of the most important things a person can do is to be open -- to keep their options open -- in everything. To not be afraid and/or make decisions based on those fears. To think things through, that being impulsive can be fun and exciting, but if mistakes are made, learn from them and don't make the same ones over and over. And last, I would tell me that a person can find a prince when and where she least expects. So, kiss lots of frogs -- of all shapes and sizes and colors.

In honor of Wimbledon --

Quote of the day: "What makes something special is not just what you have to gain, but what you feel there is to lose" Andre Agassi

#106 Yesterday and Today

2010-06-22T07:14:00.013-04:00

My brother sent me a response to the question at the end of Babble #104, "No Tattoos Allowed". The question I posed was, "How do you feel about tattoos and piercings?" His response [photo - baby bro and me, 2010]:

"Maybe the question below, since it's on your blog, can ask the question ... by expanding the waist line and putting on the pounds, are we defacing the body? It seems that any generation, other than our parent's generation, don't place a negative, or as negative, a stigma on tattoos and piercings ... have we become just as tolerant of gaining weight? Obesity? Can we put "how our bodies look" in the same category as "tattoos" and "body piercing". Why or why not?

Hmmm.... Well, if tattooing and piercings are being added to your body, then added weight could be put into that same category. And, if tattooing and piercings make people look at you differently and/or potentially make people treat you differently, then added weight could also be put into that same category.

On the other hand, I'm assuming that most people make the choice to get tattooed and/or pierced. Most people don't choose to gain weight. Also, when you get a tattoo or a piercing, someone else is doing this to you. The majority of people who are 20+ pounds overweight did not choose to do this, and unlike the tattooing and piercing, they did it to themselves.

Tattooing and piercings are statements. A tattoo is chosen to represent a time, a feeling, a love, an occurrence. A tattoo is a decoration, something to make you more distinctive, perhaps to make you stand out or make you feel powerful. A piercing would probably also fall into this category. A friend of mine and her good friend both got belly button rings for their 40th birthdays. A blogger I follow just got a nose piercing at the age of 42. These were all "active" decisions made by those people. A person who actively eats foods that cause them to gain weight is not really actively making this decision. They are actively choosing those foods, but it's almost as if they are the passive recipients. Almost as if they are "out of control" and can't make a decision. From what I believe, most people don't really want to memorialize a birthday or time in their life with a gift to themselves of 20, 30, 40 or 50 pounds. Also, I don't believe "saddle bags" or a "basketball belly" would be considered "body decoration".

Additionally, a tattoo or piercing can make a person feel better, prouder, stronger and attractive. Added weight usually makes a person feel bad, insecure, weak and unattractive.

I recently read that if you went to a county fair in the 1950's and saw the "fat lady", you would be seeing a woman who topped the scale at 300 pounds. Today, the "fat lady" nears 800 pounds. Back in the 50's, face and body piercings were not that commonplace. Neither were tattoos, although men in the military wore them as badges of masculinity.

So, has obesity become as accepted as other additions to the body? Let me pose these questions with my answers from today and the 1950's ...

1. If you are sitting in the coach section of a commercial airplane, would you rather sit next to an obese person, a person with multiple piercings or a person with 50% of his/her body covered in tattoos? [just in case you ask, none of them have body odor, bad breath, lice, scabies, dandruff, etc.]

2. Three weeks into the new school year, you go to a program at your child's school and meet her third grade teacher. You see that she has earrings in her eyebrow, lip and nose. This surprises you because your child never mentioned this. Then you realize that to your child, this may be "normal". How does that make you feel?

3. Since we are a society that shares the cost of healthcare, do you think that the cost of obesity and its medical problems outweigh the potential problems [infection/tearing] that may come with getting tattooed or pierced?

My answers:

1. I would rather sit next to the tattooed person. The obese person could potentially overlap their seat into my space, and the pierced person could potentially catch one of her/his piercings and bleed on me. 1950: the obese person

2. I would probably be a little shocked, but would get over it as quickly as if she had green hair or black fingernail polish. 1950: I would make a complaint to the school and have my child transferred to another teacher or another school.

3. Yes. Healthcare costs are skyrocketing. The medical problems and diseases that come with obesity [diabetes, heart disease, circulatory problems, joint problems] are long-term chronic problems. To keep the cost of health insurance down, employers should be motivated to establish programs to help [not punish] their overweight employees lose and maintain a healthy weight. More restaurants and more states should mandate that nutritional information be shown so that the client can make informed decisions. Also, healthy and satisfying alternatives to the high fat, high calorie foods should also be made available. Schools should serve healthy food, get rid of soda machines, make exercise/gym classes fun and mandatory, and establish programs in primary schools to teach kids about health, wellness, eating well and exercising. The cost of getting an infection from a tattoo or piercing doesn't come close to the cost of obesity. 1950: I don't know what you are talking about.

Quote of the day: "I want to show the world that disability does not mean inability" Prudence Mabhena, singer from Zimbabwe [Born with Arthrogryposis, double leg amputee, abandoned by and abused by her family because of her disability, today - most famous person in Zimbabwe]

#105 Making Muscle

2010-06-11T08:46:00.023-04:00

I was at the chiropractor the other day because of a pulled hamstring. The area of pain is behind my left thigh. To be exact, it's where my thigh meets my butt. As the doctor massaged and then worked his elbow deep in there, I say to him, "I swear, there is muscle under all that nonsense". He and I laugh, but it's not really funny.

Over the past ten years or so, my usual lament is, "it's not that I really want to be thinner (well...), it's just that I want to be firmer". Besides the loss of firmness that comes with age, I believe the real reason I have more jigglies than others is because of the way I "starved dieted" during high school and college. Dinner was usually my only meal. At home, it was a healthy meal, but once in college, if memory serves me, it was far from healthy. Knowing what I know now, I understand that my body lived off my fat, but it also lived off my muscle. Do that for ten or so years and you have a serious case of the jigglies. Since my early 30s, I've been weight- lifting, yoga-ing, power walking, etc., and although I've lost weight and built some muscle mass, I still feel more jiggle when I wiggle than I would like.

Below is an article from Men's Health Magazine. Although there is a lot of information I already knew, there is also some interesting new stuff. Did you know drinking coffee can help lower your risk of getting Parkinson's Disease? And wait til you read about olive oil.... it's not just good for your heart.

8 Foods that Pack on Muscle

If muscles were made from chips and beer, we'd look huge. But they aren't, and we don't -- unless you count that sack o' fat up front and dead center [remember readers, this is an article from a men's magazine]. If not Doritos and double bock, then what? We decided to delve deep into the human anatomy to find the secret spot on every muscle where the word "ingredients" is stamped. With the help of Jeff Volek, Ph.D., R.D., an exercise and nutrition researcher at the University of Connecticut, and a really big magnifying glass, we found it. Here are the eight foods on the list:

Eggs: The Perfect Protein
The protein in eggs has the highest biological value -- a measure of how well it supports your body's protein needs -- of any food, including our beloved beef. "Calorie for calorie, you need less protein from eggs than you do from other sources to achieve the same muscle-building benefits," says Volek.

But you have to eat the yolk. In addition to protein, it also contains vitamin B12, which is necessary for fat breakdown and muscle contraction. (And no, eating a few eggs a day won't increase your risk of heart disease.)

How they keep you healthy: Eggs are vitamins and minerals over easy; they're packed with riboflavin, folate, vitamins B6, B12, D, and E, and iron, phosphorus, and zinc.

Almonds: Muscle Medicine
How they build muscle: Crunch for crunch, almonds are one of the best sources of alpha-tocopherol vitamin E -- the form that's best absorbed by your body. That matters to your muscles because "vitamin E is a potent antioxidant that can help prevent free-radical damage after heavy workouts," says Volek. And the fewer hits taken from free radicals, the faster your muscles will recover from a workout and start growing. How many almonds should you munch? Two handfuls a day should do it. A Toronto University study found that men can eat this amount daily without gaining any weight.

How they keep you healthy: Almonds double as brain insurance. A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that those men who consumed the most vitamin E -- from food sources, not supplements -- had a 67 percent lower risk of Alzheimer's disease than those eating the least vitamin E.

Salmon: The Growth Regulator
How it builds muscle: It's swimming with high-quality protein and omega-3 fatty acids. "Omega-3's can decrease muscle-protein breakdown after your workout, improving recovery," says Tom Incledon, R.D., a nutritionist with Human Performance Specialists. This is important, because to build muscle you need to store new protein faster than your body breaks down the old stuff. Order some salmon jerky from www.freshseafood.com. It'll keep forever in your gym bag and tastes mighty close to cold-smoked cow.

How it keeps you healthy: By reducing your risk of heart disease and diabetes. Researchers at Louisiana State University found that when overweight people added 1.8 grams of DHA -- an omega-3 fatty acid in fish oil -- to their daily diets, their insulin resistance decreased by 70 percent in 12 weeks.

Yogurt: The Golden Ratio
How it builds muscle: Even with the aura of estrogen surrounding it, "yogurt is an ideal combination of protein and carbohydrates for exercise recovery and muscle growth," says Doug Kalman, R.D., director of nutrition at Miami Research Associates.
Buy regular -- not sugar-free -- with fruit buried at the bottom. The extra carbohydrates from the fruit will boost your blood levels of insulin, one of the keys to reducing postexercise protein breakdown.

How it keeps you healthy: Three letters: CLA. "Yogurt is one of the few foods that contain conjugated linoleic acid, a special type of fat shown in some studies to reduce body fat," says Volek.

Beef: Carvable Creatine
How it builds muscle: More than just a piece of charbroiled protein, "beef is also a major source of iron and zinc, two crucial muscle-building nutrients," says Incledon. Plus, it's the No. 1 food source of creatine -- your body's energy supply for pumping iron -- 2 grams for every 16 ounces. For maximum muscle with minimum calories, look for "rounds" or "loins" -- butcherspeak for meat cuts that are extra-lean. Or check out the new "flat iron" cut. It's very lean and the second-most-tender cut of beef overall.

How it keeps you healthy: Beef is a storehouse for selenium. Stanford University researchers found that men with low blood levels of the mineral are as much as five times more likely to develop prostate cancer than those with normal levels.

Olive Oil: Liquid Energy
How it builds muscle: Sure, you could oil up your chest and arms and strike a pose, but it works better if you eat the stuff. "The monounsaturated fat in olive oil appears to act as an anticatabolic nutrient," says Kalman. In other words, it prevents muscle breakdown by lowering levels of a sinister cellular protein called tumor necrosis factor-a, which is linked with muscle wasting and weakness (kind of like watching The View).
And while all olive oil is high in monos, try to use the extra-virgin variety whenever possible; it has a higher level of free-radical-fighting vitamin E than the less-chaste stuff.

How it keeps you healthy: How doesn't it? Olive oil and monounsaturated fats have been associated with everything from lower rates of heart disease and colon cancer to a reduced risk of diabetes and osteoporosis.

Water: The Muscle Bath
How it builds muscle: Whether it's in your shins or your shoulders, muscle is approximately 80 percent water. "Even a change of as little as 1 percent in body water can impair exercise performance and adversely affect recovery," says Volek. For example, a 1997 German study found that protein synthesis occurs at a higher rate in muscle cells that are well hydrated, compared with dehydrated cells. English translation: The more parched you are, the slower your body uses protein to build muscle. Not sure how dry you are? "Weigh yourself before and after each exercise session. Then drink 24 ounces of water for every pound lost," says Larry Kenney, Ph.D., a physiology researcher at Pennsylvania State University.

How it keeps you healthy: Researchers at Loma Linda University found that men who drank five or more 8-ounce glasses of water a day were 54 percent less likely to suffer a fatal heart attack than those who drank two or fewer.

Coffee: The Repetition Builder
How it builds muscle: Fueling your workout with caffeine will help you lift longer. A recent study published in Medicine and Science in Sports and Exercise found that men who drank 2 1/2 cups of coffee a few hours before an exercise test were able to sprint 9 percent longer than when they didn't drink any. (It's believed the caffeine directly stimulates the muscles.) And since sprinting and weight lifting are both anaerobic activities -- exercises that don't require oxygen -- a jolt of joe should help you pump out more reps. Skip it if you have a history of high blood pressure, though.

How it keeps you healthy: By saving you from Michael J. Fox's fate. Harvard researchers found that coffee drinkers have a 30 percent lower risk of Parkinson's disease than nondrinkers.

Quote of the Day: "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy"
Isaac Newton

#104 No Tattoos Allowed

2010-06-07T08:20:00.010-04:00

Once upon a time, I was going to get a tattoo. I swear! Really! In all honesty, though, I never dreamed that I would say "tattoo" and "Bobbie" in the same sentence. However, this tattoo wasn't really for me. This tattoo was going to be a gift. I had decided to surprise my husband for his 40th birthday. Over the years, he has mentioned a few times [like maybe 100] that he finds a small tattoo at the base of a women's spine very sexy, and whenever he sees a female with one of these, he points it out, ergo the 100 times. Not knowing what to get for the man who needs nor wants for anything, I decided that a tattoo would be a great gift. Before I lost my nerve, I called the tattoo parlor and made an appointment. They let me know that they have books of tattoos, and that if I didn't know what I wanted, I should come in at least 45" early to look through them. No need -- I'd already decided. My tattoo was going to have three small hearts attached to each other - one for Marc, Logan and Erica.

The day before my "surgery", I got a phone call confirming my appointment. When I got off the phone, I noticed that my daughter [who was 8 years old at the time of this story] looking at me with a strange expression on her face. I swore her to secrecy, and told her about my surprise gift to daddy. Slowly, she began to shake her head left and right and told me that I was NOT getting a TATTOO! [large letters depict volume of her voice when speaking those words].

I interrupt this babble for a short history: At the time of this event, my daughter had been going to a Jewish day school for almost six years. Since our public school kindergarten was only a half day, and since I was working full time, and since a number of her friends from preschool were going to the Jewish day school full day program, we decided it was a win win to send her there for the year. Well, six years later, she was still there. Since neither Marc nor I are very religious, it was fascinating watching our little girl immersed in speaking Hebrew and hearing her talk about what she was learning. During one of her classes, Erica was taught that Jews do not deface their bodies. This meant that tattooing was a major no-no. She also shared that piercings aren't really allowed either, but since the holes close if left alone, it's not as bad as tattooing.

Back to my Babble: With one hand on her hip and the other pointing at me, Erica told me that when I die, I would not be allowed to be buried in a Jewish cemetery if I had a tattoo. I looked at her like she was crazy, but there she stood, with pointed finger and dagger eyes telling me that she would not allow me to get a tattoo. Humph. I called the tattoo parlor and explained to Rocko, the tattoo artist, that my 8 year old had just informed me that Jewish people can't have tattoos and be buried in a Jewish cemetery. Rocko asks incredulously, "you're an Orthodox Jew getting a tattoo?". I told him no, that I'm actually Reformative [not sure if this is a real word, but it's mine to describe how Marc and I were brought up - combination of Reformed and Conservative]. Rocko told me that my daughter was correct, but that many Jews have their tattoos lasered off after they die so that they can be buried in a Jewish cemetery. I relayed this information to my daughter. She, probably the only Reformative in a school of very conservative and some orthodox Jews, told me tough noogies, no way, uh uh... she "didn't care what that Rocko said". I told Rocko I was sorry and canceled my appointment.

So, want to know what I ended up getting Marc for his 40th birthday? I don't remember.

How do you feel about tattoos and piercings? Got any interesting or funny stories about your own experiences that you want to share?

Quote of the Day: "Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own" Chinese Proverb

#103 Brains, Beauty, Body

2010-05-26T16:13:00.028-04:00

There is a song my son sings by the rapper Sir Mix-A-Lot. It starts like this, "I like big butts and I cannot lie...". The rest of the lyrics are pretty disgusting, but that line caught my attention. Even as a child, I seemed to gravitate to and admire actresses with rounder figures. Well, I did have a girl crush on Farrah Fawcett during the 80s, but I'm not sure if it was she who I liked, or her hair that I coveted. Today, there seem to be fewer full-figured actresses to admire. America Ferrera comes to mind immediately, but I had to think hard before I thought of Jennifer Hudson. Both of whom, by the way, have lost weight after becoming famous. Yet, they both are probably still considered [in the industry] full-figured. Below, I share some of my favorite leading hourglass-figured women.

I love Dolly Parton. I love her spunky personality, her hourglass figure, her singing and song-writing abilities, and her no-nonsense way of getting right to the point. Dolly watches her weight, but doesn't really diet. She says, "I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets". As for her Ta Ta's, I remember reading an article where she shared that she is naturally well endowed and that the only plastic surgery she's had was to help "the girls" from going south. Well I say, good for her... and the girls. Truly, if your breasts are going to be that big they should live above the belly button.

Another woman I admire is Sophia Loren. She's no shrinking violet either. I also love and agree with her feelings about aging. In an interview after the movie Nine, she was asked about how she has kept her body and face so youthful. In response, she raised her eyebrows at the interviewer [like, I can't believe you just asked me about my face], and then went on to share that she eats pasta at least once a day, exercises a couple of times a week, and I think she may have mentioned something about sleep. Then, she asked him this question [paraphrasing], I've spent my life taking care of my body so that I would always look my best. Why is it that when you cross a certain age it's called vanity? My response: because those people who consider the time and effort women spend on maintaining their girlish figure and facial skin tone are also the one's who think they are "aging gracefully". There, I'll get off my soap box.

I could keep going, but I'll end with one of my all time favorite stars, Barbra Streisand. I love that we share the same name [Bobbie is my nickname], and that her fingernails always look so amazing. I can honestly say that I've enjoyed every movie in which she has starred, musical, comedy or drama. One of my favorite oldies is the movie Funny Girl. I'll never forget the scene where she comes out on stage as a bride. The chorus girls [her maids of honor I suppose], who surround her are singing how beautiful she is and that she's a star.... at which point they move away, she turns sideways, and the the audience can see that she is 9 months pregnant. Ok, her beauty is not classic and she doesn't have a cultured speaking voice, but who cares. Her intelligence, drive and independence make her a woman to contend with. And here is Barbra; "I arrived in Hollywood without having my nose fixed, my teeth capped, or my name changed. That is very gratifying to me".

Quote of the day: "When you learn something from people, or from a culture, you accept it as a gift, and it is your lifelong commitment to preserve it and build on it" Yo-Yo Ma, musician

#102 Finding Your "Own" Loveliness

2010-05-19T16:18:00.013-04:00

Why do I desire to be thin? To be honest, because I like the way I look and feel when I am "thin". Right now, thin would be 132 pounds. I presently weigh 139 pounds. When I got married 20 years ago, my thin was 126 pounds. Let me say here, it's not that I want to be 126 pounds or 132 pounds. It's just that when I felt my best, my most attractive, my healthiest and happiest with the way I looked and felt in my clothing, I got on the scale and those were the numbers. I didn't work towards those numbers, those numbers reflected my body at that time. Although I try not to let numbers rule my life, the scale does play a pretty large role. My scale and I are friends though, not enemies. How do I feel about 139 lbs? At 48 years old, with 2 children and a sluggish thyroid being treated with medication, pretty damn good. Not totally satisfied, to be truthful, but happy. I continue to try to improve upon my physique with exercise and healthy eating; however, I do these things to attain the body in which I feel best, not a body that I've see in a magazine.

The media play a very large role in how women think they should look. Models are stick thin, and actresses, if not stick thin, are extremely svelte [to be kind]. If it's really true that TV puts ten pounds on you, well then, some of those actresses must be emaciated because on the television they appear [very] thin. Let us remember, their livelihoods are based on how good they look. They spend hours a day working on their bodies, not just with exercising and grooming, but massaging them, regulating their diets, spray tanning to hide flaws... and lest we forget, potentially nipping, tucking and lifting. Plus, they have personal chefs and nutritionists on staff to help them eat well. How can we non-Hollywood, non-runway ladies attain perfection when having a "perfect body" includes knowing someone with an airbrush? No matter how "perfect" they get in real life, what we see in a magazine has been "played" with.

If society slowly begins showing untouched "normal" sized women in print ads and "normal" sized women on television, would our vision of ourselves change too? In a sense, yes. In another sense, no. If these new "larger" women are the new standard for beauty, I think we would still aspire to look like them. However, we just might find more women trying to gain weight instead of starving themselves to look like them.

It's so ridiculous, though. Why do we try to be someone to whom we are not ethnically or chronologically or genetically alike? This is what it really comes down to. We need to aspire to our "own" greatness and not that of someone else. If you are 5'2", how can you ever hope to look like the model who is 5'11"? If you are from an Hispanic ancestry that for generations has been popping out black haired, black eyed beauties, you are just setting yourself up for heartache and years of frustration if you are trying to be a red head with freckles. I have a friend who is blond and blue-eyed. She went to a university in Texas where a large majority of the girls were blond and blue-eyed, and it was the brunettes and girls with dark complexions who stood out and were sought out. We should look at ourselves as our measure. We know when we are looking and feeling and dressing our best. Let's follow that feeling. Let's strive for our own loveliness and not someone else's.

If you've ever loved another, you know that you accept them for their wonderful qualities as well as their faults. You try not to be judgmental. You don't expect them to be what they aren't, nor what they can't be. Your love for them allows them to be themselves. Well, see yourself with those eyes, those non judgmental eyes. Not the eyes of someone who wants to love that person if only they were...

photos: Marc and [me 28 years old], Marc and [me 48 years old]

Quote of the Day: Do not judge yourself harshly. Without mercy for ourselves we cannot love the world" Buddha

Super Heroes and Barbie Dolls

2010-05-17T21:22:00.005-04:00

Below is a blog by Darren McDuffie of http://www.watchyourtrainerblog.com/. He recently asked if I would guest write a babble for his blog; I asked the same in return. Darren is a personal trainer in Florida. I like what he has to say and have quoted and shared some of his ideas in previous babbles.

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I went to see Iron Man 2 last weekend...great movie by the way! I also saw the first Iron Man movie. Hollywood usually “botches” the second effort, but Iron Man 2 lived up to the hype. I just hope they don’t start to beat the sequel thing into the ground like the Friday The 13th movies. It really got to the point where Crystal Lake needed to dry up and Jason needed a rest. Who can kill that many people anyway? Doesn’t it get boring?

Why do superheroes always have perfect bodies?

As a child, I would play with my action figures for hours on end, and I can remember wanting muscles like they had. I thought everyone grew up to have a thick chest and arms that looked like big pieces of pot roast. I also noticed they had skinny little legs... what’s up with that? All muscle up top and no legs! How could their body carry it all? Now, I have skinny legs -- that’s one thing I can say manifested from my superhero dreams, but I am still waiting on the superhero body transformation kit, not to mention the xray glasses I ordered way back when. Once I get the kit, I can finally get the chest and arms I have been wanting for years. I don’t think I need the xray glasses anymore, and I think my girlfriend would smack the “beejeezus” out of me if she knew what my intentions were for using them. Anyway, if my superhero kit and xray glasses end up in your mailbox please forward them to me down here in Florida. them.

My sister played with Barbie Dolls. What girl didn’t? I remember I would get mad at her and tie a string around her doll’s neck and hang them over the closet door. Yeah, I know I was MEAN, but there are no feelings spared between brother and sister when you are young. I love my sister dearly now, but we had our “fall outs” when we were younger. I always got the best of her by the way because I was the most devious and heartless. One of the things I hated the most was seeing her play Barbie Dolls with her friends. They would sit for what seemed like forever doing the doll’s hair, serving tea, and putting clothes on the doll with the perfect body. Yes, Barbie had the perfect body! The perfect legs, the perfect hips, and the perfect arms.

We are too old to believe in Superheroes and Barbies now, aren’t we? I would like to think that is a false assumption, but I think it's only partly true. Let me explain. I think people know we can’t fly or see through buildings, but some really do think there is such thing as the perfect body. They want that Barbie or Superhero body, and they beat themselves up when they can’t get it. I have heard comments from women who say, “ I wish I had her body,” or “how did she get a body like that?” They then go to the store and buy a magazine to follow the next new workout plan that some hot starlet’s $2000 an hour trainer designed. Men are no stranger to this either and fall for the same thing. I remember spending loads of money on Body Building magazines only to realize at 6’7 I would never be a bodybuilder because most of those guys were just above midget height, and packing on muscle was easy for them. I never realized that certain things were just natural for my body, and my body was uniquely mine. Have you come to that conclusion yourself?

Image and perception are totally different. Barbie Dolls and Superheroes are an image put before us by people like us, who are imperfect. It’s up to you to take that image and perceive it in a different way. You can take something you like about someone and say, “I would like to have slimmer thighs like hers.” You may never get her thighs because your body type can be totally different then her body type. You can’t have his arms, because your arms are different than his. You can work to make your arms bigger, but they won’t look like his because they are unique to him. As a trainer, I see many people who miss this point and end up feeling discouraged because they can’t look like so and so. If we all looked liked so and so, the world would be a pretty boring place, and I would be out of a job! Models and actors are nice to look at, but most were born with flaws, just like you and me. TV and magazines accentuate the good and not the flaws. If you accentuate the positives with your own body, you can be happier with the shell you are in. Who knows, you might just have someone that envies you.

See you on the lean side,

Darren McDuffie
http://watchyourtrainerblog.com/

Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist
Certified Nutrition and Weight Management Specialist
Certified Exercise Foundations Specialist
Certified Fitness Testing Specialist

#101 Swollen and Puffy

2010-05-12T17:08:00.011-04:00

I don't know about you, but when I eat a slice or two of pizza, my digits [all 20] swell. Couple that pizza with some red wine, and you can add puffy eyelids and swollen ankles. And pizza isn't even the worst culprit. My little nuclear family loves ethnic foods, and along with their wonderful spices and flavors, comes a salt quantity that my body parts can measure by the crystal. If I know that I'm wearing a tennis skirt, shorts or having to show my lower legs the next day, I either pass on any unknown foods, or drink so much water that I'm visiting every potty I pass for the next 12 hours. After many a party, I've come home and removed my little sausages from the shoes, sandals or boots that had felt wonderful at the beginning of the evening. And let me just add this little [personal] fact - salt induced puffiness has only gotten worse with age. I'm worried. If it's like this now at 48, what can I expect at 58? 68?

Tackling the salt problem doesn't seem to be my problem alone [not that I really thought it was]. I was listening to NPR a few weeks ago and they were talking about grocery manufacturers reducing the amount of salt that they add to their foods. The person being interviewed said that these companies are doing it willingly, but that for a lot of people, these reduced salt foods taste bland, and for the companies, they are not big sellers. I, for one, only buy reduced sodium soups. If someone finds the taste bland, someone can add salt at the table.

I didn't grow up using a lot of salt, and it wasn't a big addition to the foods I was given as a child. On the other hand, my husband and kids find that many of the dishes I cook [ok, almost everything] are bland. Sometimes they add salt without even tasting first. I've seen this phenomena in restaurants too, adding salt before the meal is tasted. Knowing how my ankles and feet respond to most restaurant foods, I can tell you that there is already sufficient sodium added in the kitchen. In addition, frozen packaged "meals" will not be found in my freezer, nor many other prepared kinds of foods solely because of the salt content.

Recently, I read an article in a nutrition magazine that said that the World Health Organization and the National Academy of Sciences have recommended that we reduce our sodium consumption in the United States. Interestingly, one of the major reasons the US is moving towards salt reduction in foods is because of the British government. They are on quest to reduce sodium induced medical problems, and have asked food manufacturers to slash the amount of salt being added to their foods. Companies like McDonalds, General Mills, and Kraft have jumped on the bandwagon. Last November, the FDA held a public hearing recommending that salt levels be regulated by the government. Not surprisingly, there was no standing ovation. The companies, instead, pushed for voluntary measures.

What this means is that we can't wait for "someone" else to take care of us. Like removing hydrogenated oils and trans fats from our diets and kitchen cabinets, we need to take the reins with salt too. The recommended daily intake of sodium is about 2400 milligrams. That's about a teaspoon size. Even if you are not bothered by salt, I recommend that you take a look at the amount of sodium in your next microwaved dinner, restaurant meal, and morning cereal. You will be greatly surprised.

Below are some foods [picked at random] and their sodium content -

Beets - 40 mg sodium per 1/2 cup, boiled
Celery - 50 mg sodium per 1/2 cup, raw
Spinach - 65 mg sodium per 1/2 cup, boiled
Kelp - 65 mg sodium per 1/2 cup, raw
Swiss Chard - 160 mg sodium per 1/2 cup, boiled
Oysters - 190 mg sodium per 3 ounces, steamed
Shrimp - 195 mg sodium per 3 ounces, steamed
Lean cuisine balsamic glazed chicken - 890 mg per serving
Amys roasted veggie pizza - 490 mg per 4 ounces serving
Milano cookies - 65 mg per 2 cookies serving
Egg McMuffin - 820 mg per single serving
Hamburger with chees - 100 mg per 4 ounce serving [made at home]
Chilis Hamburger with cheese - 1300 mg 6 ounce serving
Boca Burger - 260 mg per single serving
Chocolate chip cookie from Subway - 150 mg per cookie

Quote of the Day: “If you want to learn, teach. If you need inspiration, inspire others. If you’re sad, cheer someone up.” Leo, Zen Habits

Mothers Day

2010-05-08T22:34:00.002-04:00

Always Dreamed of Being a Mom

#100 Practicing Safe Sun

2010-05-05T12:55:00.013-04:00

Although I know my daughter as well as most mothers know theirs, I feel like I'm constantly trying to catch up.

The more time I spend with my daughter, the more I realize how different we are. Erica is confident, strong willed, very affectionate and driven. At fourteen, those were traits I did not have, and some that I still don't. When I say driven, I mean that Erica is not ok with just being good enough [that's my comfort zone], she wants to be the best, and will work hard to achieve that. Erica is a junior black belt. She went to karate 2-5 times a week from the ages of six to twelve and could have just had fun, but once her sensei told her about being a black belt, she diligently worked towards that belt. Athletically, she competed with much older kids and some adults. I remember like yesterday dropping her off for her black belt test. When I walked into the studio two hours later, she was absolutely exhausted. Her hair was totally disheveled, she wore a bruise or two or ten, and had a gigantic grin on her face. First time.... she passed.

Erica comes into my room to kiss me goodnight because more times than not, I'm in bed before she is. She's a night owl, and does some of her best work after 10:00 pm. In high school and college, I would get up at 5:00 am to study rather than stay up late or [god forbid] pull an all-nighter. On occasion, I have gotten up around midnight or later to visit the bathroom, and can see that her light is still on.

Erica's body is older than she is. A few months ago I discussed with her that men/young men/boys may say, do or be inappropriate towards her because of her [grown-up] body. Inappropriate because even though her body says "woman", her emotional age is 14, albeit a mature 14, but still 14. I told her that when the Y chromosome looks at her, they aren't seeing a 14 year old, they are seeing her body . She knows that she has the same body as I did at her age. I explained that I spent my tweens, teens and early into my 20s wondering what it was that I did to attract "bad" attention. I didn't dress sexy nor was I a flirt. What I had was big boobs and a sweet personality.... one that didn't talk back or make people feel bad for their actions. When I finished this mom-daughter chat, Erica hugged me, then patted my shoulder and said, "Don't worry about me mom. I think I have a lot more confidence in myself than you did". I silently pondered whether that "did" tense should be a "do" tense.

My wonderful daughter and I don't argue. It's really simple, she's better at it than I am. As a kid, I was taught not to argue or question my parents or authority. I just never had any practice. Erica can argue a point in 12 different ways, and I learned early on, that she can go on longer than I can. I just don't have the stamina or head for this type of "debate". I usually end the "argument" with one of the following yelled statements: "because I said so" or "discuss this with your father". Marc understands this personality characteristic... it's his DNA handed down and multiplied tenfold with female wiliness mixed in. Sometimes she crosses the line with me. She knows that respect for others, and especially her parents, is required of her at all times. Happily, she knows when she's crossed the line, and apologizes with hugs and kisses. However, this strong trait, which I may not like as a mom, is a characteristic that I don't want to put the kibosh on. Since as a kid, I never talked back, debated, nor fought for what I wanted, I want her to know how to stand up for herself without worrying about "getting into trouble". She has learned that you win some and lose some.

And this is the essence of Erica... We are driving downtown and she asks if we can go bathing suit shopping. I say sure, and then proceed to tell her that she really needs to start taking care of her pale, Eastern European complexion. That unlike her brother and me, she burns and doesn't tan. She laughingly says, "Mom, don't worry. I practice safe sun". At which, I roll my eyes and think, it might be time to have that other conversation!

Quote of the Day: "People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” Dale Carnegie

p.s. permission granted by said daughter to print this babble

#99 Avoir de Ennui

2010-04-28T17:19:00.015-04:00

I was on Facebook today reading a post by a fellow blogger. Lynn has lost 168 pounds, has maintained that weight for 3 years, has shared her journey on Oprah, CNNs Fit Nation, is a member of the Joy Fit Club on The Today show, and is working on a book. I follow her blog http://www.lynnsweigh.blogspot.com/ to keep inspired and to learn. In her Facebook post, she shared that she was in one of those "I could eat everything and anything" mood, and then posed the question, "What makes you feel this way?" One of her "friends" responded that she feels that way when she is unfocused. I loved that explanation.

Many times I find myself shopping in my pantry, fridge and freezer for something to eat, but have trouble finding "that" something because truly, I'm not hungry. Same goes for those times when I start to eat a few cookies, find no satisfaction, and then start in on something else hoping that whatever I'm eating will take care of how I'm feeling. More times than not, I'm not sad or angry or lonely or happy or bored or..... I'm just unfocused. Many weight programs and books recommend that when you feel a binge coming on or a desire to eat for emotional reasons, you should stop and hone in on how you are feeling. They say write it down then and there and perhaps [hopefully] the feeling will pass and so will this 'unfocused' desire. I've tried this, but again, more times than not, I couldn't figure out how I was feeling.

In high school I took French as my foreign language. While reading a book in class one day, I came across this verse, avoir de ennui. I knew ennui was defined as boredom, humdrum and tedium, but when I looked up this verse in the French dictionary, boredom turned to "I have problems". So, since high school, when I find myself eating when I'm not hungry or eating a whole box or bag of something, I tell myself that I am "having ennui" and try to figure out what the "problem" is.

Do I still have my ennui moments? Mais, bien sur [but ,of course]! However, they are fewer and much farther apart. Actually, I can't remember the last time I felt that way. While I still have thoughts of wanting M&M's at the movies or ordering an ice cream cone and wishing it was more like a waffle cone with all the trimmings, I haven't given into them. And this is why - it's not healthy. Once I stopped denying myself food because it was on the "do not eat" list, and changed my thought process to it's not on the healthy list, I was able to make sense of it. Also, I think one begins to feel this way with maturity and age. Of course there are those youngsters [right now that's anyone under 40] who eat in a mostly healthy manner without thinking twice; I still sometimes have to think thrice.

Alas, because youngsters don't always see the advantage of eating healthy now for a healthy later, they need to be taught. I'm not sure Michelle Obama's healthy no-chocolate-Easter-egg-hunt will change the way kids eat, however, I am so happy that someone with a voice that carries weight and carries far, has taken on this very important healthcare challenge. We need to teach our youth that putting unhealthy foods into our bodies does unhealthy things to our bodies.

I think this should be the message: Staying up late for special occasions is a treat and doesn't hurt you in the long run - the same goes with having a bag of M&Ms or a double scoop ice cream cone. I believe that if you reach a child early enough with this message, it just may stick.

Quote of the Day: Seize the Day! Every Exit is also an Entrance.... [copied from a Facebook post]

# 98 If You're Not Ready, It Ain't Going To Happen

2010-04-18T18:36:00.015-04:00

My son passed his driving test yesterday. He is 17 years and 3 months old. Here in Pennsylvania, a person can get their permit at 16. After six months of driving with one's parents and/or taking lessons, the teenager can take the driving test. Fifteen months ago, when Logan turned 16 years old, he had no interest in getting his permit. He had some fears and worries, and truly, was just not ready. Not wanting to push him, but at the same time not wanting him not to do something because of fear or anxiety, Marc and I told him he should wait until spring when the weather would be better and the roads would be safer. In April, he still wasn't ready, but I gently nudged him along until I lost my patience and told him that I was taking him on Friday at 2:00 [he was off from school] and that he should spend the morning taking practice tests on line. We went. He passed. I think he celebrated with a water ice.

I could give you a blow-by-blow of the months leading up to yesterday, but suffice it to say, he practiced driving, but was never one of those kids who asked, "hey mom, can I drive?". Logan was quite content being the passenger. For his 16th birthday, my inlaws bought him some driving lessons. Again, he wasn't jumping up and down with excitement, but he took the lessons and learned. The instructor was a gem and had the patience of a saint. About six months after getting his permit, Logan took the driving test and failed. Trust me when I say I was more upset than he was.

Here's the point. He wasn't ready!! Some boys at 16 are emotionally ready for this big step into adulthood, and some are not. Like everything in his life, Logan did this at his own pace. He learned to ride a bicycle a little later than some and earlier than others. He learned to tie his shoes in the same fashion. When he failed the driving test for the first time, he deserved to fail. He was not a good driver and the examiner saw it right away. When he passed this time, it was a cinch. He was ready in every way.

What this experience has reinforced for me is that when we are not fully engaged and ready to take on a task/job/project, from soup to nuts, it ain't going to happen. This totally relates to my Trevose Behavior Modification group. For new members, there are lots of rules. For example, you must come to the meetings every Tuesday, you must keep a food journal, you must get weighed at each meeting, and the most important rule of all, on the last meeting day of the month you must have lost the number of pounds you were told to lose at the beginning of the month [for maintainers, they must be within 90% of their goal]. Very simple. The members who follow these rules are successful. My leaders have been in the group for 16 and 18 years respectively. This spring, it will be 10 years for me.

The fact is you can't succeed until the time is right... for you! The commitment has to be for you and you alone. You can't lose weight successfully if it's to make someone else happy; This is your happy. Many people join our group, but not all succeed. Like Logan, they wanted to "get their license", but were kind of wishy washy about how to get there and were not consistent in their actions. They made a commitment, but their hearts weren't' fully in it.

Here's the punch line, don't be too hard on yourself if you fail your driver's test or fall off the diet wagon. When you are ready and willing to fully commit to your goal, success is just around the corner. No one can tell you when the time is right. You will know.

Good luck in all your endeavors!

By the way, just in case you were worried, Logan proofed this babble and gave me his permission to post it.

Quote of the Day: "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up" Vince Lombardi, football coach

#97 Chaffing Thighs and All That

2010-04-10T18:27:00.012-04:00

FAT SERENITY

Is there such a thing as fat serenity? A friend of mine told me that when she was going to Overeater's Anonymous, she spent years "in" Fat Serenity. Part of her knew she wasn't really happy, but the other part wanted to accept herself for the way she was. There are many factors to achieving happiness in life. One way is to achieve satisfaction with your body image. The media, with their skinny models and actors, has told us that being thin is attractive. So, is being 10 pounds over weight unattractive? Some people may feel that way, and some may not.

Let me say here that I believe you can have FS. I mean, really, it's all relative. If you've struggled with your weight for years and finally reach a weight where you can feel comfortable and are able to maintain it, then good for you. The number on the scale is only meaningful to you. For example, I used to work with a man who, for at least 20 years, weighed between 250 and 270 pounds. He was 5'10" and all the charts and doctors told him his weight was too much for his frame. One day he told me that although his life was good, and that no one made him feel fat or self conscious, at least to his face, he needed to do something because he wasn't happy with his body. He always felt slightly removed from that happiness because of the way he felt about himself. He told me that the way he saw himself reflected in everything he did and in all his decisions. Happily, he was finally able to find an eating/exercise plan that worked for him, and he has been maintaining a weight range of 200-210 pounds for the past 8 years. Another man at 5'10" might think 200-210 is "fat", but for Mr. X, it is a dream weight. He knows, feels and accepts that he is still somewhat overweight, but it's at this weight where he feels most happy and healthy. He has achieved a form of FS; he knows he's overweight and he has a positive body image.

If you are not healthy, I think Fat Serenity can be dangerous. I read an article in a fitness magazine years ago that posed the question, "What good is being happy if your weight is a danger to yourself?" It talked about how people think they are happy... while popping pills for their high cholesterol, their diabetes, their joint pain, their heart problems, etc. Of course we can still have these types of problems and illnesses without being overweight, but the point is with modern day medical care, we can mask our weight induced illnesses.

An acquaintance I met on vacation [who I would consider obese], told me that dressing "people like her" had become nicer and more fashionable in the last 20 years. For many years, the fashions for those not in the department store size ranges was pretty awful. Everything was tent-like and stretchy, had awful patterns, and every fat person looked alike. Now there are stores that cater to the very large, and the clothing is fashionable. Does this mean if you look good, then maybe you'll talk yourself into feeling good? Is this FS? There is no judgement here! When I quit smoking I gained 40 pounds in 3 months and weighed 160 pounds. I too was able to find clothing that was high fashion and made me look attractive. Yet, did I feel good and attractive? Not really. Under those pretty clothes, my thighs chaffed, my feet killed because my shoes had gotten too tight, my knees ached terribly when I climbed more than 4 steps, and my tush spilled over too many chairs for me to count.

What it really comes down to is being happy AND healthy at whatever weight you are. We humans have an amazing way of seeing what we want to see and ignoring that which is right in front of us [I ignored that cigarette weight for six months before deciding to do something about it]. I know how hard it is to lose weight. I know how hard it is to maintain a weight loss. There is a saying, "be true to yourself". I don't know about you, but this rings true for me.

In the end, that's all we can do... find [our own] serenity.

Quote of the Day: "A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width", author unknown

#96 X-Rated Acrobatics

2010-03-31T17:02:00.022-04:00

I'm exhausted. I wish I could say that my sleep is being cut short by my nightly hot and amorous love sessions, but alas, no. It's a different kind of hot. I, at 47 years old, have the night sweats, although truthfully, I don't sweat. I wake up from a deep sleep as if I am the furnace heating something as large as the Pentagon... in mid winter. There is no sweating, just a burning hot feeling, like roasting-on-a-skewer. I throw the sheet and quilt off in one fell swoop. Later, my pajama bottoms follow; sometimes my top. Then I try to fall back asleep, just to be awoken -- chilled. The sheet goes back on. A little later, the quilt follows. Then the dance starts again. I may get a few hours of "good" sleep, but in between those wonderful moments, I'm awake either covering or stripping - no sweating. Just HEAT. Why wear pajamas at all? Well, here's the paradoxical weird peri-menopausal thing; I go to bed shivering, sometimes with chattering teeth... I am COLD.

I'm in pain. And it's not that my workouts are so strenuous either. Yes, my tight hamstring makes touching my toes painful, and yes, my old rotator cuff injury to my right shoulder hurts if I play too much tennis, but this pain is different. I wake up with it. This "new" pain is in my neck, around both my shoulders and my elbows. I considered that perhaps I was causing these problems with all my pulling on and pushing off of the sheet and quilt. However, after going to my chiropractor and listening to one of my neighbors tell me about her aches and pains, I realized that I was injuring myself in my sleep. I shared my ordeal with Janice, my tennis buddy, and when I expected her to laugh, she didn't. Rather, she told me that she wears wrist guards to bed so that she can't bend her wrists while she is sleeping. Instead of her laughing, I laughed.... all the way to the drugstore to purchase my own wrist guards. Guess what? They work. For the past week, I've only had one night of elbow pain. Ironically, that elbow pain was due to one of my "heat sessions" -- I was so hot I even ripped those babies off.

Try to picture this sleeping beauty -- I climb into bed with my wrists wrapped and velcro'd straight, wearing my retainer [an orthodontic device], my night time moisturizer [which if you tried plant a kiss on my cheek, you'd slide off ending with your nose in my ear], my comfy fluffy all cotton jammies, and sometimes, socks.

Ok, the truth -- everything you just read is a lie. Here's the real story. I'm sleep deprived and injured because my wonderful husband finds all that clothing and hardware so arousing and stimulating that our nights are spent performing x-rated acrobatics -- LOL

Quote of the Day: "CAN YOU PLEASE CLEAN YOUR ROOM?!?!? THIS MONTH?!?!?!" Bobbie Rothman, Mother

#95 My Generation and Then Some

2010-03-30T13:03:00.010-04:00

My brother sent this to me via email. I thought it was cute as well as pertinent to my blog since, in my blog, I write about thoughts on life, living, the pursuit of the perfect body and the inevitable aging of our finally [if one is so lucky] achieved perfect body. Below are some fun musings on then and now. I made a few changes, but it should still give you a giggle.

1978: Long hair
2028: Longing for hair

1978: KEG
2028: EKG

1978: Acid rock
2028: Acid reflux

1978: Moving to California because it's cool
2028: Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1978: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2028: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1978: Seeds and stems
2028: Roughage

1978: Hoping for a BMW
2028: Hoping for a BM

1978: Going to a new, hip joint
2028: Receiving a new hip joint

1978: Rolling Stones
2028: Kidney Stones

1978: Screw the system
2028: We are the system

1978: Disco
2028: Costco

1978: Passing the drivers' test
2028: Passing the vision test

1978: Whatever
2028: Depends

Just in case you weren't feeling old enough, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1992.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced 2 years before they were born .

They have always had an answering machine and call waiting.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane.."

They do not care who shot J. R. nor do they have any idea who J. R. is.

They never experienced McDonald's in Styrofoam containers.

Most don't have a clue how to use a typewriter, but can tell you the working of a microwave.

Quote of the Day: "I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it." ~Charles Schulz

#94 Cell Phone Chit Chat

2010-03-15T15:43:00.013-04:00

I recently read an article in the Oprah Magazine by Dr. Oz. The topic, how to avoid cell phone dangers, caught my eye. Almost everyone over the age of 10 seems to have a phone, and I've heard and read that many young adults no longer keep a land line, but instead, use their cell phones. Because I have two teenagers who will have grown up using cellphones, I want to help them be smart about technology; the good, the bad and the ugly. So, I think it's important not to just find out what and if there are potential dangers to using a cell phone, but also be educated about the best ways to care for ourselves and loved ones.

Dr. Oz explains to the reader about a form of electromagnetic radiation called RF [radiofrequency]. In the article, he sites a number of studies. One study, completed in 1995, found increased risk of brain tumors in rats from RF. However, other studies show conflicting data. For example, in 2009, the Danish Cancer Society was unable to corroborate the findings showing that RF increases one's chances of brain tumors or brain cell damage. This reminds me of a story I read a number of years ago about the speed detectors that Policemen use. It seems that a police officer, who was diagnosed with testicular cancer, believed his cancer was probably caused by the speed catcher that sat in his lap when he wasn't using it. What this tells me, and what Dr. Oz recommends, is to reduce your exposure to potential dangers as much as possible... be they radiation, toxins, malodorous substances and/or chemicals.

Here are his recommendations for limiting exposure to cell phone radiation:

1. Use a headset or speakerphone - "One study shows that using a headset lowers radiation exposure eightfold."

2. Keep your phone out of your pants pocket - [paraphrased] Cleveland Clinic study found that RF from cell phones kept in pockets lowers fertility in men and an article in the Journal of Craniofacial Surgery linked cell phone radiation to decreased bone density.

3. Stop talking while driving - "Using your phone in the car causes it to jump between wireless towers. Since RF is highest when a connection with a tower is first established, talking while traveling can increase exposure."

4. Don't chat with a poor signal - "The harder your phone has to work to get reception, the more radiation it emits. You should also avoid using the so-called radiation shields; they actually force the phone to transmit at a higher power."

5. Limit children's use - "Kids have a thinner skull, and their brains are still developing - which may make them more vulnerable to any potential harmful effects of RF radiation."

6. Don't wear wireless headsets as if they were jewelry - "Earpieces don't emit as much radiation as a phone, but they release some. Remove the device between conversations."

Any other recommendations? Suggestions? All comments welcome!

Quote of the Day: "Alternative viewpoints can be just as useful in treating illness, only we don't hear about them as often." Christine Northrup, MD

#93 The Magic Pill

2010-03-08T21:13:00.033-05:00

During a discussion about habits and addiction, my friend Shelly mentioned that although alcohol is addictive and difficult to stop, people dealing with food issues have it harder because they have to "face the devil at least three times a day". Ain't that the truth! I'm not belittling the difficulty in kicking any habit, but I think she has a point. One doesn't have to have cigarettes, heroin or alcohol in the home... at least I don't think so. Wouldn't it be wonderful if breaking a habit could be as easy, painless and enjoyable as learning one? If there was a magic pill that could help you lose weight and be done with it once and for all, would you take it? Well, I thought I had found the magic pill.

I have shared with my doctor how hard the struggle is for me on a daily basis; that I have food "issues" and they sometimes get in the way of living. I told him about this blog and sharing in a public forum. He said that he's heard this woeful tail many, many times over the years in private from friends, in his office from patients, and in public from strangers.

Here's a good example of "issues" getting in the way. An acquaintance of mine, "Esmarelda", thought it would be fun to join a book club. She asked around, curious to see if all book clubs are the same. What Ezzie found out was that they may differ in how they are run, but food and/or alcohol are a big part of the gathering. She decided it would be safer and saner not to join one because she would either be desiring the food, or she would be eating the food and wishing she wasn't. I knew exactly how she felt.

I know. You're thinking it's just some nosh, and you're right. However, when my head is not in the game, when I'm emotionally fragile and a little out of control with my food choices, number of servings, etc., that's when food soothes what ails me [well not really, but I think it will].

Anyway, after years of hearing about my food issues, my doctor thought that maybe I was a little OCD. He compared me to those people who have to wash their hands 20x a day or who have to touch every doorknob until they reach their destination. He thought that maybe I had a little bit of this because on a REALLY BAD day, my thoughts sound pretty repetitious -- don't eat that, why are you eating that?, stop eating that, don't go in that store, you shouldn't have had that, and so on. He said he couldn't believe that I have this babble [my word] running in my head.

Well, I'll tell you right here and now, the pill he gave me to "help" my OCD [and that I had to take for 8 weeks to see if it worked] didn't work. It wasn't the magic pill.

When I returned after the 8 weeks, we talked some more. I told him that food was an emotional crutch, and that I ate beyond "normal" to push down feelings. However, over the years [and we're talking 3 decades-ish], I've learned to use food for lots of reasons, and that at this point in my life, I'm just tired "dealing". And when something tastes really good, like a piece of chocolate devil's food cake, I want more... even after eating 2 pieces... even if I'm full. I know a lot of people who feel this way, and yet, don't give into their desire to have another bite. I know how to teach my kids healthy eating habits, but I don't always listen to my own wisdom. Well, after getting an ear-full, my doctor thought that perhaps what I really needed was something to help me suppress the desire to eat.

He prescribed Phentermine. On the first day of this drug, I thought I had found THE magic pill. It did just what the doctor ordered. I described this new feeling to my friends and husband as one of "turning off the switch". I didn't think about food, period. When I got hungry I ate. Sometimes when I got hungry and didn't eat right then and there, I forgot that I was hungry. In the past, I have tried to use activity to "quench" my hunger, but this was different. Ten days later I was down six pounds, without even trying - I Swear! I had found the magic pill.

NOT

About 2 1/2 weeks later, a despondent me called the doctor because the pill's magic was waning. My switch was no longer turned "off" all the time. When I explained how I felt, my doctor said that he had given me the lowest dose and that he could give me the next level up. YES - I almost screamed over the phone. Alas, about 3 weeks on the new dose, I started to experience the same results as I did with the lower dose. In the end, I had lost 8 pounds, which is 2 more than I wanted to lose, but I was sad. I had experienced what it felt to be normal, and now that I had had normal for the first time since I was 13, I wanted to keep it; Not possible. This drug didn't come in a higher dose, and to take it off label would be very dangerous and stupid.

This is what the doctor recommended - that when I felt that my eating [and eating thoughts] were beyond my control, I should take the Phentermine for 3-5 days so that I could remember what "normal" feels like, and try to ride that wave for as long as I could. Although this is not what I wanted to hear, it was better than nothing. I find myself using my un-wonder drug 2 or 3 times a year. It's not the perfect solution, but it reminds me of how good normal felt.....

Quote of the Day: "When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change." Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

#92 Mirror Mirror

2010-03-03T19:48:00.018-05:00

I own many mirrors. These mirrors, of all shapes and sizes, are hung around my home in almost every room. Yet, my favorite one sits on the counter in my bathroom. It has its own light and magnifies to 15x. Needless to say, I also hate this mirror. However, I wouldn't be able to pluck my eyebrows, floss my teeth or check my nose pores without it. If my sister lived nearby, I could probably rely on her to tell me when there was something amiss [like something hanging from my nose, G-d forbid], but since she doesn't live near me, I need my mirror. Recently, and to my horror, my mirror showed me something new and terrible... Let me back up here.

As a kid, I remember watching my mom check her teeth in the rear view mirror. The first time I saw her do this I asked what she was doing. She told me that at a certain age one's gums begin to recede and food gets stuck between your teeth. I remember thinking that I was glad I wasn't old. As a kid, I remember a family friend kissed me hello and told me that my skin was very soft. I thought her skin was pretty soft too. A few years later I kissed this same friend hello and felt a sharp pin-like jab on my cheek. Later that night when I told my mom about that "pin", she said that as women age, their hormones change and sometimes they get facial hair. Yuck, I thought. As a kid, I sometimes slept over at my nana and pop pop's house. In the morning, my nana would have a cup of hot water with lemon and a bowl of prunes. I asked her why she didn't drink coffee or tea with her hot water. She told me that she had figured out that the combination of the hot water and prunes kept her regular. I don't think I need to explain that one, but at the time, I couldn't imagine that a person needed help making a poop.

Well, here I am at "that age", I guess. I find myself checking my teeth in any mirror available after eating. Sadly, eating pistachios in public [without an accompanying fluid] is no longer an option since what doesn't go down the food tube loves to hang around between my front teeth. However, since I brought up "something new and terrible" in the first paragraph, I might as well blurt it out now. Facial Hair. There, I said it. I'm the lady that now pokes people when I kiss them hello.

As is abundantly clear, my hormones must be a-changin. Here I am, at forty-seven, with my 15x mirror showing sporadic hair growth. I'm not talking beard and sideburns [jeesh!], but a few hairs [more than 2, less than 5] of the darker shade. What's a girl to do? Shave? Wax? Laser? Tweeze? Are you all reading this with horror? Or are you laughing? Perhaps some are commiserating??

Even though the average eye can't see these hairs, if I dare to kiss you hello, you may feel a pinch [I apologize now]. Over the course of the last 6 months, I've been [shhhh] plucking when I catch one in my 15x mirror. I also tried shaving, but that seemed a bit extreme. Since I was shaving an area that included my blond peach fuzz, wasn't I chancing stimulating unknown [over] growth. Recently, having had enough plucking and worried about future hair growth, I took myself to a local plastic surgeon's office for some laser hair removal. The aesthetician used a YAG laser to zap the areas where there was hair. Surprisingly, it wasn't too painful. Attached to the zapper was a very cold wand that she gently rubbed on the spot prior to and post zap. Afterwards, those areas were pretty red, but by the time she put on some moisturizing sunblock and I paid my bill, all the red was gone.

For those who care, I'll keep you posted as to the success of this procedure. Let me just say here and now, this aging thing sucks!! Oh, and can you please keep my hirsutism a secret? Thanks!

Quote of the day: "I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy, and driven." Barbra Streisand

#91 A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

2010-03-02T12:13:00.015-05:00

My very good friend recently lost a lot of weight. He'd been carrying these extra pounds around for some time, and although it bothered him, he was unable to lose it all, and when he did lose some, he was unable to keep it off. Somehow, somewhere he dug deep down and got back on the "I want to be healthy wagon". Below, he shares his personal journey.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words... and more than a few pounds!

After I attended a Halloween party this past October, I experienced one of my more embarrassing moments of recent times. As is often the case, my wonderful hosts circulated amongst their guests, camera in hand, snapping away to memorialize the evening's festivities. Seeing as I was fair game, a few choice photos were taken of me having a great ole time. The trouble came afterwards, when much to my shock and dismay their photos were, like so many photos are these days, posted on Facebook for the world to see. Oh My God! To say I looked awful would be an understatement! Not only did I look bad, I looked HUGE! No, I WAS huge -- distorted, bloated, and unhealthy looking! Sadly, it wasn't an unflattering angle or bad lighting that could be blamed.

I was, for the first time in a good long while, being slapped in the face with a reality I had been aware of, but had chosen to avoid, ignore, minimize and downplay. Because of this photo, I had to admit to myself that I could no longer pretend I looked or felt o.k. I finally had to admit how acutely aware of being FAT I really was. I also had to admit just how damned tired of it I was as well. This extra weight had been screaming at me from my waistline, tight shirts, bad back and wobbly knees for a good long while, but now there was a bull horn in my face announcing full tilt from the pixels of my computer monitor... You are FAT!

I hated that moment, I really, really hated it. I felt the "weight" of acknowledgment come down on me like the infamous anvil falling from the sky to crush the coyote. I had a palpable sense of anger -- at myself -- for allowing my body to go from its normal 153 pounds to a whopping 224 pounds. Did I actually do that? Did I gain 71 pounds? How could this have happened? How?

I know the answer. We all know the answer! I ate, and I ate, and then I ate some more. I won't go into detail about what or when or why. That's a whole other story. What I will say is this: It was fun while it lasted, but not fun enough to be worth this harsh reality.

As is true with many things in life, irony was afoot. While at the same time I was experiencing the frustration, embarrassment and anger of this reality, I was simultaneously having an epiphany. Now I don't know about you, but I love a good epiphany. This doesn't happen very often, but what a wonderful thing when it does. And so it was, that within seconds of feeling so dark, down, overwhelmed and just plain lousy with myself and my situation, I was given the wonderful gift of resolve. Seeing myself in that place, knowing that I did not have to be there and feeling an overwhelming sense of being sick and tired of being overweight, crystallized within me the desire, determination and motivation to make a u-turn right then and there to get myself on track to lose the weight. I found that by eating very, very low carbs and mostly protein, I was able to stop the cravings and slowly [like over the last 4 months] lose the weight.

And that is exactly what I did and continue to do. As of this writing I have lost exactly 30 pounds, which I find totally amazing and am so grateful for! The weight loss and the way I feel are both wonderful motivators, just in themselves, to keep me on track to my goal. So, no matter what it is that motivates you, find it, hold on to it, and use it to force you to do what it is that you really want to accomplish. I hate the weight loss process, but I hated being exposed as a great big fatty on Facebook even more! Thank G-d for vanity!

Quote of the Day: “If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.” Lewis Carroll

#90 The 20 Best...

2010-02-24T20:05:00.006-05:00

On my AOL home page today, there was a link to an article on the 20 best moments in women's health. Here they are listed below:

1. The (modern) tampon - 1929
2. The Pap smear - 1941
3. Mastectomy loses stigma - Shirly Temple Black revealed that she'd had a mastectomy and helped lift the disease's stigma, 1972
4. The epidural is born - 1940s
5. The Pill - U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved the Pill as a safe form of birth control. Forty-eight years later, it’s the most popular form of reversible birth control, 1960
6. Tubal ligation - until 1969, a woman couldn’t elect to have her tubes tied unless she fit a formula—her age multiplied by the number of children she’d delivered had to equal 120 or more. (What that means: If you were 30 years old, you would have to have had four kids before a doctor would have agreed that you’d done your share of "women’s work" and sterilized you, unless another pregnancy would have posed a health risk.) But in 1970, tubal ligation got the green light for all and is now the leading method of birth control.
7. Body Talk - before 1970 there weren’t any good resources. That year a group of Boston women published a stapled-together booklet—the precursor to Our Bodies, Ourselves. The book is now in its 8th edition
8. Body Talk for Girls too - Author Judy Blume writes about periods, flat chestedness, masturbation, and sex in Are You There God? It's Me Margaret, 1970s
9. Edith Bunker's change - menopause "goes public" on TV, 1972
10. Billie Jean King wins - she beats self-proclaimed male-chauvinist pig and ex–tennis champ Bobby Riggs. Coming on the heels of Title IX—which mandated that female athletes be given the same resources on a college level as male athletes—her win encouraged more women to go out for sports, 1973
11. The sports bra - Lisa Lindahl, a female grad student, (with the help of two classmates) sews together two jock straps for bounce-free jogging
12. Betty Ford opens up - about her addiction to pain killers and alcohol, 1978
13. Demi poses pregnant - she posed in Vanity Fair showing that you can be both sexy and pregnant, 1996
14. Marge Simpson makes Me Time - Marge loses it from stress and shows women that they are not alone, 1992
15. Trials include women - women are finally part of pharmaceutical trials, 1993
16. U.S. World Cup win - Brandi Chastain rips her shirt off after winning the women's world soccer cup against China, 1999
17. Kathleen Turner bares all - at 45 she goes nude on the London stage as Mrs. Robinson in the Graduate, 2000
18. Katie's colonoscopy - Katie Couric brings attention to colon cancer by having her colonoscopy on live tv, 2000
19. Post-baby bodies
20. HPV vaccine emerges

Of these 20, I can say that the following have "affected" me:

Number 1 [praise the lord!!! wearing a mattress between my legs was worse than cramps and breast tenderness as far as I was concerned], 2 [no news is good news], 4 [PRAISE THE LORD!!!], 5 [have just gone off for good last week], 7 [I owned this book and learned much from it], 8 [my synagogue in NY banned Are You There God? It's Me Margaret because of a parent complaint in 1975, just after I read it. I didn't get what the big deal was.], 9 [sadly or happily, depending on my mood {lol}, this is beginning to affect me], 10 [well, I've never and will never play professional tennis, however, it is my favorite sport to play as well as watch], 11 [I've worn one or two of these in my larger days], 13 [I'll admit that I have an almost nude photo of me pregnant with my first, and no, I don't look like Demi], 17 [that age is behind me], 18 [this test is just around the corner].

Thankfully, #3 hasn't personally affected me, but in the past couple of years, many of my close friends and acquaintances have gone through some type of breast cancer procedure[s].

Number 6, also thankfully, I haven't had to experience this because my wonderful husband took care of it from his end. Ironically, about 3 years after his operation, I went back on the pill to help with two new problems; adult acne and a period that didn't know if it was coming or going.

Number 12 - Well we all know what I'm addicted to..... it's dark and sweet and fattening in the quantities I like to have.....

Somehow, #14 never really affected me. I mean we all get stressed, but I've always been very good about making time for me. However, I feel stressed most when, truthfully, my "me time" is thwarted -- usually because of a sick child, canceled school, weather conditions, etc.

Number 19 - Still dealing, and I'm 17 years postpartum.
Number 20 - I have a 14 year old daughter... need I say more??

Anyone else want to share? If so, please go to "comment" at the bottom of this blog and write your comment. Or, you can email or facebook me and I'll post it for you.

Quote of the Day "You don't want to Mess with Anusara Girls" John Friend, Founder of Anusara Yoga

#89 EAT STOP EAT

2010-02-23T13:28:00.008-05:00

As someone who is always looking to learn new ways to improve upon my person [that's inside and out], I follow a number of blogs. One of my favorite blogs is, Watchyourtrainerblog.com; His topics are interesting and he gives great no-nonsense advice. In the blog post that I'm going to share below, Darren talks about a "fat loss" program called EAT STOP EAT. If you want to lose weight, this program will obviously help you, but the true objective of this program is to lose fat.

Below, I copy-pasted his last blog entry to share with you. If anyone decides to buy the book, google or give this program a try, please let me know what happens. I think I'll give it a shot... What have I got to lose?

==================================================

Here’s the secret to fat loss… burn more calories than you consume and add in some resistance training. It is just that simple. I am about to make it even more simple for you to lose fat. Have you ever heard of the term fasting? Nah… it doesn’t mean running around in a hurry all day. It means giving up food for periods at a time. You probably have heard of it in a religious sense, as many religions advocate fasting for cleansing the body and gaining spiritual clarity. Intermittent fasting can also help you with your fat loss goals, and it can make it very easy. Recently, I have been using a program that incorporates fasting and have been enjoying some amazing results!

Brad Pilon pioneers a program called Eat Stop Eat and has helped many people reach their fat loss goals. I picked up a copy of Brad’s book out of curiosity and was amazed at what I found. In the book, Brad strikes down the myth that you will lose muscle if you don’t eat and your metabolism will slow down. On the contrary, the opposite is true. When you resistance train, your body goes through various changes, but the biggest one is that it starts to secrete growth hormone. Guess what your body does when you fast? Yup…. it secretes growth hormone. In addition to this, because your body does not have the constant influx of food, it will then begin to burn fat as fuel! This makes it easier for you to lose the unwanted body fat you have been storing.

I bet I know what is going through your mind right now. You are thinking, “there is no way I can give up food”. I thought the same thing when I read his book. In this program, you only have to give up food for two non-concurrent days. What does this mean? You might fast from 1:00 pm on Monday until Tuesday at 1:00 pm, then you can eat a sensible healthy meal. You are not finished yet! You’ll need to pick one more day you want to fast in the same week. Since we picked Monday, let’s do Friday at 1:00 pm to Saturday at 1:00 pm. You are now finished for the week. What did this do? You have just created a caloric deficit which is what you need to lose fat. It was just that simple. Oh, I forgot to tell you, you can drink water. I would advise you to drink plenty of it on the program. I can tell you this program works and I don’t endorse anything I don’t use myself. I have experienced my goal of losing fat, but here are some additional benefits I have experienced with this program:

Ability to get more done - Did you know most of our time is spent thinking about what to eat, where we are going to eat, and what we are going to cook? For two days out of the week I don’t have to worry about doing this! I can concentrate on the tasks at hand and enjoy more free time.

Clarity - I am able to think more clearly.

Convenience – I don’t have to worry about packing lunch, making breakfast, or dinner.

==================================================

Quote of the Day: "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson, author

PS. As Darren says, he is not promoting this fat loss program, just sharing. Me too.

#88 - The Stomach Bug That Really Bugged Me

2010-02-22T15:10:00.002-05:00

Here is the irony in life. For the last ten days, I have had some sort of "itis" in my intestines and have gained 6 pounds. Who has a stomach virus and gains weight?

For the first four nights of my illness, I hardly got any sleep. Intermittently, I would be awakened with terrible [as can only be described as] intestinal "spasms". If I ate some saltines, like 5 or 6, popped some Tums, and laid on my stomach, the pain would subside enough for me to go back to sleep. During the day my stomach was sour and not its usual self... except for one aspect. I still had my same good appetite, and no matter what I ate, nothing spewed from above or below. The only thing that I stayed away from was coffee because that seemed to intensify the acid tummy, and I also figured out that my stomach felt best when it was filled, and filled with toast, hot cereal, crackers, and such. I'm assuming that's why the spasms were worse during the night... no food. Interestingly, during the whole 10 days, I never had any fever, chills or other symptoms.

Anyway, by the fifth day, I finally called my doctor. I told him what was going on and he said that he was surprised I didn't have any other symptoms besides pain, but that I should come in the next day [day 6] to get a check up. Low and behold, night 5 was pretty uneventful as far as the spasms were concerned. I did wake up at 3 a.m. with very strong hunger-like pains, but chalked that up to getting better. I took two shots of Mylanta, choked back a few saltines, and went back to sleep. I called the doc the next morning and told him I thought I was on the road to recovery. He said, let's keep in touch.

On nights 6, 7, 8 and 9, I've been awakened with those strong hunger-like pains, but no spasms, and the day-time sour stomach left on day seven. I was on the phone with my girlfriend sharing my stomach woes when she told me that my illness sounded just like something she had a few years ago, and that by day five, she was at the doctor's office getting scoped -- meaning that a tube was put down her throat and through her intestines to see what was wrong. Either I have a greater tolerance for pain, or a greater fear of getting scoped, but either way, she said they found nothing and that it took a good 10-11 days for her to finally feel like her stomach was back to normal.

Needless to say, she lost a lot of weight... which she didn't need to lose in the first, second or third place. Life just isn't fair sometimes. I, who has an iron stomach and never gets stomach problems, finally gets a stomach virus, and instead of losing weight and my appetite, I gained both.

#87 Ephiphany 101

2010-02-15T08:05:00.007-05:00

I'm on my daily power walk the other day and I ask my walking partner du jour how her sister in law is doing [about 2 months ago she had a heart attack (at 47) and during her recuperation and perhaps because of her age, health status, and family she had an epiphany]. My friend says that she's doing well and that she's planning on calling her because it's been about 10 days since they spoke and she wants to see if she's still in "epiphany mode".

That got me thinking......Why do we get inspired or epiphanized and then forget or fall off the proverbial wagon? What happened between the OMG and a day later? A week later? A month later? What can we do to hold onto that feeling so that we don't lose it? Well, to help you and me, I came up with some ideas.

First, you need to share your ah ha with someone[s]. Second, you need to remind yourself of that ah ha by leaving yourself notes, phone messages, unwritten signs [like a red ribbon on your pantry door], meaningful books, etc. Third, if your epiphany is about weight, leave your favorite jeans or bathing suit out of the closet and make a schedule of trying them on [like every Monday].

And last, make a pact with someone[s]. Ask them to call, text or email you every 2 days with the specific question: How are you are doing? This way if the feeling is there, but beginning to wane, a chit chat may re-inspire you. She/He can remind you about your ah ha and how good you felt at that time. Also a short review of the conversation you both had at the time of your ah ha may kick start your puttering motor. Pick someone you feel comfortable talking to. Someone who doesn't mind making and/or receiving the calls.

Whomever you chose to share your feelings with will be the person [or are the people] that will hopefully get you back on track. Good luck and never give up!

Quote of the Day: "I cannot live without eating spaghetti every day!" Sophia Loren

#86 Miss Daisy Does Not Drive My Car

2010-02-07T09:01:00.018-05:00

I drive the way I live. Perhaps it's not the best way to live, or for that matter drive, but this is how it is for me. I expect people to do what they are supposed to do, ie stop at the red light, send a thank you note, yield at the yield sign, don't cut in line, etc. As I tell my kids, though, expecting something doesn't mean it will always happen, and so we need to be prepared.

I tell them to wear their seat belts and to bring an umbrella when it looks like rain. Being prepared and ready in both scenarios is smart and safe. However, being prepared doesn't mean being scared. I don't live or drive on the defensive, but I'm not a bully either. My foot may come off the accelerator when traffic patterns change, but it doesn't mean that I automatically break.... I hover. I wait and see. I am cautiously watchful in and out of the car. I keep on moving and doing what is expected, but with my eyes open -- always ready and alert, but not constantly worried. As in driving, like life, when I see an opening I take it. And as my friends and family will attest, there isn't too much hesitation in my personality on or off the road.

I sometimes get impatient and pass a car or honk when someone isn't doing what they are supposed to do. As long as you are polite and not hurtful, I think it's fine. When I drive, I am constantly aware of my surroundings. The same goes when I am walking alone. This is what I teach my kids, be prepared, don't be scared. In the same vein, if my car goes out of control on an icy patch, I don't panic. I slowly turn the wheel into the skid and gently apply my brakes. When life feels out of my control, I don't panic or "lose it" either. I deal. When I hurt myself or feel sick, I take care of me and try not to let things escalate. Same with my car. I don't wait until the problem is unmanageable.

On the other hand, my love life has been lived more as Speed Racer than Driving Miss Daisy. There was no speed limit as far as I was concerned, and more times than not, I ran the yellow instead of slowing down. Only in emergency situations did I ever apply the brakes. I have wished on many occasions that I had used my brights to get a better look at some of the lemons I dated. I've had many scrapes, dents and knocks, but thank goodness, no crashes. When I drive, I make sure that my seat is comfortable and that I am comfortable. I can't say that about all my relationships. On a few occasions, I should have just stepped away from the "car" when I had the chance, but in the game of love, sometimes that left turn is just too tempting. When I met Marc and we started dating, it was like driving on a nice new road - no bumps or pot holes.

And so, I have learned lessons in life that help me drive and lessons driving that help in life. When my kids were toddlers, we drove to the airport to pick up my parents. Unbeknownst to me, the airport had just gone through a major renovation and I wasn't sure where the short term parking was. It was also nighttime, which made it even more difficult. As I was driving slowly and tapping my brakes, a truck pulled up behind me and started to ride my rump. After a few more minutes, I decided to forget short term parking and just drive around. I followed the sign that said "turnaround back to airport". It was at this moment that life and driving lessons came together. The truck driver was so impatient at this point that he pulled out from behind me into the right lane, sped past me, and tried to make the light as it turned yellow. A car jumped their green light going the other way and the trucker had to slam on his brakes. It was a very close call. When I pull up next to him, I opened my passenger window. He opened his and I could tell that he was about to yell at me. I was quicker. I told him that I was sorry for driving so slowly, but that it was my first time at the renovated airport and I was having trouble locating the short term parking. I watched his whole personality change before my eyes. He listened to what I said and very nicely told me that I needed to follow the road ahead back to the airport, and then took the time tell me where the parking entrance was. I waved, said thank you, and apologized again. He told me not to worry and to have a good time with my parents, and then, to my surprise he waved me in front of him.

Be nice and don't pick fights... on and off the road.

Quote of the Day: "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life we have waiting for us" Joseph Campbell

#85 Pennsylvania License Plate - Y M I FAT

2010-02-03T08:41:00.008-05:00

I saw a license plate a few weeks ago that said "Y M I Fat". Well, I thought, that's putting it right out there. I also thought that it was quite obvious "Y U R Fat". The simple answer is -- because you eat too much. Ah, but if it were only so simple. You then have to ask, Y Does 1 Eat Til Fatness? And still one more question -- Y go 2 food in the 1st place?

Why do I get fat and/or gain weight? Because I eat too much, and I eat too many foods with high calories. But the question I always ask myself is WHY do I eat too much, and eat foods with high calories? What is it that is going on in my life that takes me to this place over and over ad nauseam? When I asked my son, "Why do you eat"? He responded, "Duh, because I'm hungry". Duh! Wrong person so ask.

I shared this Y M I Fat scenario with my friend Donna, sister to the Y M I Fat struggle. We discussed this topic and decided to delve into the reasons people use food - which leads them to eat when they're not hungry - which leads to becoming overweight/fat/obese. We decided to do a mini survey and ask people we know, those who struggle with food issues and those who do not, the same the question: Why do you eat.

So, Why Do You Eat was asked over and over. We also explained right after asking the question, what I was working on so that they would understand that this question was "loaded".

Here are the answers received from those with food issues; No real surprises here. "I go to food and/or chose to eat beyond full because I am":

unhappy, bored, depressed, have no will power to stop myself once started, want everything on the buffet so start out with - a little of everything - which turns out to be a lot of food, force of habit, it's my "cigarette", how I relax/de-stress, angry, "go to drug" to take care of all emotional ills, pissed at someone or something, just because I don't know what else to do with myself, it tastes so good I don't want to stop, it's salve on the wound, worried it won't be there tomorrow/next time I want it, want it out of the house so that I won't be tempted

Here are the answers received from those without food issues. There was really nothing surprising here either. "I go to food and/or chose to eat beyond full because I am":

trying to satisfy a need for a certain flavor/satisfy a craving, likes the way it looks, curious about the taste, because it's there [like dessert], depressed, force of habit, because it's time to eat, sense memory, ie smell of it takes me back to a time...

I recently read an article by Marcelle Pick, MD. She said, "I absolutely know that craving [processed] sugar or binging on sugar is not a reflection of your willpower or your individual strength. It most likely has physical roots,..." She believes that most overeating problems stem from hormonal or chemical imbalances in your body. Once those are in check, and your emotional wellness is balanced, your problems should be gone. Ok, I'll buy that. I also know that if you stop eating sugar for 3-4 days, the craving for it should stop. I believe this, and know it for a fact, but what happens if I have an emotional hiccup during this time? Will I not "go to something sweet" because the craving is no longer there? I don't think so. I think habit trumps "no longer craving" when it comes to this scenario. I could be wrong, and will happily admit it, but I think I'm right. I also think with lots of time, help and work, this habit can be changed, and the stream of events that lead you to the craving and then eating can be broken.

While writing this and talking with Donna, we both pretty much came to the same conclusion - it's critical to tease out the specific emotions and their underlying causes that are driving your food habits and choices. We are not saying, take the enjoyment out of eating, but rather go back to enjoying. Use food for sustenance rather than support. In talking to a number of non-food attached people, it seems that they are able to intellectually link negative feelings, like bloat, belly ache, headache and self disgust with over eating. Even those people who once had a "bad" relationship with food and now don't, were able to do this. Somehow they were able to get to that place where they started to 'eat to live and not live to eat'. Dr. Pick says, if you can find balance through quality nutrition and emotional wellness, one's cravings should start to shift away from "quick fixes" like sugar.

Wouldn't that be blissful?!!?!?

Quote of the Day: "We seesaw between extremes, either over-analyzing our diets or berating ourselves for finishing an entire pint of Chubby-Hubby in one sitting" Anna Jane Grossman, author

#84 The Ten Day Master Cleanse That Lasted Only Five

2010-01-22T14:50:00.021-05:00

On Monday January 18th, I started The Master Cleanse. Why? Well, because in the 2 weeks since New Years, I have eaten food that I haven't touched in years. My poor arteries were probably wondering why I was punishing them. My skin, too, was asking the same question. My blue jeans, that I discarded for black sweat pants, were missing my flabby white ass, and my belly and ankles were swollen and bloated. Don't think I'm being hard on myself. I didn't just eat "bad" food, I ate in quantity... with relish, loads of guilt, and a smidgen of concern for my health or weight!! So, we come back to WHY.... I wish I knew. Really!

I've been down this road before. I know sooner or later somethings gotta give. I look for signs.... hopefully sooner rather than later.

Ta Da! I was perusing my facebook one night when I noticed a yoga buddy's status: "I am now eating solids". Thinking that she was sick or maybe had surgery, I wrote her a note. She responded that she was fine, but had just completed a 10 day cleanse; The Master Cleanse. She went on to explain what the cleanse was, how it is done, and how she felt during and afterwards. I knew that this was what I needed, a good detox [and a kick in the pants]. Better yet, talk about getting a sign... I'm in Whole Foods to buy the ingredients. I can't get service on my iphone to read the email where the ingredients are listed, so I go sit on some boxes by the front door to wait for my phone to find service. While sitting there, I look to my left and realize that I'm sitting on the display for the Master Cleanse. All the ingredients I need are right there, plus a booklet explaining how to do the cleanse.

When I told my dear friend Hilary about taking on this cleanse, she told me she would be there everyday to support me, and she was. Each day I received a text that used the word FAST to make other words.

DAY ONE -

F riends
A lways
S often
T roubles

I started the day with the recommended tea (a laxative) and drank my lemonade mix, some mint tea, and water throughout the day. Took Iggy for a long walk. No lack of energy. I finished the day with the recommended tea (laxative) again. Did you know that they make a laxative tea that tastes like chocolate? Headache started around 4:00 pm. Otherwise the day wasn't too awful.

DAY TWO

F inest
A ss
S imply
T errific

Same as day one, not too bad. Took Iggy for a long walk. Headache still present, a 9.8 on a scale of ten. Probably detoxing from sugar, caffeine, nutrasweet, etc. I told you I was toxic. I finally took Tylenol around midnight because the headache was still visiting, and because I was exhausted from my lack of sleep on the first night. This was due in part to my constant trips to the bathroom, and then having a hard time falling back to sleep because of the headache.

DAY THREE

My best guy friend Michael chimed in with a ditty of his own for this day.

F at
A ss
S ays
T ata

Do you think he meant mine or just in general fat ass? Down 5 lbs. Headache gone. Took a 75 minute tennis clinic... kinda sluggish after the first 45 minutes. Realized that I hadn't pooped since Sunday [laxative tea not working??] and dreaded the "sea salt flush" the booklet recommends for moving the sludge through the pipes. Interestingly, my belly didn't feel uncomfortable. Went food shopping for the family because I'm not cooking this week. Truth be told, that was a little difficult. Luckily, my family was so busy during the week that there was never one night where we had a sit down meal. Took Iggy for a walk with friend Marcy, and then went to the mall to keep my mind off food. We both did a little monetary damage. Ah, retail therapy. Drank the salt water flush. Some stomach gurgling, but that's it. Slept like a baby...in between poking Marc to stop his snoring.

DAY FOUR

F ly
A way
S tupid
T acos

Took Iggy for a walk before 12:30 tennis game. Felt fine on the walk. Played contract tennis for 75 minutes... not feeling my usual chippy self. Came home and wham! Salt water flush worked, but about 12 hours after it was supposed to. I'll spare you the details, but I will tell you it wasn't a pleasant experience. Down another 3 pounds. Since my belly and ankles were really [respectively] bloated and swollen before I started the cleanse, I'm sure that 6 lbs were water and the rest were weight. No matter. I felt so much better than I did on Sunday. Ankles back to normal, skin beginning to respond, and no tummy bloat. No headache. Thought about food... a lot. I'm not a big drinker so trying to get in the recommended amount of the lemonade mix was difficult.

DAY FIVE

F limsy
A rms
S tart
T rouble

Took Iggy for a long walk. Felt like a slug, but at the same time the cold weather was invigorating. Down 1 more pound. Decided that a 10 day cleanse is just not gonna happen for me. Made the decision to make day five the last day - for two reasons. First, we had made dinner plans with another couple for Saturday night and I didn't want to cancel. Second, I also didn't want to drink my lemonade mix while sitting in a restaurant. I know these were not the best excuses for ending this torture, but they worked for me. The book says to break the fast with orange juice and fruit. I had my morning Smooth Move Tea [it never did "move" me], drank watered down orange juice and had some berries. I drank the lemonade concoction throughout the day and ate some more berries and a 1/2 of a banana. I went to bed that night looking forward to chewing things with more substance on Saturday.

SATURDAY [now that I'm off the cleanse, Hilary's support is gone and her true colors come out... that's why I love her!]

F laccid
A ppendages
S o
T ragic

Down a half pound more. Mint tea, 1/2 banana, and a handful of blueberries, blackberries and raspberries for breakfast. Although wanting coffee, I wasn't too sure my belly was ready, and it's also not part of the "break-fast protocol". I had some plain chicken late in the morning and plain white rice [Chinese leftover from my non-cooking week] mid afternoon. Drank water and tea most of the day. Decided to "coat" my belly with a small piece of gluten free toast before going out to dinner -- where I asked the chef to steam a piece of fish for me. After dinner, I started feeling human again, although a little guilty for cutting the cleanse short. On the other hand, that's why God gave me teeth.... to chew.

As I write this babble, I'm trying to tell myself that from this day onwards, I need to remember what it feels like to be so bloated and unhappy in both a physical and emotional way. Darn, I should have taken pictures.

And my own little ditty to end this babble....

F ood
A bstinence
S omewhat
T ollerable

Note: I am not explaining how the cleanse should be done, nor advocating it. I'm just sharing my experience. If you want information on the cleanse, you can google numerous sites or go to www.themastercleanse.com

Quote of the Day: "I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?" Author Unknown

#83 Think Ahead

2010-01-22T10:50:00.008-05:00

This morning I commented on a blog post from one of the bloggers I follow. For privacy sake, I won't name her blog.

Her post:

"Yesterday I hauled my round body onto my treadmill and ran for about 20 minutes. I do not like feeling so out of shape. And those 20 minutes were NOT fun. I pretty much felt like crap on a cracker. It was a busy day, so I was happy that I made the time for even a short workout, and felt like I finally got started in the right direction."

My Response:

I know the struggle. So many other things call my name to keep me from my morning exercise, but what gets me there is knowing how good it feels afterwards. Plus, I feel so sluggish and guilty later in the day if I don't exercise in the morning. Maybe you should think about "later" instead of "now". I know that's against all the "fads" out there, like the whole "be present" thing. But, perhaps this is one instance where looking ahead in time might just work. Hey, as I write this, I'm thinking that maybe I'll use this thought process when it comes to eating. When I want to eat, I'll think about how it makes me feel later. Hahahahahah, no really, I'm going to really make the effort and try this. Good luck to you and good luck to me too.

Quote of the Day: "Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." Truman Capote

#82 Vacationing on a Full Stomach

2010-01-13T21:39:00.020-05:00

Whenever I talk to my friends who don't have food issues, I am reminded that they live their lives pretty much the way I do, except that food doesn't "get in the way" for them. What I mean is, my non food-challenged friends do all this -- exercise 4-7 days a week, think about their health, leave food on their plates, eat slowly, and more often than not, eat well -- without letting food throw them off their game. However, vacations are another story. Where I worry about eating too much on vacation, they go away knowing that they will over indulge. They also know that they will easily deal with those [potential] extra pounds after arriving back home. Notice that word 'easily'.

I wasn't really hip to the idea of "activity" vacations when Marc and I started vacationing together. Why? Because I was the person who wanted to lie in the sun on my cushy lounge chair, drink diet coke [I'm not good with the alcohol, heat and sun combo], and read a book. The only exercise I expected to partake in was rolling over every 30 minutes or so as not to burn any body parts.

Meeting Marc changed the way I vacation... for the better. Our vacations are always wonderful and interesting and I am worry-free about eating because our days, or parts of our days, are filled with activities. Our first vacation together was to the island of Nevis. When we went, back in 1990, there were about 4 or 5 hotels on the island. No cars were allowed, except the random taxi to move and your luggage from the water where you arrived via tiny plane or ferry. This meant that one needed to walk everywhere. Since our hotel, the Golden Rock Inn, was at the top of a small mountain, going anywhere on the island ended in an exhausting climb back to our beautiful paradise. We did a lot of sight seeing, played tennis, and swam a lot. The food was fresh and yummy, and because of our activity level, I ate without worry. Nope, I don't think I'll ever say "I ate with abandon".

Since that vacation, we've gone on a number of vacations ["holidays" to my non-American readers] where our mornings were spent in strenuous and demanding tennis clinics, leaving our afternoons for relaxing, sightseeing and shopping. Last summer, our vacation was a little open as to the exercise. We biked around Cape Cod, played tennis on courts placed so that you could see the ocean, and walked round-trip from our hotel to town [2+ mile round trip] every night for dinner. As some of you know, two summers ago we went biking from Prague to Austria with 7 couples from our neighborhood. It was an amazing vacation. Once again, I was able to eat without worry. Do you know why? Many of those hills we rode were colossal, and even if I had wanted to join my Swiss friend and yodel when finally reaching the top, there was no breath left in me to do so.

However, this past Christmas/New Years holiday, our family vacation was not designed around exercise. Marc belongs to an International Dental Fraternity and every year 400-800 dental-type people and their families meet in a different venue. The dental people take courses and work on the different committees that keep the fraternity functioning. The spouses have their activities and the kids are in kids camp. If Marc and I had our druthers, we probably would have chosen to miss this year since neither one of us are 'cruisers'. It was our children who really wanted to go. Seeing that they've been going with us since their infancy, this winter trip has pretty much become the only time during the year that they get to visit with their friends from different parts of the country [as well as those friends from around the world].

You're wondering, I'm sure, where I'm going with this vacation history. Well, as you all know, My babble started as weekly emails to ladies in my women's group to help keep us all focused on eating healthy and exercising. Let me say this now.... cruising makes this very difficult. On the first day, our Cruise Director, Big Tex, announced the ship's activities over the loud speaker. He then went on to say that, "As we all know, cruising is about the food...". Really? Why????

Without having to say, you all know that I started the cruise with the best intentions: eggs and fruit for breakfast, salads with protein for lunch, a dinner with a salad to start and an allowed taste [or two] of dessert. I stayed clear of the soft serve ice cream machines, the three tiered dessert table in the middle of the "cafeteria", the midnight buffet, only drank wine with dinner, and if I went to the coffee bar, it was only coffee I ordered. By day three, I had tasted the ice cream, not too shabby, and had added a starch or two to my breakfast. Honestly, how many people can walk by french toast, waffles and pancakes daily and not be tempted?

Of course the ship did have a gym, but it was always crowded in the morning, which is when I like to exercise. My other option for exercise was the track on the top deck. I did visit this 5 of the 7 days at sea. And I'll share that when the wind was at my back, I finally ran that 10 minute mile which has alluded me my whole life.

In the end, I probably put on some poundage. However, I can't end my babble on a sour note - so here goes. On the last day of the cruise, would you believe I got sea sick?! I was pretty green most of the morning and only ate a small breakfast because, to be blunt, I was more worried about dry heaving than bringing something up if I was going to "be sick". And sick I was. Happily, I lost everything inside me from top and bottom [thankfully not at the same time because that's a logistic hell -- been there, done that.]. The next day, I was still lacking an appetite, and ate cautiously. So, drum roll please.... I came home weighing exactly the same as I did on the day we left for the cruise.

See, I told you the ending would be a happy one.

Photos: Jersey Shore; Nevis at the Golden Rock Inn; Group Bike Trip in Prague; View from the porch of the Chatham Bar Inn on Cape Cod; Marc and me on the cruise [you'd think there was enough to eat...]; Dessert on the cruise.

Quote of the Day: "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished"
Lao Tzu (author)

#81 Why I Cried When I Quit Smoking

2010-01-06T21:34:00.017-05:00

Twenty years ago I quit smoking. I did not want to quit. I loved smoking. I loved the smell and taste. I loved holding the cigarette, inhaling deeply, blowing out a long stream of smoke, and of course, making smoke-rings. Why did I start smoking? To be cool. Why did I keep smoking? Mostly because it helped me not eat. It was also something to do when I was bored or angry or lonely or tired. Why did I quit? For all the right reasons!

I truly, honestly and sincerely did not want to quit. However, working in the hospital and seeing first hand the problems, complications and deaths caused by smoking, my hand, literally, was forced. When I finally decided that I was going to stop smoking, I did some research. I knew that the majority of people who quit smoking, quit 4 and 5 times; I didn't want to be one of them. A friend recommended that I call a smoking cessation group that used "Aversive Conditioning" to help smokers quit because she had heard that their success rate was through the roof. So, I did what needed to be done, I called. After I took down all the information and made my appointment, I hung up and cried.

I knew I was going to miss smoking... a lot. I was also going to miss the effects [the good ones] of smoking. I know that's hard to believe, but for me, smoking was the perfect diet. When I felt hungry, I smoked. Smoking was also a great way to meet guys - like - excuse me, but do you have a light? Today, smoking is much less socially accepted than when I smoked. Also, when I smoked, we smokers were the majority.

Today, I am your typical X-smoker. I can't stand the smell, and if someone near me is smoking, and the area is small or confined, and they are the only person smoking, I ask them to move. I know that's rude of me, but I have to say, [most] smokers will move. Perhaps it's the way I ask, or perhaps these smokers know the dangers of second hand smoke and are being responsible. Emotionally, they're probably cursing me. Rationally, they know that they are harming themselves, and maybe they're taking the high road by trying not to harm those around them.

Why am I telling you my smoking history? Because today I read on the front page of The Philadelphia Inquirer that Widener University is "set for big smoke-out". The subtext read that by July, they will be the first area university to ban smoking both indoors and outside. Amazing... and wonderful. I hate walking out of a building into a cloud of noxious cigarette smoke because smokers have been banned from smoking inside [of course I'm glad about that too]. I'm always amazed to see people standing outside a building in the freezing cold wearing nothing more than their "outfit". I, on the other hand, am shivering in my ski parka, gloves and boots as I walk from place to place.

People who read my blog, and who smoke, might think that I'm anti smoking. Well, if you read my blog, you know that I'm pro-health; that I try to continually improve upon improving me. Over the years, that has meant giving up many things that I once loved -- like buttered popcorn at the movies, cakes and cookies with hydrogenated oil and/or transfats, diet sodas, eating late at night, and smoking. I could go on and on, but the idea is that in giving up those "vices", I feel and look better. As for my internal organs, vessels, muscles and bones, I can only hope that I didn't wait too long, and that any damage that was done from my old lifestyle and habits, has been somewhat halted and hopefully the above body parts have been returned to their original state.

One more thing.... if we know that sucking on a cigarette increases our chances [and those around us] of getting lung cancer and potentially dying, then it's a no brainer. Quitting is the only option. I read a blog today [written by a nutritionist] where the blogger shared a discussion she had with a visiting priest to her church. He had, over the past year, lost 40 pounds. She asked him what had made him shed those pounds. He confided in her that he had been diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and that this diagnosis was his wake-up call. Isn't it sad and awful that most of us need to wait for something terrible to happen to make us change? Why do we need to be knocked over the head to see the obvious?

And last... please don't feel that I'm preaching. I am one of you. I am not perfect... I fall off the wagon. However, if this rambling babble has done one thing, may it be your wake up call. Did you feel that? I just knocked you over the head. If you smoke, if you are 20+ pounds overweight, if you are not exercising, if you are drinking alcohol in quantities that are not safe or healthy, if you are texting while driving, WAKE UP!

You'll thank me one day....

Quote of the Day: "I hope to just fall over one day in the middle of a song... with a smile on my face" Dolly Parton

#80 I Survived the Quantum Cleanse

2010-01-04T09:57:00.002-05:00

Originally Posted 6/08 - A new year is always a good time to look at the way you take care of yourself. Here is a re-post of babble #11 for those of you who didn't get to read it the first time, or for those who would like to think about doing something new and good to get your year started in a clean and healthy way.

I don't get to watch Oprah as much as I would like, but I do get an email from Harpo [Oprah spelled backwards for those of you who don't know this] studios everyday telling me what's going on and what's coming up. When I read about the 21-day cleanse that Oprah was planning to start, I thought, why not. Since January, I have been struggling with a healthy 6 pounds that go away with weeks of watching my calories and then pops back on in just days. Maybe this is what I needed.

Oprah's cleanse is based on the book, The Quantum Cleanse, by Kathy Freston. It says to spend 21 days without caffeine, sugar, alcohol, gluten [wheat products] and animal proteins. I believe that somewhere in there is cutting out white flour too. I decided to go ahead and give it a try, but I also decided to keep eating egg whites, fish and chicken. I've learned from past experience that I need that kind of protein in my diet.

I brought the idea of this cleanse to my women's group, but everyone had their worries like, "No way I can give up caffeine" or my worry, "How am I NOT going to have my evening glass of red wine?". Even though nobody was willing to do this with me, I decided that 21 days isn't that much, and that at least I was allowed to eat solid food. Other cleanses I had read about were liquid or other yucky concoctions. So, lucky for me, I have a friend who keeps a dairy free/gluten free house and she took me to Whole Foods. She patiently showed me what to look for and what she has learned from hers and her family's experience. She showed me the the better gluten free breads, pizzas [remember I can't have dairy either so I needed to find one with soy cheese], etc. We got in line and $136 later I had at least 2 weeks of staples.

Day one started out well, but by 1:00 PM I had already hit a snag. I was playing in a tennis tournament and afterwards lunch was served. On the table were tuna and egg salad hoagies [mayo is a no, no], chocolate chip cookies and a fruit salad with whip cream and those yellow cake things. I was ready to let myself just go ahead and eat and start the cleanse the next day, but somewhere I found the strength and ate just the fruit salad. Truly, I don't know how I did this, but I just did.

After that meal, the rest of the three weeks was pretty easy accept for 2 instances. The first time I "fell" was when I spent two days visiting my pantry on and off looking for something. I hadn't been having any cravings after the first week and couldn't understand what was going on. I finally gave into a large bowl of ice cream and voila, the next day I got my period. It seems my body keeps track better than I do. The second time was for a birthday dinner party. The dinner was at a restaurant that doesn't use utensils [you use very thin pita bread to pick up the food] and since I was grabbing food from platters with 10 other people, I decided it would be o.k to drink some alcohol for medicinal purposes. I figured that if I drank enough the alcohol would kill any germs that my have hopped from someone's hands into the communal platter. Let me just say without getting into quantity detail, there were no bugs that could have survived in my body that evening.

Ok, so what happened to me and what did I learn over these 21 days? First, nothing changed. My skin didn't get all aglow, my pores didn't shrink and miraculously my wrinkles didn't get less wrinkled. My output [numbers one and two] stayed exactly the same, my hair didn't get shinier and thicker and my breath and body odor didn't get better or worse [at least nobody told me]. Pretty much right away I lost about 5 pounds and ranged 5-7 pounds during the cleanse.

My friend who keeps the gluten-free house had been telling me for a while that some people can't digest wheat products well and get bloated from them. Perhaps that is what happened/was happening to me. I definitely lost my belly bloat. However, what also happened was that it got warm out, and on certain days unbearably hot. My eating may have changed because of the heat. Who knows. I lost the weight and feel much better. Surprisingly I didn't miss my evening vino as much as I missed my daily Trader Joe's diet black cherry soda. And, because I continued to eat 5-6 small meals like I usually did, I wasn't really ever hungry. And, I did make myself gluten free, dairy free, egg free brownies for those moments where I really needed something sweet and fruit just wasn't going to cut it. Even though the brownies had sugar, the author of Quantum Cleanse said that quantum changes happen incrementally. Knowing that the brownies were there for me gave me such a feeling of freedom. In the past, I had never been able to keep brownies in the house without slowly polishing them off over the course of 48 hours. These survived for almost 10 days in the fridge out of site and a lot of the time out of mind.

If there is meaning to be gotten from this experience it is that I realized that I have a strong will. It's been a long time since I've taken on a challenge that needed almost a month's dedication. I've started many things in the past and have let myself down many times too. I wouldn't be telling the truth if I said I did this for reasons of health and not for weight loss, but I can truly say that what I discovered was that I am more proud of myself for sticking with this than for the pounds that I was finally able to to lose.

If you are feeling that you need to make a change for reasons of health and/or weight, or just want a challenge, but are scared of failing because of past failures, then perhaps your goals were set too high. This just might be the thing for you. Pick a number of days that you think you can handle, adapt the cleanse to your needs and allow yourself to feel victory.

Kathy Freston's Comments: External "fillers"—like soda and chips—leave you feeling empty and wanting more. Yearning, dissatisfied. To really feel substantially filled and nurtured and cared for, it has to come from something that is not outside of us.

Kathy Freston's Comments: It's okay to have a glass of wine and enjoy it. It hurts no one. This is not about deprivation, so feel no guilt. 'Leaning in' sometimes means you have to stop, take a rest and look at the view.

#79 Unconditional Love

2009-12-10T14:39:00.037-05:00

"So sad - wanted to cry, but held back the tears. I'm now onto dog number three."

The above was my email response to a blogger friend, who shared with the blogging world, the end of her dog's life. Her dog was old, in pain and infirm. My heart went out to her as only the mom of a four-legged family member can.

Zoe, our Doberman, was adopted at 8 weeks, a couple of months after Marc and I married. She was our baby. We left social engagements early and/or didn't go places because we didn't want to leave her for too long. When we chatted with other dog owners, we sounded like a bunch of proud parents one-upping each other with our "baby's" accomplishments. Zoe was with us at the beginning of our marriage, through the birth of our two children, and our moves from Washington DC to St. Louis, onto Philadelphia, and then out to the suburbs. Our first house was her first house too, and she loved roaming the 8 acres until the lots were sold and the new houses went up. Zoe died at the age of 8 from unknown causes. We came home from the movies one summer night and couldn't find her. She'd never left our property before, but I drove around the neighborhood calling her name. Meanwhile, Marc searched the property and finally found her "sleeping" in the pachysandra. I was hysterical - in the crying way. The next day we buried her; I felt empty. The day after that I came home from work forgetting that she was dead, and waited for her to run to the car. On day three post Zoe, I woke up and felt at peace. It was almost an exhilarating feeling. I can't explain it, but I felt that all would be ok.

We waited about a year before we adopted Hanna, our German Shepherd. We "saved" her through a group called Save A Shepherd. She was a sweet and wonderful dog - all 110 pounds of her. We never knew her real age or her history, but we had her for 9 years and loved every minute of it. Even her seasonal shedding and the stinky breath that came with age didn't bother me. The only problem with Hanna was that she was a true herder. When the neighborhood kids rode their bikes up our driveway, she would run next to them nipping their heels and waists while leaning into them. Sometimes those nips were closer to a good sized nibble. Needless to say, she wasn't popular with the neighborhood kids or their parents.

One day she started losing her nails. They just fell out. I googled "dogs losing finger nails" and came to a chat room where other dog owners talked about their dog's medical problems. There it was right in front of me. Hanna had all the symptoms of a neuropathic disease. Slowly over the months her back legs became numb and she started dragging her paws. We bought booties that helped her stabilize her back legs from slipping on our hardwood floors. I told Marc that the day she couldn't go to the bathroom alone would be the day we would have to say goodbye. That day came sooner than we expected. I happened to be looking out the window and saw her trying to squat, but her legs were shaking so badly she couldn't hold herself up. I ran outside and held her hind quarters while she did her business. I then helped her back into the house and called the vet to let them know that it was time. They too loved Hanna and were always telling me that she was the sweetest Shepherd they'd ever cared for.

Logan and Erica came with me that night. Erica chose to sit in the waiting room during the injection, but Logan wanted to be with Hanna and me. Putting Hanna down was a life- altering experience for me. As I sat on the floor petting her, the doctor injected the narcotics into a vein in her leg. I was looking into her eyes, telling her what a great lady she was and how we'll all miss her so much, when the light behind her eyes faded to dark. She was there one minute and poof, gone the next. With a broken heart, I watched her spark go out. It was, perhaps, the first time I wondered about the soul and questioned if the "light going out" is a chemico-physiological change or one's essence leaving the body. In my science classes, I had learned that energy just doesn't go away, it changes. Where did her energy go?

Now we're onto Iggy. He's our first boy dog, and I think if we ever get another dog, it will be a male. Females are great, but some are just too dominant and/or protective. In some dogs, the term "bitch" is truly descriptive of both personality and gender. Iggy was adopted. We saw him in a park with other dogs and cats trying to find new families. The other dogs were licking us, friendly and barking, but Iggy just stood or sat there letting us touch him, but not really responding. His ribs were sticking out and he had a terrible case of kennel cough. Somehow though, I knew he just needed love and nourishment to bring out his personality, two things we could give him in abundance. Well, let me tell you, he's just the best little guy. He's gentle and sweet and follows me all over just like the other two did, but he's mine -- I'm his alpha. He's got a little shepherd and a little golden retriever in him, so he's both smart and sweet.

Having an animal is a wonderful experience for everyone at any age. It teachers us to play when all we want is to put our feet up. Having a pet takes you... out of you. Their needs come first. I believe even Jewish law states that you must feed your animals before you feed yourself. People say I spoil my dogs. I don't think so. I give them what they want and need, and in return, they give me so much more.

Quote of the Day: "It's not how good you are, it's how good you want to be" Paul Arden, author

#78 Oh Hell, Why Bother

2009-12-10T09:33:00.013-05:00

I was talking to a friend the other day about our bodies, diets, our relationship with food, and why we do what we do. She said that she had been really happy with her eating for the past 3 weeks, but her happy place with food and eating went to the dogs after a visit with an old friend from high school. Her friend happens to be tiny. She has always been tiny. This is nothing new to my friend. My friend is a full-figured girl and will never be considered petite no matter how much weight she loses.

As I listened to her share her fall-off-the-wagon story, I realized exactly what was going on. She was going through the Why Bother Blues; that negative feeling of "look at all I've done and it still isn't enough". It's that why bother feeling, and I'll be honest here, it has pulled me into the doldrums many times when it comes to my calves and legs. No matter how much yoga, power walking, squats, weight lifting, and dieting I do, my calves will never be and have never been shapely, and truthfully, my derriere will always have a little more jiggle when I wiggle than I would like it too.

My father calls this [the calf and ankle part of the leg] the Lederer curse. My mother's mother had these legs, and my mother and 2 of her sisters have/had these legs, and now, I do too. Interestingly, I don't think any of the female cousins inherited this trait. Obviously their fathers held the dominant gene for leg shape.

I told my friend that I totally got what she was saying. We both agreed that we can't compare ourselves to others, but have to look at our bodies and see what they are capable of. This doesn't make the "why bother" feelings go away, it just sort of brings you back to what's possible and real - like a reality check. Of course, growing old and all that goes with this doesn't help matters, but if I've learned anything, it's that you can make changes to yourself at any age.

So, I guess the lesson here is that no matter how many times you've had the why bother blues, you can't give up. Call me dumb or dense, but I'm going to keep working on these legs and this body until the fat lady sings, and may that fat lady never be me again.

You know, hope springs eternal.... even at 47.

Quote of the Day: "Creative Minds are Seldom Tidy" - Author unknown

#77 Can You See the Potential?

2009-12-05T11:17:00.026-05:00

In 1995 Marc and I bought, what is now, our 257 year old labor of love.

On a cold December Sunday, we went house hunting. We had been doing this for almost a year without success, but on that morning, we saw an ad in the paper for an old farm house. Since this was just the sort of thing we were looking for, we bundled up our 2 year old son, and off we went. The minute Marc saw the house, he fell immediately in love. He had told me that if we were ever going to move out of the city [we had only ever lived in cities - DC, St. Louis and Philadelphia] that he wanted an old house with land and lots of nooks and crannies. When we called our agent Monday morning to tell her we wanted to see this house, she told Marc that what he had fallen in love with was an 8 acre estate undergoing zoning hearings to be sub-divided, and that the house was being sold - "as is". He was still in love, and without my knowing, he and the agent went to look at it during his lunch hour. He called me at work later that day and told me that he had just left the property, and that if I could sneak out of the hospital [where I was working at the time], the caretaker would be there for another hour.

So, I snuck out. I drove up the creepy, overgrown, snow-covered drive and rang the doorbell. The caretaker opened the door and invited me in. All I remember thinking was that it was colder in the house than it was outside, and that this was one SPOOKY old house. I was also thinking that perhaps I should come back with Marc, however when I turned around to tell the caretaker just that, he was gone.

I could give you a room by room walking tour, but let's leave it at this. There was mold growing up the wall in the parlor, the wallpaper in the library was brown at the seams, the rose-colored carpet in the master bedroom had nail clippings large enough for me to see without having to bend down, all the bathrooms were circa 1950's, and there were some rooms that had such a slant from settlement that I felt dizzy and off balance. The basement [which I still don't like to visit alone] was unfinished - literally. The floor was perhaps cement, but it had layers of dirt on it. There was a really old wine cellar with wood shelves filled with bottles of wine. It was dark, long, narrow, and damp. There was a well [as in water well] built into the wall at the end of the cellar, which led to underground tunnels, which led to somewhere outside my house. I later learned that Quakers owned our home and were part of the underground railroad during the Civil War. Of course, at that moment, alone in this dark basement, listening to all sorts of creaks, moans and scurryings, all I could think about was the possibility of spirits, not of the alcoholic kind, left over from the past 200 odd years. Last, but not least, the kitchen. The kitchen had a yellow linoleum floor, a sink, a fridge, an oven and a pantry. OMG, no dishwasher? There was no cabinetry and there were long fluorescent lights on the ceiling. There was a room to the left of the kitchen that was probably the servant's "hang-out". It had a toilet, the washer and dryer and an industrial sink. No dishwasher. I walked back into the kitchen and through a swinging door into what was the butler's pantry. Praise the lord, a dishwasher... and some cabinetry.

When I got back to the hospital, I called Marc, and told him I had been to the house. He asked me, "Can you see the potential?", "Did you love it?". NO! I told him. Are you crazy? Do you realize how much money we need to put into this house? Just to live in it? Not even to decorate it? Do you realize there is no central air conditioning to cool 7000 square feet and 3 stories? Do you realize that there is lead paint in almost every room? Did you see the mold? Did you see the wisteria pulling the pebble dash stucco with horse hair off the house? [which I learned is very, very, very expensive to fix and/or replace]? Did you hear the ghosts [I didn't actually ask him this one because I was too embarrassed]?

Well, guess who gave in. It's the end of 2009, and we've been living in our money pit [she came by the name honestly] for 13 years. A lot of work and love have gone into this house. Our carpenter became husband number 2 and our painter became husband #3 since they both pretty much lived here for the first 8 years. Sadly, I had to divorce our landscaper and electrician, but am now dating a new landscaper, and thinking of just having flings with an electrician. We're on very good terms with our plumbers because truthfully, they're the only ones who know how the plumbing, heating and AC systems are rigged in this place. Finally, as I sit here in the butler's pantry, now my office, I am so glad that Marc saw this home's potential. This house has allowed me to discover many things about myself that, had we not taken this chance, I may never have known. Do I have the home I dreamed of? No. Unlike Marc, I didn't have a picture of the house I wanted, but if I had been able to imagine one, my dream house wouldn't even have come close to the one we live in.

As for the ghost[s] -- after a number of nocturnal and one afternoon visit, I decided to have a little chat with him/her/them. I went into the basement [Zoe, our doberman was coaxed down with me] and told him/her/them that we loved the house, that we were going to take good care of it, that we were more than happy to share this space with them, but they had to stop their visits because it was scaring me and the kids. I also promised not to remove anything that was left in a particular place in the house. That means that the 100 year old riding boots are still sitting on the same shelf in the library as when we moved in [they do get dusted]. It's been 8 years, and so far....... I dare not say anymore in case he/she/they are reading over my shoulder.

photos:
house - 1995 - see the wisteria?
library - picture given to us by the owners who lived here from 1938 - 1995
music room - taken the day we signed all the papers - moldy and damp walls
bathroom - salmon-pink walls
wine cellar - self explanatory
butler's hang-out - we gutted and then insulated, became the playroom when the kids were little, knocked out back wall to put in french doors.
master bath - updated from original in 2004
main hall - updated from original 2006

Quote of the Day: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."- Dr. Seuss

#76 Party Crasher - Who Me?

2009-12-01T17:21:00.012-05:00

Lots of news and drama surrounding the Salahis. What a couple!! Do you think crashing parties is his thing or her's? From watching the news, it appears that Michaele is the one to stop, yank Tareq's arm, and vogue pose for the cameras. I saw her do this twice, and yet, she could have just jumped onto his wagon for the ride and got hooked. Who's ever thing this is though, it seems Tareq may be the brains of this operation. During the news clips, more times than not, his entrance is made in a straight line with head down. He seems to know that no photos should be taken until one is safely through the doors, drink in hand, laughing with the host and hostess. At this point, either way, they're both screwed.

Interestingly, I have something in common with these two Reality-TV-Star-Wanna Bees. I like to party. Well, I still like A party, but I wouldn't call myself a party girl... anymore. However, in my college and grad school days, I loved to go to parties. I also loved getting a group together to go out dancing.

More important than having my fake driver's license allowing me entrance to all drinking establishements, I had something even better. Something that a lot of other party hoppers-crashers didn't have. I had my finger on the pulse of Washington DC. Not literally, but pretty close. Back in the 80s [not sure if they still do this today] whenever the president left the White House, a secret service agent would sit in the Emergency Room. Where did I work? In the Emergency Room. If we weren't crazy busy and we had a few minutes to sit, a chit chat with the agent du jour was always interesting. Now, don't go and start getting all mad at the agent, no major secrets were divulged, but as far as what was happening in the DC, Maryland and Virginia area in terms of parties and happenings, the agent was a great source of info.

Which brings me to what I really have in common with the Salahis. I had no problem crashing parties. Of course, looking back from where I sit now, I'm appalled at my chutzpah, but back then, it was just kids being kids. Also, being in a city, surrounded by hotels, party halls, and clubs, parties were a dime a dozen. Unlike the Salahis though, my buds and I waited until the party was in full swing before smoothly moving our way in. We never stopped to get our photos taken. Actually, there was no way we wanted our photos taken... as we snuck in the back or side door.

We did this all in fun and meant no harm. I can't remember one time being found out or kicked out. It's like wearing fake jewelry. If you wear it with attitude, no one will be the wiser. And believe me, we had attitude. The only time I personally had a problem with our venue was when we snuck into a party where I was surrounded by gay men [it was for a calendar shoot]. I felt totally left out. No one asked me to dance and no one offered to buy me a drink. To make matters worse, these beautiful boys were all around me laughing and drinking and shirt-less, AND IGNORING ME.

Lesson learned: When you've been asked out by the secret service agent twice, and have said no to him on both occasions, it probably isn't a great idea to ask him where the best party in town is.

Quote of the Day: "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein

#75 Never get TOO Anything

2009-11-22T17:19:00.026-05:00

A few days ago, a number of events happened that made me sad and angry. While I was answering emails, I decided to share with a friend how I was feeling. I told her how by 9:30 a.m, my day, which had started out fine at 7:30, had quickly begun to go downhill. And, on top of being sad and angry, my body was asking for its "medicine" to try to make me feel better... which only made me more angry. Why? Because I believe I've changed and matured, but when push comes to shove, I still run back to my old way of dealing with my feelings; I push them down with food.

Well, her email response told me to HALT. Huh? Then I read on...."never get two of anything". Good advice for certain situations in the life of a foodie, but I didn't understand the context as it related to my email. However, when I re-read that sentence, what it actually said was, "never get too anything"!! Never get too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely or too Tired -- HALT.

Of course, this saying is just one of the myriad of sayings that dieters and maintainers learn. There are, not surprisingly, an infinite number of helpful "hints". Some are trite, but more often than not, most are beneficial. For example, "eat to live, not live to eat". This one is actually from Cicero, but truthfully, there are a plethora of expressions bestowed upon us from the unknown to the famous. One that I like a lot, and that works for me is - "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels". Being able to throw on a pair of jeans and walk out of the house feeling good in them is sooooo much better than any ice cream cone or chocolate bar. Honest! It's just that I have to keep reminding myself of this.

Another favorite one of mine is, "To fail to plan is to plan to fail". So true. It's a safe bet that if you go to the supermarket with a thought-out list, it won't be so easy for your shopping cart to drive off course. Also, knowing the menu ahead of time, and deciding on what to order before you get to the restaurant, is a good plan. For certain restaurants, it's sometimes smarter for me to decide beforehand so that it won't be necessary to open the menu and be tempted by all the goodies inside. This saying also works for vacations. I learned the hard way when one year I packed everyone's bathing suits and flip flops, but not mine, and I had to wear a pair of my husbands blue jeans, cinched at the waist and cuffed, until we found a store that sold clothing. Now, I start making a list a few days before packing so that I don't forget anything.

One last saying that I follow is, "If you always do what you always did you’ll always get what you always got". So true! If you want to be thinner, healthier, faster, stronger, smarter... then you need to change, add or delete. There is no other way. I once tried listening to a tape while I slept to help me learn Spanish. As you probably figured out, WASTE of TIME and MONEY!! Osmosis may work in the field of biology, but in other parts of life, nah.

I'll leave you with a few of my other favorites. I sometimes use these to pull me out of the food doldrums and help me climb back onto that damn wagon.

"It’s about progress, not perfection" ---

"A weight gain is not failure, it's feedback" ---

"What you eat in private, you wear in public" ---

Last, but one of my most favorite sayings... "If hunger ain't the problem, food ain't the answer"

Quote of the day: "Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome" Booker T. Washington

#74 Thanksgiving Dinner

2009-11-16T17:04:00.015-05:00

This year, we are going to be a relatively [no pun intended] small group for Thanksgiving. Besides my candy corn fix at Halloween, my next favorite food fix is stuffing and cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving.
This year, I am having my folks, my sister, her husband, my niece and nephew, an aunt and an uncle and my cousin [Annie, the famous author of OBSOLETE]. That makes for 13 of us, which is a nice number, and one that my round dining room table can hold comfortably.

In this babble, I'm going to share my Thanksgiving menu. After my last posting, Passionless in the Kitchen, I received a number of emails, phone calls, and comments about my cooking. Thank goodness, I continue to be my worst critic. So then, below you will find what I plan to serve [with my mom's help] for our holiday meal.

Pumpkin Soup [but of course!!!]
this recipe feeds 20

2 large onions halved
1/2 cup margarine
1 tsp curry powder [spicy and more if you prefer]
4 cups canned pumpkin [not pumpkin pie filling]
3 tsp salt [start with 1 tsp and work your way up as needed for taste]
4 cups of 2% milk (can use cream, half and half ) [My lactose-intolerant friend recommends soy milk. Since I've never used soy milk, I can't guarantee the outcome)
5 cups chicken broth

Saute onion in butter or margarine until limp
Sprinkle with curry powder
Process pumpkin, onions and salt [don't make it too fine]
Pour into pot
Cook very slowly for 1 hour
Serve hot

Parmesan-Butternut Squash Gratin
this recipe feeds 6

1 butternut squash [2 1/2 lbs]
1/4 cup of butter or margarine
2 large garlic cloves, finely chopped
1/4 cup panko bread crumbs
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

Heat oven to 375F. Spray 13x9 inch glass baking dish with cooking spray. Peel, halve lengthwise and seed squash; cut into 1/2 inch thick slices. Arrange with slices overlapping slightly in baking dish.

In 2-quart saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Reduce heat to low. Add garlic; cook 2-3 minutes, stirring frequently until garlic is soft and butter is infused with garlic flavor. Do not let butter brown.

In small bowl, mix bread crumbs, cheese and 1 tablespoon of the butter-garlic mixture. Brush squash slices with remaining butter-garlic mixture. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and bread crumb mixture.

Bake uncovered 30 to 40 minutes or until squash is tender when pierced with fork. Increase oven temperature to 425F, bake 5-10 minutes longer or until lightly browned. Before serving, sprinkle parsley over top.

Garlic Sauteed String beans [I grew up with, and love, the string bean casserole with cream of mushroom soup and fried onions, but it's not as healthy as this, and truthfully, my kids prefer this to that].

Fresh string beans
Boil until al dente
Throw into wok with olive oil and minced garlic Wok for about 10 minutes stirring quickly [do this close to serving time]
Let sit for a few before serving

Sweet Potato Marshmallow Casserole [not so healthy, but yummy]
this recipe feeds 6

5 med. sweet potatoes (peeled, cooked and mashed)
1/3 c. milk
3 tbsp. brown sugar
2 tbsp. sugar
2 tbsp. melted butter
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1 c. miniature marshmallows

Combine all ingredients except marshmallows, mixing well. Spoon into a lightly greased 1 1/2 quart casserole.
Cover and bake at 375°F. for 30 minutes. Uncover, sprinkle with marshmallows and bake another 5 minutes.

Turkey with Stuffing

I am very traditional about my turkey and stuffing. I add mushrooms, celery, salt and pepper to Pepperidge Farm stuffing, and follow the directions on the bag. That's it. Once everything is mixed together, inside the bird it goes. Of course, all of it can't go into the bird, so after the turkey is cooked, the stuffing is removed and placed on top of the non-bird cooked stuffing and into the oven it goes to steal some of the juices and flavor from the stuffed stuffing. About gravy... I've never made it. My mom always does that part, but I know it involves taking the innards of the turkey [neck and other parts], cooking them on the stove top for awhile in water, cutting and mixing them with left over cooked turkey juices, adding some flour and maybe some water and heating and stirring so the gravy isn't lumpy. Not sure about the rest - she hasn't answered my email [she's probably playing mahjong] and I want to post this evening.

Cranberry sauce

From the can. My favorite part of the whole dinner. Just kidding, but I love this stuff and pretty much only eat it on this holiday.

Desserts
My wonderful sister, who is a very good and talented baker, will be bringing desserts this year. She did tell me that one of the desserts she's making are sugar cookies in the shape of a triangle, with the cookie batter dyed to orange and the tip dipped in vanilla frosting. Can anyone guess what these look like? I'll give you a hint.... it's my Halloween candy nemesis!

HAPPPY THANKSGIVING

Quote of the Day: As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." John F. Kennedy

#73 I'm Passionless... in the Kitchen

2009-11-10T12:52:00.018-05:00

I think I'll write a book; The Passionless Cook.

On October 31st, we had our quasi annual Halloween party, and I decided to serve pumpkin soup as one of the hors d'oeuvres. It's my father-in-law's recipe, and I'll be honest, I've made this soup a number of times, and it never tastes as good as his.

Most people don't know this about me, but I have little confidence in the kitchen. I'll admit, I make some pretty yummy challah french toast, and I'm amazing on the grill with salmon and steak, but besides those two endeavors, I'm a hit-or-miss kind of cook. Anyway, during the party, I did receive a number of compliments on the pumpkin soup, but the most special compliment came from a neighbor down the street. He emailed to say thanks, and mentioned that he enjoyed my pumpkin soup. I was very flattered since I consider him a very talented cook, and a compliment from him was, well, better than nice. A few days later we bumped into each other at a neighborhood store. We chatted, and I mentioned that I aspire to his prowess in the kitchen. He shrugged his shoulders and said something like, I'm not sure that I'm that great, I just really love to cook. I realized then [well, I probably verbalized an old realization]... that I really don't like to cook. If money were no object, I'd hire a personal chef before hiring someone to do the laundry and bathrooms... that's how much I don't enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate to cook, I just don't like to cook.

Perfect example -- I have another neighbor whose dishes and desserts are delish, and needless to say, she also loves to cook. My husband has told me on a number of occasions that their house is "one of his favorite restaurants". One evening, my neighbor served a wonderful chicken dish with a side of Moroccan rice. I ate with an almost spiritual devotion, enjoying the flavors and textures, until I was so stuffed I thought my pants were going to lacerate my belly roll. It's not hard to guess on which side of a meal my passions lie.

A day or two later when I called to thank her for dinner, I also asked for the chicken and rice recipes. I had decided that I would make this meal for an extended family dinner later that month. Let's just say that when I cut into my piece of chicken and started to chew, I knew that my lack of loving to cook was right there in my mouth. I almost gave myself masseter-itis [masseter - def: thick muscle in the cheek that assists in chewing; itis - def: suffix denoting inflammation] trying to break down that little piece of chicken so that I could swallow it. I had to chew... and chew... and chew...

And, as I sat there exercising my masseter muscles, it dawned on me that if you do something without having or feeling a passion for it, then that lack of passion can definitely be "tasted", if not by others, then definitely by you.

Quote of the Day: "Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. Yet, I go marching on." George Bernard Shaw

#72 The Rabbi Says....

2009-11-04T21:49:00.019-05:00

While I was reading the Rabbi's monthly chat in the synagogue newsletter, I got inspired for this week's babble. I'm borrowing the Rabbi's pre-story used for his chat as my pre-story to my babble.

A rabbi once asked the members of his congregation, "What is the holiest day of the Jewish calendar?" "That's easy", one woman responded. "The holiest day is the Sabbath". "No," said another. "The holiest day is Yom Kippur when God grants us atonement for our sins." Other days were discussed and debated, but the rabbi finally put a stop to this exercise by sharing what he thought the holiest day should be. He chose the 11th of Tishrei as the holiest day on the Jewish calendar. "What holy day falls on the 11th of Tishrei?" the congregants all asked. "The 11th of Tishrei is the day after Yom Kippur. And this is the holiest day of the year because it is the day that we begin to see if we really intended to keep any of the promises we made."

For those of you who aren't Jewish and/or who don't know about Yom Kippur, it is a very holy day for the Jewish people. It comes 10 days after the Jewish New Year, and it is on this day that the Jews ask God for forgiveness for any and all sins committed. The 25-hour period that is spent worshipping, fasting, and reflecting on the past year is intended to encourage an inner change, a "return to living life as God expects of us". The disciplines of the day [fasting and worshipping] are intended to encourage us to restrain ourselves from our "drives," such as hunger, sex or anger - so that through the Rabbi's sermon and reading scripture, we can be guided toward a more meaningful way of life.

What caught my attention and inspired this babble is the idea of intention. Did I follow through on my promise?

What do I promise myself and fail at consistently? To eat healthy. How many times have I promised myself that "today's the day I'm going to start my diet", or in the past 10 years, to eat healthier, and cut out processed foods? I have said this sentence [or something like it] so many times in my life, and so many times, I have let myself down. When I started working on this babble, I thought about gluttony compared to other sins - like disrespect to one's elders, arrogance, envy, wantonness, greed, disregard for other's property, and so on. I don't mean to belittle the day of Yom Kippur by raising gluttony to the most sinful. I am just sharing how the Rabbi's pre story about "following through" made me think of my past [and sometimes present] failures with dieting.

During the service on the evening before Yom Kippur, we say something like this.... Look at us G-d, see what miserable sinners we are. We make promises to live better each year and yet we always seem to fall far short of keeping those promises. We ask you G-d to pardon us for our shortcomings.

Well, when it comes to dieting and eating healthy, we don't need to ask G-d for forgiveness. We don't need to ask for forgiveness from anyone but ourselves. We need to accept that we are weak in the arms of a canoli, and move on. We need to accept that the aroma of cookies baking in the oven make our hearts go pitter patter, and move on. It's all about our INTENTION. If our intentions are good and true, then we can start again to honor our bodies by feeding them in a healthy way.

So this is what I've learned, and this is how I try to treat myself. I don't harp on my weakness for sweets. I make mistakes. I eat unhealthy foods. Instead of insulting my inability to stay in control, I am instead, kind and understanding. This is how I would treat another person who has "slipped". The 11th of Tishrei can be every day in the life of a "dieter". Yom Kippur is a day to reflect on the values and responsibilities to yourself, as well as to the world. As my rabbi says in his chat, you aren't a hypocrite if you truly believe and intend to change. He says, "...that we need to realize the divine potential that we each possess, and to take the steps needed to make our good intentions come to fruition."

Quote of the Day: "Your life is not meant to get easier, it is meant to take on new and greater responsibilities. This is the pathway to self-fulfillment and self-worth." Dr. John Demartini - healer, trainer, writer

#71 Eating Like a Bear, Literally

2009-10-25T19:39:00.035-04:00

World's Fattest Man Eats 20,000 Calories a Day [printed in Martha Edwards posts Oct 21st 2009 9:00AM]

Worlds fastest swimmer eats 12,000 calories a day while training.

Average sized bear eats 20,000 calories
a day.

Sumo wrestlers eat between 18,000 and 20,000 calories/daily

When I saw that headline, Man Eats 20,000 calories, well, I just couldn't resist clicking on the link to see what 20,000 calories a day looks like, or perhaps what I really wanted to see was what a person who eats 20,000 calories a day looks like. Put it down to morbid curiosity.

Mr. Paul Mason has the dubious distinction of being the heaviest man on earth, weighing in at 976 pounds. It seems that Mr. M., aged 48, had to eat 2,000 (oops, I forgot a zero), I mean 20,000 calories daily to gain back the weight (250 lbs) he had lost while in the hospital recuperating from "a life-saving operation". For those of you who don't understand calories or count calories, that number, 20,000, is about 10 times more then the amount a 48-ish year old active man should be eating to maintain his weight. I need to share -- I'm actually a little jealous; not of stuffing my pie hole with 20,000 calories/daily, but a 2,000 calorie day does sound like a nice change from my 1,300 calorie day.

Of course, the honor of being Mr Biggest doesn't come without its problems. Mr. M rarely leaves his bed, and has 7 around the clock care-givers taking care of his daily needs. Let's stop here for a sec. Mr. Biggest and I are the same age [give or take a year], and having 7 people take care of my daily [and probably pretty intimate] needs because I was too fat to do it myself, would be humiliating and horrifying. (NOTE: I know there are people living this way due to debilitating diseases that necessitate the use of round the clock caregivers. I believe Mr. M is in a different category.) In the on-line article, the author, pretty much said that she really couldn't feel sorry for Mr. M since his goal was to become this way.

Mr. Mason can't travel in a car or on an airplane, and when he had to be rushed to the hospital for the above life-saving surgery, the British Air Force had to airlift him there. As to his clothing needs, I'm guessing that they're custom made. Truthfully, though, why bother getting dressed at all, as in underclothing, shirt and pants? If my "job" was eating 20,000 calories a day, and not moving from one spot, I think a mu mu would do just fine; it would definitely make it easier for my 7 caregivers. Actually, before husband and kids, there were probably a couple of days a year where I would plant my tush on the sofa, watch movies, catch up on missed TV shows, nap, read, eat all my meals in front of the TV, and never get out of my PJs. I looked at these days as a bonus day, not a lifestyle.

I'm not trying to sound nasty here, nor insensitive to the plight of the obese, and unlike Ms. Edwards the author of the article, I do feel a little sad and sorry for Mr. M. However, as we know, there are thousands of people living with body weights of 300 pounds and up. I TRULY BELIEVE that the last thing any of them would want is to add a few more pounds -- let alone another 200 or 300.

Oh, and just in case you're interested, it costs the British government $164,000 U.S. dollars a year to keep Mr. Mason alive. As of 2009, the cost of his care reached the $1 million mark

Quote of the Day: "I realized that I'm more important than food. I love a big slice of pizza, but I love myself more." Valerie Bertinelli

#70 When Your Body Knocks, Do You Answer?

2009-10-23T16:34:00.023-04:00

When it comes to your health, the worst thing a person can have is a high tolerance for pain, a non-pushy temperament, an "I don't want to rock the boat" personality, and a life that is so busy and hectic, that there is no time to "take off". Since this is breast cancer awareness month, I thought I would write a babble that stresses how important it is for us to know our bodies intimately, and not to be put off when a doctor doesn't have all the answers. This babble isn't meant to scare anyone, but rather to remind us all not to ignore that little voice that tells us that something "just ain't right". Honor your body. And for my male readers, share this with the women in your life so that they know you care about their bodies IN EVERY WAY.

I was waiting for my daughter and leafing through an old People Magazine, when I came across an article that was titled, "Fighting to Stay Alive". It is the story about a member of the rap group TLC, Tionne Watkin, and her life before and just after the discovery of a brain tumor. The debilitating headaches that she experienced for nearly 6 years, ones that would have sent the most stoic person to the doctor, were, she thought, due to stress, her disease and the demands of her career. Tionne has sickle-cell anemia, and because of this disease, her pain tolerance is extremely high. Only when she started experiencing blurry vision did she go see a doctor, and it was after her MRI, that a brain tumor the size of a grapefruit was discovered.

Wow, I thought, as I replayed in my head a conversation I had earlier in the day. That morning, my friend "Cleopatra" called to cancel an upcoming date . She didn't sound very good, so I asked if she was ill. Her response was not what I expected. She told me that she had just returned home from the hospital, where her left ovary and fallopian tube were removed. Cleo has spent the last 5 years explaining to any doctor who would listen, that something just wasn't right with her left side.... especially during ovulation. She visited many different specialists, but to no avail. She was told that her pain could possibly be due to some adhesions that she may have developed from her 2 C-sections, but nobody was ever sure. During the past five years, the pain has increased and decreased, but has never gone away. This last time though, was so painful, that she had to walk doubled over, and after 2 days of intense pain, she took herself to the emergency room. Long story short, she had a raging infection that, she was told, had been brewing for a very long time. On numerous occasions she remembers asking her doctor, "Is this pain normal?", and on her last visit, the doctor told her that she had probably pulled a muscle. My very smart friend sat there nodding her head trying to think when, in the last five years, she may have pulled "this muscle". I know you must be wondering why nobody found this problem earlier. It seems, there are 2 reasons. First, the infection was what the doctors [suspected was] encapsulated or walled off; it never spread. Second, poor Cleo has had at least 2-3 bouts of sinusitis a year for the past couple of years, plus she had bronchitis, pneumonia and meningitis during this 5 year period. With each infection and illness, she was given antibiotics. And, if you've ever had a sinus infection [which I have], you are sometimes put on antibiotics for a month, or more, to kill whatever disgusting stuff is living in your sinus'. Ironically, because Cleo had been healthy for the past 5-6 months and not on any antibiotics, the infection was able to intensify enough so that when the ultrasound was taken [for the 3rd time], something finally showed up.

I have worked in the healthcare field as both a clinician and as an administrator, and yet, when I am a patient, I wait my turn patiently, spend my rushed 10 minutes with the doctor, and then sit there nodding my head in response to what the doctor is saying, when what I really should be doing, is asking more questions and/or giving more symptoms. In today's healthcare atmosphere, we need to be our own advocates. We no longer have a doctor that follows us from childhood to adulthood, and knows all our family members and their medical histories. Both Cleo and Tionne lived with "their problem" because they were able to... up to a point. Thank goodness, the outcome for both, was a good one.

Quote of the Day: "Once you choose hope, anything's possible" Christopher Reeve

#69 Body Dysmorphia

2009-10-10T12:29:00.045-04:00

Joan Rivers on Aging: "Once I thought some guy pinched my nipple and it turns out he accidentally stepped on it."

Bette Midler on Aging: "After thirty, a body has a mind of its own."

Lucille Ball on Aging: "As a woman 'matures' it's best to use a make-up table with everything close at hand - and don't rush; otherwise you'll look like a patchwork quilt."

Bobbie on Aging: If one must adjust to growing older, and age is an issue of mind over matter, then how I mind my matter needs some adjusting.

A couple of years ago, I went to the salon for the usual - a trim, highlights, and some low lights. After sitting there for 2 hours and shelling out a ridiculous sum of money, I came home and thought, not for the first time, that I didn't really like my new haircut. However, this is pretty typical for me since it usually takes about two or three days before I figure out how to style my new cut, and for the products they used to be washed out. This time, though, was different. Nothing I did worked. That's when I decided that this "do" wouldn't do. I told a friend how I was feeling. She said something like -- I should go back because my hair happiness is an advertisement for my salon and stylist. Four days post haircut, I returned to the salon and told "Spartacus" how I was feeling. He was very nice and told me to sit in his chair and he would "fix" it.

As the minutes ticked by, I sat there staring at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out what it was I didn't like. I lifted my hair off my neck, I made make-believe bangs, and so on. It was when I pulled part of my hair back into an Alice in Wonderland style [that's what my mom always called it when we were little] that the light bulb went off. I pulled tighter. OMG, it wasn't my hair I didn't like, it was my face!! Something, it seemed, had happened since my last visit!!! My eye lids looked heavy, my cheeks were, well, not where they were supposed to be, and I saw lines around my mouth that I didn't remember seeing last time. Now don't start with, "oh Bobbie, you're so hard on yourself" thoughts; I wasn't seeing an "old lady" sitting in the chair, but I wasn't seeing the "young" lady that I picture in my head.

Fifteen minutes later when Spartacus walked over to discuss what we should do, I told him that my hair was fine and that it was my face I needed to deal with. Of course, he told me I was foolish and silly [which I'm not sure was true, but especially liked hearing with his accent]. Although I do think I have a slight problem with body dysmorphia, I am able to step back and perform an honest critique of my body parts. While Spartacus droned on, I sat in his chair wondering if 42 was too young for a face/cheek/eye lift, and would my husband be willing to shell out $10,000 for a "birthday gift". I walked out of the salon wondering what other 42 year old women do when they feel this way....

I changed my hair dresser....

photo - me at 31
photo - me at 40
2 photos - me at 47, the no make-up, no hair done Bobbie, and the public Bobbie

Quote of the Day: "Start slowly because direction is so much more important than speed" author unknown

#68 How NOT to Stop a Crying Baby

2009-10-05T21:56:00.026-04:00

Last Saturday, with a couple of hours to spare, I went shopping at my favorite chic boutique, TJ Max. Since the cold weather season is approaching, and also at my daughter's request, I went in search of some winter duds for her. I was zen shopping, oblivious to everything but the sweaters in front of me, when the sound of a crying baby interrupted my trance. I tried to ignore it, but then I heard the mother, in a loud voice, say NO! The baby [more than 1 less than 2, I later saw] stopped crying, but I could still hear his/her hiccupping boo hoos.

As I continued sweater seeking, humming along with Cheryl Crow and Elton John, I was once more jerked out of my trance. This time it wasn't by a loud voice, but the sound of a slap. I looked up, and in slow-mo, watched this little girl work herself up for an all-out howl. I looked around to see if anyone else was as upset as I felt. Oh Yes!! There were a number of women, moms and daughters all looking at each other and at me. I saw the baby's mom look at us looking at her. "Dare me" her eyes said. With just a twinge of fear, I took on her dare. I very nicely and calmly told this young mother that baby's are programmed to cry when they feel pain and that hitting a baby is not the way to get them to stop crying. That's all I said. I walked to the next rack where I was able to hear a woman say to the mom, "it's 4:00 in the afternoon, baby witching hour. It's just not a good time for babies and mommies. We're all tired. Be patient". Then, another woman told the mom that hitting is never the answer and that she should try a different method. Everyone was quiet and polite, but I know, in my heart, that we were just talking into the wind.

I decided to leave -- my heart just wasn't into shopping anymore. I kept replaying that mother's look and what I had said. As I walked over to the check out line, heart still racing, I hoped that I hadn't done the wrong thing. I was standing in line, waiting to pay for my few things, when a women came over to me and said that I was very brave for having said something. A few more in line nodded along with her. Brave? I wasn't brave. I have no armor to protect me from watching a child, or for that matter, an animal, unjustly hurt. They are, in different ways, defenseless... I HAD to say something.

As I reached my car, I once again realized the power of one voice. If one person speaks up, others will follow. Had I not told the young mother that hitting wasn't the way to stop a baby from crying, perhaps those other ladies might not have had the courage to speak up. Who knows if my saying anything, or those other women saying their piece, had an impact on that mother, but perhaps it had an impact on someone else in that store... someone who has been too scared to speak up, but may now take that chance.

Quote of the Day: "The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge" Bertrand Russell (English philosopher, logician, mathematician and, historian)

#67 Should There Be an Extra Tax on Soft Drinks?

2009-10-05T12:33:00.018-04:00

We know there's an obesity epidemic in the United States. We also know Americans make poor food choices and have begun to think that super sized meals are the norm. Recently, in The New England Journal of Medicine, an article was written where the authors recommended a way to help with obesity as well as a way to help with the cost of healthcare. They say: tax soft drinks and sugary drinks. As I see it, this "argument" could go three ways. First, the tax may deter people if the cost of soda truly becomes unaffordable. Second, the billions of dollars raised by this tax could help offset the burden obesity puts on the healthcare system. And third, it could totally backfire. Truthfully though, I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's the old punish bad behavior vs promoting good behavior. How about helping to reduce obesity while promoting wellness? Instead of taxing "bad", why not subsidize good - like fruits and veggies?

Is too much intervention good? I mean, of the government kind. Once upon a time there was prohibition -- Bad. Next came the cigarette tax -- Good. Ironically, just a few weeks ago, I had a mini debate where I argued on the side of government intervention. My "opponent" was saying that we [the US] are so 1984 -- you know, big brotherish. I told him that I was ok with public space spying [cameras on the interior and exterior of buildings, etc], especially if it deterred and/or solved crimes. Lets just say that he let me know, in not such a nice way, that he didn't agree with me. Well, now here I am thinking that maybe taxing soft drinks has gone just a little too far. Could we possibly next see an increased tax on items with hydrogenated oils? Trans fat? Too much sugar? Of course, the piggy-who-can't-control-herself-part-of-me sort of wishes that this would happen [with chocolate products only], but the grown-up who should be in control of her food and life thinks, WE the consumer, must take responsibility. Plus, I think the tax would have to be very, very, very high to make the price of soft drinks exorbitant to its "users". If caffeine is as addictive as nicotine, and people are willing to pay $5.00+ per pack of cigarettes, well even I can do that kind of of math...

Quote of the Day: "There is many a slip twixt the cup and the lip" Richard Harris

#66 Body Protuberances

2009-09-25T15:04:00.020-04:00

While perusing the Internet for my daily dose of news the other day, an article's title caught my attention. It said, "Young Designer Uses 'Normal-Sized' Models at London Fashion Week - Casting Director and Stylist Walk Out". It seems that this young Canadian designer, Marc Fast, mixed in normal sized models [US sizes 8-10] with his toothpick strutters against the wishes of the casting director and stylist. When asked why he did this, he explained that he was trying to show that his form-fitting knit wear looks good not only on the slim and slender, but can also be worn by the "everyday" gal.

Well, Marc honey, I am that everyday gal. I wear a size [US] 6 or 8 depending on the designer and the style, and I can tell you, Sweetie, that when it comes to clingy knitwear, the "normal" body with its curves and protuberances just doesn't look as good as the slim and bulge-less. I'm not talking skeletal, as in [US] negative zero, nor am I saying that we [the collective we] look bad. I'm just saying that we don't look "as good", like we forgot to put on our full-body spanks or something.

What can I say? It's just my opinion. When I look in magazines and see plus size or normal size females modeling dresses, slacks, skirts and jeans, I honestly don't like the outfit as much as when I see a "model" wearing them. And, the answer is so simple: Fantasy!! Along with a little Desire and Hope thrown in. I want to believe that when I put on those slacks, silk blouse, suede boots, and chunky funky belt, that I will look [exactly] like Jessica Alba or Cindy Crawford or Halle Berry. I mean for crying out loud, I have brown hair and brown eyes too, ya know!

Which brings me to my next rant. I love reading medical studies. Especially the ones now reporting that a little extra fat is not such a bad thing. For example, in August, the Canadian Obesity Journal reported that a little extra weight can protect one against mortality, and that being too thin may be associated with a higher risk of death. Hmmm. Haven't we also read that people who reduce their calories to the point of starvation [while getting all their needed vitamins and nutrients of course] have a better chance of longevity, and with fewer instances of disease?

Are we confused? Baffled? Well, sure we are. How about a little red wine? Nope. Some studies believe that 'a glass a day keeps the doctor at bay' is false, and that no alcohol is best. How about some caffeine. Nope. This too is under question. It seems that one cup of Joe is just one too many, and I read a BLOG a few weeks ago that reminded me of the "no fat" diet craze that was later proven to be way off base. These studies that make our brains ping pong back and forth make me nuts. Nu?

What I've decided is that moderation has to be the answer. Too much, or too little for that matter, are just not specific enough. I'm waiting for the study that says, 3 scoops of ice cream are better for you than 2 scoops because after 3 scoops you are full and satisfied, but after 2 scoops, "studies show" that the average person is still unsatisfied -- which may lead them back to the freezer for additional scoopage. Best to play it safe with 3 scoops... don't you think?

Quote of the Day: "There's no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream" -Author unknown

#65 Candy Corn - How I Love Thee

2009-09-16T21:39:00.012-04:00

Note to Reader: This babble was posted last year around Halloween. Nothing has changed....it's September 20th and I've already gotten into the candy corn.

Every year around this time I do something terrible. I buy candy corn. I know you're thinking how terrible can that be? Well, I just don't buy candy corn, I crave it. And once I start eating it, it's very hard to stop. Sometimes, before I even know it, I've popped 10 sweet kernels into my mouth, and as the 11th goes in, I begin to get the shakes and feel nauseous. It's usually when I'm feeling this way that I question my sanity [Aren't there better things to crave?]. What's amazing though, is that once Halloween is over, I can pass candy corn in any venue and have absolutely no desire for it. I mean zilch. You could even offer me some and I'd very easily so no thank you.

This year, however, things started out a tiny bit differently than previous years. This year I started buying my candy drug in September. I usually wait till at least the first week in October, but for some reason [I'll guess an emotional one] I allowed myself a small bag of Brach's candy corn. On the 4th day, when that last kernel was eaten, I contemplated the possibility that I had gotten them out of my system early.

NOT! About a week later, I arrived home to find a package from UPS on my porch. I opened it and there inside was a small bag of candy corn. Sooooo sweet!!! Not the corn, but my 12 year old daughter. Being the understanding, wonderful and nurturing person she is, she sent me a care package. To make a long story short, I OD'd on them the second day and had to head upstairs for a sugar-induced nap. During my afternoon siesta, my husband told my daughter to go hide the candy corn and to dole it out sparingly... and only if I begged. Humph!! I don't know at whom I'm angrier? My daughter for buying it, my husband for hiding it, or me for my lack of control over it.

Fortuitously [or not], I found the stash of candy corn. As I was sitting at my desk this afternoon answering emails and munching on my drug of choice, I dropped a few. Iggy, our adopted dog, knows that when something drops he has to wait for permission to eat it otherwise he would be eating buttons, staples, you name it. Well, you'll never believe what happened. The minute Iggy saw what had fallen, he lunged for those 3 yellow, orange and white tipped sweeties. I swear, we had a fist to paw fight over them.

As I sat there staring at my dog and three lost candy corn, it came to me in a flash: Oh my G-d, Iggy's previous owners had turned him into a candy corn addict!!! I smiled... it's nice to have a junkie buddy.

Quote of the Day: "The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too stong to be broken" Samuel Johnson

#64 Dairy Queen, and Then Some

2009-09-16T19:45:00.022-04:00

For a number of reasons, yesterday wasn't a great day. First, I had too much to do, but all I really wanted to do was sit on the porch swing and read. Second, I walked into the corner store to get my post-power-walk coffee just as freshly baked [the aroma was to die for] bagels were being delivered. Third, there was an entry in my date book that read, Brunch-11:00. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out if this was a mistake or if I/we really had a brunch. Since I am a very organized person, I figured I wrote this in as a "maybe", but never confirmed it. Just in case, though, I called a few people, asked my husband and kids, and even called my neighbor on her cell when I saw her speeding out of her driveway at 10:45 to ask her if I was supposed to be where she was heading. Laughing, she said no. Alas, I just couldn't remember, ate one of those blasted bagels, and got on with my day.

I was heading back home after chauffeuring my son to his tennis lesson, my dog to the vet for a bath, and my daughter to her rehearsal when I started fantasizing about installing a port-a-potty and kitchenette in the car. I was really getting into the design when my cell phone rang. Hello, I said. On the other end was my friend Pam who asked, "Are you lost?". I stared out at the road thinking lost?, when I suddenly remembered what that 11:00 brunch entry was. Horrified at this faux pas, I pulled onto a side street, apologized profusely, and tried not to sound like the idiot I felt. It was Pam's 50th birthday brunch being hosted by her daughter, and I was supposed to be there with heels on and gift in hand. My bad! I'm bad! Just plain bad!

Those two paragraphs above lead up to this: We are neither alone nor original in how we deal with our small universe. Hear me out.

I'm upset about Pam, frustrated about all the driving hither and yon, and numb from standing in forever lines at 3 different supermarkets [Whole Foods, Trader Joes and Acme]. To me, this back and forth, in and out of the car is the most exhausting thing in the world. On my way to pick up my daughter, I decide that I would feel a whole lot better if I had a Dairy Queen vanilla cone with chocolate sprinkles. Yep. That's what would make me feel better. It's 5:00 PM, but what the hell -- I buy the cone -- I didn't really enjoy it.

I picked up my daughter and headed home. When we got home, I was truly in no mood to make dinner, but I had defrosted chicken and it needed to be cooked. While the chicken was doing its thing, I decide to do mine - improve my mood by munching on some mini chocolate donuts [PMS stash - although a bit old and stale, I still ate them]. After dinner, I answered emails and in response to a friend's question of how I'm doing, I write back about my day and the food I used to boost my spirits. This is what my friend [with the PhD in Psychology] wrote back:

I had Dairy Queen this week too - a chocolate cone with chocolate sprinkles. I found it very unsatisfying because I wanted a strong chocolate taste - so I immediately drove to 7 - 11. They have a chocolate brownie there that understands what chocolate means. I felt guilty about eating such bad food and thought perhaps I was PMSing, but I was wrong. The job of parenting is about endless giving, which becomes depleting, which is why we sometimes try to fill up again - with something, anything, that is for us - a private joy if you will.

Wow, two educated, healthy-eating, caring about our bodies, exercise freaks eating dairy queen and then some. It struck me that if she and I were doing this, there must have been hundreds [thousands?] of other men and women eating their "Dairy Queen" and then some. See what I mean? We're not alone...

Quote of the Day: "Do or do not. There is no try" Yoda

#63 Bobbie is Babbling

2009-09-09T20:09:00.034-04:00

Singing The Calorie Blues

I was recently in NYC and realized that if I lived there, I might starve... or become very, very healthy. This realization had nothing to do with how much I walked, nor the prices at restaurants. This OMG moment happened at a corner deli when I noticed extra numbers next to the prices and realized that they were calories. It seems that restaurant chains [those with 3 or more eating establishments] are required to post the calories for the food they serve http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSN1847047920080720 720. Since I now know exactly how many calories are in a NY bagel [without butter] and a plain slice of pizza, I'm thinking of never allowing these foods to pass by my lips again. Yeah right!!

Born Round

Funny and thought provoking book about a guy [Frank Bruni, food critic] who tells his story about being born "round". This got me thinking about big babies. Some people are just born big, or big boned, but does their continued bigness have to do with the amount of food they eat? Does one thing "feed off" the other? My son was born big, almost 9 pounds. He was my chunky toddler, and I shopped in the husky departments until he had his growth spurt. He is now 5'10" and slim. Unlike Bruni though, my son's eating habits were that of a normal person... he stopped when he was full - like after eating a half a brownie. Bruni shares that even as a little kid, he would "scream for seconds". It makes me wonder: Are you born with the "big gene"? Are you big because you eat a lot? Do you eat a lot because you're big?

I know young kids who are very overweight, who crave food and sweets, and actually cry when they don't get enough food or can't get the food they really want. So, for all my food issues, I'm so happy that this one passed me by. Emotional eating is bad enough, but to have a physiological need that starts young, well, that's just a major bummer!

We Have No Chance

How can we not think about food when "it" is all around us. Just look at these sayings and see how ingrained foodisms are in our lives.

You are what you eat
Eat like there's no tomorrow
She drinks like a fish
Now that's hard to swallow
Hungry like the wolf
Nourishing our souls
Brain food
Food for thought
Thirst for knowledge
Hungry for adventure
Quench your desires

See what I mean? If there were as many sayings to do with sex as there are to do with food, well, uh, then, I would be thinking about other things besides food ... which would actually make my husband very happy. Perhaps my next babble will have a list of sayings that are sex driven. Hello out there -- I may need some help!

Who Knew?

In my freshman year, one of my professors said to the class, "everyone is beautiful". I sat there with my small mind thinking that we must be seeing different people. Over these many years though, I have learned differently. I now search out that type of beauty. I've learned that some people have a special type of beauty that others are blind to, but that are transformative to both that person and the viewer. Click on this link to be inspired, to see a life being changed, to see others transformed, to see the recognition that someone can really be "beautiful" when minutes before, it was hidden. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__Gs02ZmUmE

Quote of the Day: "The most common reason we stumble into the delusion of powerlessness is that we're afraid of what other people would do if we were to act as we wanted" Martha Beck (author)

#62 Is Eating For Pleasure Obsolete?

2009-08-30T13:53:00.018-04:00

My cousin, Anna Jane Grossman, wrote a book called OBSOLETE. It's an encyclopedia of once common things that are passing us or have passed us by. This is, of course, a plug for her book; however, there are some very interesting entries. For example, ciao to adult book stores. I'm assuming that their demise is due in part to the Internet and in part to the fact that network and cable television are so OUT there that one doesn't need to hide in a dark "book store" to get their jollies anymore.

Here are a few other entries that may pique your interest: ditto paper, car cigarette lighters, social emailing [my son is quoted], and the one that really caught my interest, EATING FOR PLEASURE. Now, aren't you curious?

The small print under the eating for pleasure entry says, "the practice of not obsessing about food." Some of us foodies may be unsure as to what that means. Either we're eating really well, watching what we eat, counting our calories, preparing good dishes, and shopping at Whole Foods, or we are eating crap and dealing with all the obsessive thoughts that go with doing that. However, Annie [that's what I call her] writes that it gets even more neurotic than what I just shared. She says, "we are either over-analyzing our diets or berating ourselves...", and since the 90's, when the FDA started requiring that food packages have the nutritional values printed on the outside, calorie counting has taken the fun out of eating. She says that a person can't even indulge in, a Hostess cupcake "without first removing their eyeglasses". Well, she's got me down, although for some splurges I just ignore the fine print.

Today, people are so diverse in their diets that going out with a group of friends for lunch or dinner, or having people over, or having kids to your home can be very difficult and mystifying. You'd be remiss if you didn't check to see if your guests have any nut allergies, keep kosher, are vegetarians, don't eat dairy, are off sugar, are vegan, or only eat raw food. Recently, we had a barbeque where one of the families invited eats a gluten-free diet -- this means no wheat products. I had decided to make corn bread in their honor, but when I looked at the ingredients on the mix, gluten was the third ingredient. My choices, it seemed, were to either buy gluten-free corn bread or make it from scratch.

Recently, I made the decision to change the way my kids snack. Because neither one of them have a weight problem or "use food", I've never been overly concerned with their snacking. If they wanted something sweet, they would grab a cookie or two. Recently though, I've noticed that they are doing a lot more grazing on snack foods when they watch TV. Also, I'm concerned with the amount of sugar and hydrogenated oils they are getting in these snack foods... the ones, sad to say, that I'm buying. When I told them what I was thinking and what I wanted to do, surprisingly, there was no argument. Actually, my son went into my daughter's room, brought down the book Eat This Not That For Kids [that I had bought and don't remember doing], and we made a list of the snack foods, cereals, peanut butters, jellies, yogurts, etc. that were on the "Eat List" and that they thought they would like. Hmm, that almost seemed too easy. Now let's see if they'll eat any of these "healthy" foods.

Last night, I was reading a fellow blogger's blog http://www.http//lynnsweigh.blogspot.com/ when I noticed she had written at the top of her post that her blog contained "food porn", and one should open it at their own risk. I read through her post enjoying the recipes and photos. I then wrote her a comment telling her how yummy everything looked, but that I would have given the blog a PG13 and not the XXX rating she had given it. My response was intended as a joke in response to what I thought she was joking about, food porn. She wrote back and explained that one of her readers, in all seriousness, told her that since people have issues with food, and that reading about or seeing food could set them off on a binge, she should add some type of censure to warn her readers. OY VEY!!! And I thought I had problems....

To end on a positive note, cousin Annie tells us that Sara Moulton, of Gourmet Magazine, says that "food should be fun and tasty". For good measure though, I'm going to throw in that food should be fun, tasty and nutritious. Another well-known celebrity, Cookie Monster, agrees. He began preaching to his young audience that "cookies are a sometimes food", but he never said not to enjoy them.

Quote of the Day: "Do what's right, not what's easy" Suze Orman [financial guru]

#61 The Poetry of Food

2009-08-26T21:02:00.025-04:00

When spinach is served if I am able, I always try to leave the table. But if I can’t, why then I fake, I shut my eyes and call it cake.

This poem was written by my maternal grandfather. He loved to write poetry and even had a book of children's poems published. When my sister recently reminded me about this poem, it brought back memories of my mom reciting it at the dinner table to make us eat whatever it was that we didn't want. I actually hated spinach and as much as I tried to make believe it tasted like chocolate chip cookies, it didn't!! Actually, I "lost my cookies" the first time I tried to eat spinach. I know, gross. Ironically, I now love spinach. One of my favorite side dishes is sauteed spinach with garlic, and one of my favorite omelettes is made with spinach, feta, and tomato.

When my son was about 6 years old, he was scared to float on his back. I begged and pleaded with him. No way Jose he would say. I finally bribed him with an Eric Lindros Jersey [captain of the Philadelphia Flyers ice hockey team]. That worked, and he completed the promised two minute float on his back. I decided to try this same tactic with spinach. I told him I would give him $20 if he would try spinach. I had to do some begging and pleading, but I wore him down and he finally gave in. He put a small amount on his fork and hesitantly put it in his mouth. I watched as his nostrils flared and his eyes bugged out. Next, his throat flexed, he gagged, and what followed was disgusting. I guess, like mother, like son. Lesson learned -- when it comes to food, there are certain things that [most] kids just don't like. I'll still offer new foods to my children, but my bribing days are over.

Ok, back to the spinach poem. After hanging up the phone with my sister, I began to think of other foods that I used to hate and now like. While power walking the other day, I shared the spinach poem and spinach stories with my walking partners. We had a lot of fun trying to remember that there were once foods we didn't like [LOL]. After making a list, I narrowed it down to these.

This past summer when we took my folks out to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, I chose the restaurant because they have liver and onions on the menu. Comically, as a kid, I would hold my nose, squint my eyes, and slather the liver with ketchup to make it go "down the hatch".

As you know from from babble #58, I hated the smell of boiling brussel sprouts and ranked it up there with skunked dog; now I love them. I cut them in half, spray them with olive oil, roast them in the oven til brown, and pop one after another into my mouth. It's like eating candy.

I like cream of mushroom soup. I love tuna fish. I adore almost every type of cheese on the market. However, those three foods combined to make a tuna casserole, to me, was just gross. Ugh. I hated how it looked. I hated how it tasted, and I especially hated how it smelled. Now though, if I see this on a menu or on a salad bar, I have to have some. Beyond absurd, I never make this dish at home because I can't trust that I'll stop after one serving.

Stuffed cabbage is an acquired taste, and the smell while cooking, is right up there with brussel sprouts. However, I now love this too. There is one restaurant in my neighborhood where I've never eaten anything else besides their stuffed cabbage. I go there only for that and that alone. Well, their humus is pretty outstanding too!

And so, I'll end with this little ditty -- which perhaps may make you think that I should leave the writing of poetry to my grandfather.....

As a kid, I wasn't picky, but certain foods I thought were icky
The years passed by and my tastes began to bud
I started eating foods that had once tasted like cud
The moral of this story is simple and neat
You can't go wrong with a good piece of meat!!

Quote of the Day: "The world looks beautiful through a donut hole. It reminds me that there is not always war and conflict; that sometimes there is sweetness" David Lyell (School Teacher and Part-time actor)

#60 Julie and Julia and Bobbie

2009-08-24T17:52:00.022-04:00

It's a dark and rainy Saturday, and I've just returned from the 1:00 matinee of Julie and Julia. For my last birthday, my sister gifted me this book with the inscription: from blog to book to movie... may this be your future. She's very supportive, and I can only hope that "you know who" can read her neat penmanship from all the way "up there". Anyway, back to the movie. My husband had no interest in seeing this movie, the kids were doing their own thing, so off I went. The movie was crowded, and not surprisingly, there were a number of other single women there besides me. There were no single men, and of the heterosexual couples, the majority were at least 65+. I thought that was interesting. Did these men volunteer to see this movie or were they dragged and/or cajoled by their wives? Either way, I hope they enjoyed it. This movie was fun and funny and yummy and I think the boyfriends and husbands who chose not to go missed out. Anything with Meryl Streep AND food, has to be good. Of course, the best line in the movie is Julia's [Meryl] response to her husband [Stanley Tucci] when he asks her what she likes to do. She tilts her head, thinks for a nano-second, and answers, EAT!

So, you're wondering, where does Bobbie's food rant come into this - you know, the lesson du jour. Here goes, butter!! salt!! cream!! Julia Child's recipes were filled with these three ingredients. Whenever I follow a recipe, the outcome, a lot of the time, is boring, tasteless, bland!!! I used to wonder why, but as my friend Lauren has said to me on more than one occasion, all your "diet" substitutions ruin the recipe. She says, you can't change 3 or 4 out of 7 ingredients and expect your dish to taste the way it tasted at a friend's house or in the restaurant. When I cook, I try to watch 3 things: the grams of fat, the number of calories, and the amount of salt. So, cream becomes whatever low fat milk or soy milk I have in the house, no salt or very sparingly, and I use salt free soup stocks when needed. Blah, blah, blah as in boring , boring, boring. Plus, since I cater to my kid's palates too, I'm a restaurant at dinner time. During most meals, there is always salt, pepper and hot sauce on our table. Since the kids aren't into hot and spicy, and I'm not into salty, we all doctor up our meals as needed.

Having told you all what a terrible cook I am, I'm still going to share two recipes that I love, that I've figured out how to make a la Bobbie, and that I've been told are very good.

[original recipe first, followed by my modifications]

Spaghetti with Scallops
[or your choice of pasta]
serves 6

1 lb fresh bay or sea scallops
1 lb spaghetti
1/2 cup unseasoned dry bread crumbs
1 tbs chopped garlic, or minced garlic from a jar
1/2 cup of olive oil
2 tbs parsley
2 tbs crushed red pepper or hot red chile pepper
salt

rinse scallops, pat dry
boil water and add spaghetti
in a small skillet, stir breadcrumbs over a high heat until slightly toasted. transfer to plate to cool
in skillet, warm olive oil and slowly watch the garlic turn golden, add red pepper and stir
add scallops
add a pinch or two of salt
cook over a high heat until scallops lose their shiny-ness and turn flat white
toss scallops with pasta

Modified - serves same number of people
A - 1 lb spaghetti --I use Ronzoni Smart Taste. Compared to regular spaghetti, there are fewer calories, more than double the fiber and this has six grams of protein. I personally don't like the flavor of this dish with whole wheat pasta, but go ahead and give it a try. For those following a gluten free diet, it tastes pretty good with brown rice pasta.
B - No bread crumbs [not that these are so fattening, but why waste calories. Plus, they really don't add anything]
C - We love garlic, so you can ignore the recipe amount and use what you think would work for your family. I believe I add about 3 tbs
D - I measure out a 1/2 cut olive oil, but never use it all. I pour enough in the skillet to brown the garlic and scallops. If needed, I add more when I toss the pasta and scallops together to make sure all the spaghetti is covered.
E - No salt - salt shaker on the table

Pumpkin Soup
makes about 1 1/2 quarts

1 large onion, halved
1/4 butter
1/2 tsp curry powder
2 cups canned pumpkin
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 cups of chicken stock
2 cups heavy cream

Either food process or dice onions very small
melt butter in skillet, add onion and saute until limp
sprinkle with curry powder and saute an additional minute or two
process the pumpkin and the curried onions, add salt and process for 10 seconds more
pour in heavy cream while continuing to process.
transfer pumpkin puree to a large saucepan and heat slowly with chicken stock
garnish with sour cream and serve steaming hot

Modified - serves same number of people
A - I choose a low fat, salt free butter like Smart Balance or Land O Lakes light. There are others out there too
B - 1 tsp of salt
C - light salt or no salt chicken stock
D - I use fat free half 'n half or whole milk [depending if this is for company or just my family]
E - I offer, but don't automatically garnish with sour cream. It might look nice, but like the breadcrumbs above, it's just extra calories and the soup doesn't need it for taste.
F - And the great thing about soup is that it fills you up so that you tend to eat less.
G - salt shaker on the table

A la Julie and Julia, I'm sure you wonderful babble followers have some great recipes -- even ones that you too have modified for dietary reasons. I would love if you would share them with me and the other babble readers. Please post them in the comment section at the bottom of this babble. If you can't figure out how to do that, send any recipes to my email address and I'll post them to the comment section so that others can see them too. Thanks and I look forward to cooking and baking some yummy and healthy new meals soon.

Quote of the Day: "We are who we come from as much as who we make of ourselves" Ariel Sabar, author of My Father's Paradise

#59 What Do Ed Rendell and I Have in Common?

2009-08-19T14:59:00.041-04:00

What do Governor Ed Rendell and I have in common? A whole lot, it seems!!

First and foremost, we both love Starbuck's ice cream. I'm not sure which flavor calls his name, but JAVA CHIP sure screams mine. This is a smooth coffee-flavored ice cream with the most amazing tasting chocolate chunks. Cool and creamy used to be my "company of choice" when I had myself a personal pity session. Notice, however, that those previous sentences were written in the past. Thankfully [NOT!], Starbucks stopped selling their ice cream in pints. Although I didn't want to end my relationship with JC, I realized that there was no way I could bring a quart of Java Chip into my house. I mean, my poor heart couldn't deal with both the caffeine [it is REAL coffee ice cream] and the sugar in the amounts necessary to console myself. Plus, the screaming from the freezer would have been too much for me to ignore.

Second, we both have a weight problem. Granted, his is a little bigger, but a problem is a problem. As have I, he too has battled the belt buckle. In the Philadelphia Inquirer article, we learn that big Ed has been dieting by cutting his portions in half. It's obviously working, since he shares that he's lost 40 pounds so far. I think this is great. Sticking to this diet or any restriction of food can be really difficult -- so kudos to him! Who knows, by the time this babble comes out he could be well on his way to a 50 pound weight loss. http://www.philly.com/philly/news/homepage/20090817_Gov__Rendell_trying_to_lose_weight.html?referrer I'd say he's a good role model for taking one's health seriously and for the citizens of Philadelphia. Although the City of Brotherly Love has dropped to #20 on the list of fattest cities in the country, it once had the dubious distinction of being #2. Which brings me to number three.

Three, we both live in Pennsylvania, and when he was mayor, we both lived in Philadelphia. Ok, so he's famous and I'm not, and he now lives in the governor's mansion and not a money sucking 250 year old constantly-needing-work-money-pit, but we're still in the same state. I wonder though, if his house has an elevator? I should tell him to read Babble #29 where he can learn about the caloric benefits of having to run up and down stairs. During the summer of '94, Ed and I both belonged to the same swim club. Let me be honest here -- I have never in my whole entire life said [or even thought] that I looked good in a bathing suit....ever. However, compared to Governor Rendell, and I can only speak for that summer, I looked amazing. Wow, that felt good.

Four, he loves his family and they love him. How do I know this? In the Inquirer article, he tells us that he decided to lose weight for them. He said his wife and son were dropping not-so-subtle hints about how they would like to see him stick around a little longer, and as his wife put it, [I'm paraphrasing] you don't see too many fat 80-year old men out there. Well, my family never gently nor strongly hinted that I needed to lose weight, but they could see that I was wearing some extra poundage. Although Eds family support was vocal, my family knew that a more quiet - we're here for you if you need us - approach would be a better way to support me. My response to, "do you really need that?" is not pleasant.

I guess the last thing we have in common is that we both no longer visit "that" freezer section at our local supermarkets. I can't be sure about by buddy Ed, but I can happily report it's been more than two years since me and my Java Chip have had a date. I do miss him though...

Quote of the Day: You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. Beverly Sills

#58 Food For Thought

2009-08-18T14:01:00.024-04:00

I decided to write about food, but instead of lamenting the issues that surround food, I am going to play with my food. I love word games, scrabble and crossword puzzles, so I decided to try and use food as a figurative enhancer in story telling. Thanks to those who helped me figure out my metaphors, similes and hyperboles. And for those reading this, forgive me if this babble is like a meandering stream of thoughts. It's meant to entertain.

* There is a lot of figurative language in this babble, however, I've highlighted the relevant ones. You know, the ones that have to do with food.

In his book, The Guardian, author Nicholas Sparks uses so many amazing descriptive sentences, that I got the idea for a babble. One sentence that has stuck with me like bubble gum on carpet, goes like this: her eyes were so glazed she could have flavored a dozen donuts. I have never heard boredom described so visually and yummily. This got my creative juices going. I think food is a wonderful choice as an expressive resource. Not only can you use food to describe boredom, but food has been used amazingly well to describe other things, like manliness, as in "real men don't eat quiche." Well said, but I disagree. I know lots of men who eat quiche, although, they'd otherwise be described as "meat and potato men." Ooh, this is fun.

I recently heard a debate on a television program arguing that humans are the only tear-producing species. That got me thinking about all the tears I've shed and seen in my 47 years. The ones that first come to mind are those of my daughter when she was a toddler. Sometimes (ok, many times) when she didn't get her way, she would start to cry. I knew she was acting and those were just onion tears, but seeing them still broke my heart. Once, when Erica and I were in the park, she found a companion and off they went. While they were playing, Erica and this adorable red headed string bean had a long-winded gigglefest. The nanny, who I had seen there before, approached me. She told me that my daughter was so sweet that if you tasted her tears, you would think of honeydew. Isn't that sweet...and a bit weird? Honeydew?

I'm not sure if you know this about me, but I am a bit shoe crazy. Because of my cankles and thick stalk-like calves, it's very hard for me to find shoes that (I think) flatter my lower leg as well as boots that I can zipper... all the way up. A couple of years ago, I walked into an Aerosole shoe store and bought the most comfortable pair of sandals I'd ever owned - still to this day. I was able to traverse a flea market that spanned 5 miles in the oven heat of August, and it felt like I was literally walking on marshmallows the whole time. Meanwhile, my flip flop-wearing girlfriend ended up with a blister that could have rivaled any grape in season. Alas, I wish I had bought two pairs.

I don't know if you know this about me either, but my husband thinks I was a dog (as in canine, pooch, and, I'm sure, bitch) in my previous life. First of all, I am very sensitive to too much acoustic stimulation; as in the radio blaring, the top down on the car, listening to him talk on his cell phone and all the other noises that having the hood up and windows closed would disguise. However, my sensitivity to noise isn't my only dog-like quality. Like my Iggy, I have milky white teeth [ok, I embellish, but it sounds nice], but they are far from chiclet-like. Furthermore, I also I have a keen nose. It ain't a beauty, but I can walk into a room and immediately tell that the Camembert living under my sofa is probably a rank pair of sneakers belonging to one of my kids. Even in my sleep, my nose continues to work. Many years ago, I was in a deep sleep when I was woken up by the smell of what I thought was burnt wiring. I jumped out of bed and yelled fire. I was running down the hall when our dog ran up to me -- I almost passed out. During her last pee of the night, she had gotten herself skunked. There are no food metaphors that come close to describing that smell, but that smell rivals one of the worst odors I can think of, boiling brussel sprouts. Yup, that's a smell right up there with eau de skunk.

Of course I can't end this babble without metaphoring or throwing about some sex similes -- so here goes (forgive me, mom and dad). A lot of men wish they were hung like a horse, but I'm sure most would settle for a medium sized banana ... the shape works too. And, I never understood why men called their penises "meat". I mean their neck could be considered meat too considering I've been known to take a nibble or two. While doing my research, I came across a blog htt p://www.listy-loo.blogspot.com/ whose sole purpose is to make lists. In discussing the show The Vagina Monologues, the blog listed different names for the vagina. The kebab vagina jumped out at me. Say what? Kebab? It seems a number of her readers wondered about this too. While reading through the comments, I learned that in the United Kingdom, their gyros are called kebabs, and the writer of the comment surmised that the shape, warmth and dripping juices of the kebab... not taste or anything to do with being skewered, was where that name was coined. How's this sentence for kebab vagina... having sex with "Lola" feels like being wrapped in a warm, moist pita. One last thing: People should be happy, and what they do in the privacy of their own home (as long as both are agreeable) is their business. You know this sex thing is a mixed grill, a buffet and a smorgasbord for all to enjoy. Of course it goes without saying, I like mine with chocolate!!

Bon Appetit!

Quote of the Day: "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up" Mark Twain

#57 Dharma Schmarma

2009-08-11T21:29:00.024-04:00

Sometimes kids say the smartest things...

During the 3 hour car ride to camp visiting day, I usually sleep and/or read. However, this year, we had company. One of Erica's friends, 15 year old Sam was hitching a ride to visit with his old camp mates, and another mom (visiting her daughter) were with us. Because I had a captive audience, I decided to read the babble that I was working on (#56 Smart Vaginas don't Cut Through Dark Alleys). Sam, other mom, and my husband all had some interesting things to say, but it was 15 year old Sam that made me stop and do a double think.

As we approached the noon hour, we talked about stopping for lunch. Sam told us that he's a healthy eater. I asked him if he eats this way because his parents are healthy eaters or because this is what he chooses. He told us that when he eats healthy, he feels good and looks good. Then he said to me, it's kinda like your babble. He was referring to the part about using the analytical side of the brain and not the emotional side. He continued by explaining that in choosing what to eat, he uses the analytical side of his brain because if he let the emotional side make his choices, he'd probably make a lot of unhealthy ones.

All righty then. Since this conversation took place around noon on Friday, I decided I had all weekend to test his method, or in other words, to see if I could make non-emotionally based eating decisions. I'll tell you right now, I failed. At every meal I started out with the best intentions, but sooner or later, I made non-analytical ones when I saw something that I wanted. I mean, who can pass up institution-style vanilla pudding? Obviously, not me!!

Each morning, I started out with my usual breakfast - my homemade quinoa muffin, PBII peanut butter (only 53 calories per 2 tbs) and a cup of decaf with a little half and half. By lunch, I was dipping my fingers into the bowl of potato chips, drooling over the assortment of peanut butter and jellies, and with something akin to lust, eyeing the amazing looking and smelling bouquet of breads. Oy, so many why nots, what ifs, and what the hells were silently argued in my head. If this was a real battle, and not one of my weak willpower, I'd be Bobbie Sue black and blue.

Recently, I read in a blog (http://www.refusetoregain.com/) that the little voice in our head that says, I really want that chocolate cake, or I can't run another mile, is really the emotional side of the brain trying to take care of you, protect you, feed you. The blogger, a doctor who treats overweight people said, if you can push that voice away and tell yourself something that makes you think logically, non-emotionally, then you are a step closer to getting what you really want... that thin healthy body or another mile under your belt. Martha Beck, a well known life coach and author, says the fight between your cyber brain (analytic) and your beastie brain (emotion) will always be won by the more primitive beastie brain. She says you need to stop fighting your body's nature (wanting to stay nourished when it feels like your depriving it) and instead, develop a "normal relationship" with food. From her mouth to my brain.

Reading my Yoga ezine the other day, I learned about dharma. Dharma is "the path you follow towards the highest expression of your own nature - and towards the fulfillment of your responsibilities to yourself, to others, to your society, and to the planet". Although this word can actually have many meanings, the writer says that for most people, your personal dharma really asks, "What is the right thing for me to do now?". She also writes that conflicts we experience with our dharma can sometimes be the clash between our desires and competing responsibilities. Pertaining to this blog, I see this clash as me wanting something sweet and carby vs being responsible to my body by choosing something healthy. Needles to say, the emotional side of my brain says: Dharma schmarma.

Sunday morning arrives and visiting weekend is over. We check out of our hotel and head back to camp to bring Erica home. Once there, we load the car, collect Sam from the boy's camp, prod Erica and Sam along as they hug, kiss and cry their way to the parking lot, and finally off we drive. Around noon, we pass through this quaint little town and decide to stop for lunch. We find the town diner and as we walk in, I smell pancakes, or maybe it's waffles. Sam orders first and I hear him ask for an egg white omelet with cheese, mushrooms and wheat toast. I can't order waffles or pancakes now, so I decide to let my analytical brain do the ordering.... until the waitress asks, "do you want toast or a bagel with your scrambled egg whites?". The emotional side took over and the calculator that lives in my head added 250 more calories to my weekend's tally.

Sometimes adults do the stupidest things...

Quote of the Day: "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted"
Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC), The Lion and the Mouse

#56 Smart Vaginas Don't Cut Through Dark Alleys

2009-08-06T15:28:00.019-04:00

Sitting at an outdoor cafe this evening, I told some friends a story. This story took place in Washington DC, back in the 90's during a date with my boyfriend [now my husband]. The story went like this: My honey and I were on our way to theater when he recommended that we save time by cutting through an alley. I looked at him and said, "I have a vagina". He started laughing and asked me what that meant. I told him smart vaginas don't cut through dark alleys. He took my hand, and still laughing said that he and my vagina needed to pick up the pace if we were going to get to the show on time.

My friends were laughing at the sillyness of this, but the seriousness of the story was definitely understood. In the book, Burnt Toast by Terri Hatcher, she writes that for most of her life, until pretty recently, she was ruled by fear. I can't empathize with her, but I know for a fact that I haven't done, gone nor experienced many things because of fear.

In my experience, life provides examples of situations where one learns to fear where there was no fear before. I learned about dark alleys through such an experience. I used to go to the movies by myself before my night shift in the emergency room. It was during one of these night shifts though that the decision to end my solo movie jaunts was made. While suturing a trauma patient's wounds, she told me that she was attacked on her way home from her friend's apartment [something she had done many times before]. She was hit on the back of the head, pulled behind a dumpster in an alleyway, and threatened with a knife. With a gash to her head and blood dripping into her eyes, she said she fought like crazy because she knew that she was going to be raped and/or killed. Thankfully the assault was interrupted by a group of college kids who heard the scuffling and struggling noises and were nosy enough to do a look-see. Later, while writing up her chart, I saw on the police report that she was attacked one block from "my" movie theater. Reading that report made me realize that I could have possibly been the one being sutured. Since then, evening movies alone are not on my to do list.

This brings me to handstands. In Anusara yoga, inversions [handstands, shoulder stands, headstands] are part of almost every class. The first time I heard that we were going to do handstands, I didn't join in. I watched. I was scared. Actually, I was petrified. I couldn't think logically about this new asana [posture]. Forget the fear of falling, in my mind, I was so scared I thought I could potentially die. It was after seeing people in their 50s and 60s do this pose that I decided not to let fear make this decision for me. It took a few more classes to find the guts, but the day came when I decided I was ready. I listened to the rules of handstands; I put my hands flat on the mat, looked up between my arms, put my shoulders on my back, walked my legs as close to my body as I could, lifted my right leg and pushed off. Ouch!! I fell and hit my shoulder and elbow on the floor. Long story short, I was even more scared the second, third, and fourth times, but I persevered and finally got my legs above my head. What a feeling; what an accomplishment.

While writing this babble, I reviewed times in my life that I didn't let fear stop me as well as those times that I allowed fear to win. This is what I can share --the next time you stop yourself from doing something because of fear, remember my story. I'm not advocating bungee jumping, or cliff diving, or walking on dark streets alone, or finally calling "that" guy, but whatever it is that you are scared of doing, weigh the risks [dark alley or the long way], and decide with the analytical side of your brain and not the emotional side. Believe me, overcoming fear builds one's self confidence, helps you grow emotionally, and shows you that you are capable of more than you think. Next on my list, jumping off the highboard at the swim club. Yikes!

Quote of the Day: "The mode by which inevitable comes to pass is effort" Oliver Wendell Holmes

#55 Sad, Sad, Sad and Angry!

2009-07-21T15:33:00.018-04:00

My good friend Perry died today. It wasn't expected. I am so sad, sad, sad, and angry. Angry because I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. What's even more upsetting is that 3 days ago, I sent myself an email reminding me to call a few people I haven't spoken to in a couple of months. I got to a few, but not Perry. Why is it that we remember to call people when we are in the shower, or at the movies, or when it's 10:30 at night?

This is the second time something like this has happened to me. A couple of years ago, the husband of a coworker called to tell me that his wife, my friend, had died. I had just spoken to her in April and all was well, she was in remission. This phone call came at the end of May. I wanted to ask why he hadn't called me sooner, like when he knew she was dying? I was so sad, sad, sad, and angry. Angry because I didn't get to say goodbye. Looking back, I can see that during her last weeks, calling Bobbie was probably the farthest thing from their minds, but how I wish they had. I went to the funeral to say goodbye, but I have to admit, it made me feel no better.

In the past couple of years, I've really tried to stay in touch with people without letting too much time slip by. This needing to stay connected started about three years ago when weeks after the fact, I learned that a friend's father had died. It was around Thanksgiving -- when everyone was busy getting ready to travel or getting ready to cook that big meal for incoming family and out-of-towners. Life gets hectic and we focus on ourselves and our needs. Before we know it, weeks have gone by. And, I don't mean keeping in touch with just out of town friends, I mean the friends around the corner or even next door. Sometimes, weeks can go by without my speaking or even seeing my neighbors.

There are a number of friends of mine who I speak to or see maybe twice a year. It seems, in these relationships, I am responsible for calling or initiating an email. Years ago, I wondered if they still wanted to be my friend. Yet whenever I call, they are always happy to talk and it feels like no time has gone by. Sometimes I resent my job as caller and think, if they are my friend, they will call me. I've tried, on occasion, to wait out their calls, but soon, I begin to worry and end up calling them. It's not like we haven't talked about this, my non-caller friends and me, we have. There are no hard feelings; we understand each other. I accept my "job" and realize that we are mutually happy just to be connecting and sharing.

I guess that's what having great friends is all about. The give and take is mutual, but the contributions are different. Perry was a wonderful, kind and generous man, a master carpenter, and a sweet, tender-hearted friend. My old house, with new moldings that he matched up to the 200 year old ones, the 3 room master suite he built with his son during their summer break, the master bed that he copied from a magazine photo I gave him, the walls that no longer weep mold, the beautifully crafted shelves and furniture, and the venison he shared with us after his hunting weekends are all a testament to this wonderful man and his talents. However, his talented hands couldn't compare to the abundance of his heart. Perry was an angel, and if he treated all his clients and friends the way he treated me and my family, then they were as blessed as I.

So hear me out my friends, I will continue to call and check in because I don't want to ever have to say again --- I was sad, sad, sad, and angry because I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.

Quote of the Day: "Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst" Walter Weckler

#54 Bobbie's Buxom Blues

2009-07-16T13:04:00.023-04:00

In the Oprah Magazine, there is one page that is dedicated to a famous person's Aha! moment. I'm dedicating this page to mine.

The background
I am in high school. My boyfriend of one year is going off to college. As far as I know, we are still dating. When I hear he is back home visiting, I wait for him to call. He never does. I find out through his friends that we are no longer an item. I spend a lot of time alone, and a lot of alone time eating. I feel abandoned and go to food for comfort -- no talking to someone, no alcohol, no drugs, no shopping -- just lots of comfort eating . During this time, I am also developing physically [at an exponential rate] and find that the attention my body attracts makes me uncomfortable. I start getting heavy and notice this causes less attention to be directed my way. I have learned to cover my new curves with blubber.

The Middle Time
These are the school years. Throughout high school, college and graduate school, I gain and lose, gain and lose depending on my confidence. If I start losing weight and get the right kind attention, I continue to lose and feel good. If, on the other hand, I feel the attention I am receiving is solely based on my body and am uncomfortable with the feelings that this evokes, I start eating to cover my [what I see as my] sexiness. Up and down I go. It doesn't matter if I have a boyfriend or not, the weight goes on and off. And to make matters even more disturbing, I never share with anyone why I gain and lose because for some reason, I believe it is all my fault. I believe that I must be doing something that attracts the more lascivious and lewd than decent and chaste attention.

Nearing my Aha!
I am a graduate of The George Washington University's undergraduate and graduate schools. I am 39, married and the mother of two young children. I am the Administrative Director for the Emergency Department at The Albert Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia. Over the past 6 months, I have lost 25 pounds. I am walking up the stairs of an outside pavilion heading into our local supermarket. I hear a car honk. I turn to look thinking it's someone I know saying hello. In the car, there are guys whistling and hooting at me. I turn around and walk into the supermarket. All I can think about is shoving food [lots of it] into my mouth. Later that night, I share this with my husband.

My Aha!
I tell my husband how having those boys/guys/men honk at me brings back all those feelings that I thought were long gone. I tell him that perhaps I was dressed too provocatively [I was wearing black capris, a white t-shirt and sandals]. I give him more reasons for why I attract "this" kind of attention. I can go on and on with self blame, but he stops me. He says, [not in these exact words, but how I wish I could remember them] you are not some young over-budding pubescent teenager anymore. He says, you have a graduate degree and are the administrative director for a busy city emergency room. He says, you are a mother, a wife and a wonderful friend. He says, you have great siblings and parents. He says, you have bought and furnished [on a shoe-string budget] a 250 year old money pit while working full time in the ER. He says, you are an intelligent, fun and loving wife and a fantastic mother. I think I see sparks in front of my eyes. So this is what an epiphany is like I think - this eye opener of great magnitude. I realize that everything he has just said about me, I knew, but I had never stopped and given me the credit for achieving, having, doing and becoming all those things. I can't tell you how it felt, but I can give you the visual.... it is like the weight of an elephant being slowly lifted off one's back. This weight, a physical and emotional one, is suddenly gone ----- just like that.

It's been close to 8 years since that discussion and not once have I felt the need to eat to hide me. Now at 47, the hoots, horn honking and whistlers come fewer and more far between, but on the rare occasion when it does happen, I just smile, take a deep breath, and feel really good.

Quote of the Day: "Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life" Sophia Loren