#75 Never get TOO Anything

A few days ago, a number of events happened that made me sad and angry. While I was answering emails, I decided to share with a friend how I was feeling. I told her how by 9:30 a.m, my day, which had started out fine at 7:30, had quickly begun to go downhill. And, on top of being sad and angry, my body was asking for its "medicine" to try to make me feel better... which only made me more angry. Why? Because I believe I've changed and matured, but when push comes to shove, I still run back to my old way of dealing with my feelings; I push them down with food.

Well, her email response told me to HALT. Huh? Then I read on...."never get two of anything". Good advice for certain situations in the life of a foodie, but I didn't understand the context as it related to my email. However, when I re-read that sentence, what it actually said was, "never get too anything"!! Never get too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely or too Tired -- HALT.

Of course, this saying is just one of the myriad of sayings that dieters and maintainers learn. There are, not surprisingly, an infinite number of helpful "hints". Some are trite, but more often than not, most are beneficial. For example, "eat to live, not live to eat". This one is actually from Cicero, but truthfully, there are a plethora of expressions bestowed upon us from the unknown to the famous. One that I like a lot, and that works for me is - "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels". Being able to throw on a pair of jeans and walk out of the house feeling good in them is sooooo much better than any ice cream cone or chocolate bar. Honest! It's just that I have to keep reminding myself of this.

Another favorite one of mine is, "To fail to plan is to plan to fail". So true. It's a safe bet that if you go to the supermarket with a thought-out list, it won't be so easy for your shopping cart to drive off course. Also, knowing the menu ahead of time, and deciding on what to order before you get to the restaurant, is a good plan. For certain restaurants, it's sometimes smarter for me to decide beforehand so that it won't be necessary to open the menu and be tempted by all the goodies inside. This saying also works for vacations. I learned the hard way when one year I packed everyone's bathing suits and flip flops, but not mine, and I had to wear a pair of my husbands blue jeans, cinched at the waist and cuffed, until we found a store that sold clothing. Now, I start making a list a few days before packing so that I don't forget anything.

One last saying that I follow is, "If you always do what you always did you’ll always get what you always got". So true! If you want to be thinner, healthier, faster, stronger, smarter... then you need to change, add or delete. There is no other way. I once tried listening to a tape while I slept to help me learn Spanish. As you probably figured out, WASTE of TIME and MONEY!! Osmosis may work in the field of biology, but in other parts of life, nah.

I'll leave you with a few of my other favorites. I sometimes use these to pull me out of the food doldrums and help me climb back onto that damn wagon.

"It’s about progress, not perfection" ---

"A weight gain is not failure, it's feedback" ---

"What you eat in private, you wear in public" ---

Last, but one of my most favorite sayings... "If hunger ain't the problem, food ain't the answer"

Quote of the day: "Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome" Booker T. Washington

#74 Thanksgiving Dinner

This year, we are going to be a relatively [no pun intended] small group for Thanksgiving. Besides my candy corn fix at Halloween, my next favorite food fix is stuffing and cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving.
This year, I am having my folks, my sister, her husband, my niece and nephew, an aunt and an uncle and my cousin [Annie, the famous author of OBSOLETE]. That makes for 13 of us, which is a nice number, and one that my round dining room table can hold comfortably.

In this babble, I'm going to share my Thanksgiving menu. After my last posting, Passionless in the Kitchen, I received a number of emails, phone calls, and comments about my cooking. Thank goodness, I continue to be my worst critic. So then, below you will find what I plan to serve [with my mom's help] for our holiday meal.

Pumpkin Soup [but of course!!!]
this recipe feeds 20

2 large onions halved
1/2 cup margarine
1 tsp curry powder [spicy and more if you prefer]
4 cups canned pumpkin [not pumpkin pie filling]
3 tsp salt [start with 1 tsp and work your way up as needed for taste]
4 cups of 2% milk (can use cream, half and half ) [My lactose-intolerant friend recommends soy milk. Since I've never used soy milk, I can't guarantee the outcome)
5 cups chicken broth

Saute onion in butter or margarine until limp
Sprinkle with curry powder
Process pumpkin, onions and salt [don't make it too fine]
Pour into pot
Cook very slowly for 1 hour
Serve hot

Parmesan-Butternut Squash Gratin
this recipe feeds 6

1 butternut squash [2 1/2 lbs]
1/4 cup of butter or margarine
2 large garlic cloves, finely chopped
1/4 cup panko bread crumbs
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

Heat oven to 375F. Spray 13x9 inch glass baking dish with cooking spray. Peel, halve lengthwise and seed squash; cut into 1/2 inch thick slices. Arrange with slices overlapping slightly in baking dish.

In 2-quart saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Reduce heat to low. Add garlic; cook 2-3 minutes, stirring frequently until garlic is soft and butter is infused with garlic flavor. Do not let butter brown.

In small bowl, mix bread crumbs, cheese and 1 tablespoon of the butter-garlic mixture. Brush squash slices with remaining butter-garlic mixture. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and bread crumb mixture.

Bake uncovered 30 to 40 minutes or until squash is tender when pierced with fork. Increase oven temperature to 425F, bake 5-10 minutes longer or until lightly browned. Before serving, sprinkle parsley over top.

Garlic Sauteed String beans [I grew up with, and love, the string bean casserole with cream of mushroom soup and fried onions, but it's not as healthy as this, and truthfully, my kids prefer this to that].

Fresh string beans
Boil until al dente
Throw into wok with olive oil and minced garlic Wok for about 10 minutes stirring quickly [do this close to serving time]
Let sit for a few before serving

Sweet Potato Marshmallow Casserole [not so healthy, but yummy]
this recipe feeds 6

5 med. sweet potatoes (peeled, cooked and mashed)
1/3 c. milk
3 tbsp. brown sugar
2 tbsp. sugar
2 tbsp. melted butter
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1 c. miniature marshmallows

Combine all ingredients except marshmallows, mixing well. Spoon into a lightly greased 1 1/2 quart casserole.
Cover and bake at 375°F. for 30 minutes. Uncover, sprinkle with marshmallows and bake another 5 minutes.

Turkey with Stuffing

I am very traditional about my turkey and stuffing. I add mushrooms, celery, salt and pepper to Pepperidge Farm stuffing, and follow the directions on the bag. That's it. Once everything is mixed together, inside the bird it goes. Of course, all of it can't go into the bird, so after the turkey is cooked, the stuffing is removed and placed on top of the non-bird cooked stuffing and into the oven it goes to steal some of the juices and flavor from the stuffed stuffing. About gravy... I've never made it. My mom always does that part, but I know it involves taking the innards of the turkey [neck and other parts], cooking them on the stove top for awhile in water, cutting and mixing them with left over cooked turkey juices, adding some flour and maybe some water and heating and stirring so the gravy isn't lumpy. Not sure about the rest - she hasn't answered my email [she's probably playing mahjong] and I want to post this evening.

Cranberry sauce

From the can. My favorite part of the whole dinner. Just kidding, but I love this stuff and pretty much only eat it on this holiday.

Desserts
My wonderful sister, who is a very good and talented baker, will be bringing desserts this year. She did tell me that one of the desserts she's making are sugar cookies in the shape of a triangle, with the cookie batter dyed to orange and the tip dipped in vanilla frosting. Can anyone guess what these look like? I'll give you a hint.... it's my Halloween candy nemesis!

HAPPPY THANKSGIVING

Quote of the Day: As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." John F. Kennedy

#73 I'm Passionless... in the Kitchen

I think I'll write a book; The Passionless Cook.

On October 31st, we had our quasi annual Halloween party, and I decided to serve pumpkin soup as one of the hors d'oeuvres. It's my father-in-law's recipe, and I'll be honest, I've made this soup a number of times, and it never tastes as good as his.

Most people don't know this about me, but I have little confidence in the kitchen. I'll admit, I make some pretty yummy challah french toast, and I'm amazing on the grill with salmon and steak, but besides those two endeavors, I'm a hit-or-miss kind of cook. Anyway, during the party, I did receive a number of compliments on the pumpkin soup, but the most special compliment came from a neighbor down the street. He emailed to say thanks, and mentioned that he enjoyed my pumpkin soup. I was very flattered since I consider him a very talented cook, and a compliment from him was, well, better than nice. A few days later we bumped into each other at a neighborhood store. We chatted, and I mentioned that I aspire to his prowess in the kitchen. He shrugged his shoulders and said something like, I'm not sure that I'm that great, I just really love to cook. I realized then [well, I probably verbalized an old realization]... that I really don't like to cook. If money were no object, I'd hire a personal chef before hiring someone to do the laundry and bathrooms... that's how much I don't enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate to cook, I just don't like to cook.

Perfect example -- I have another neighbor whose dishes and desserts are delish, and needless to say, she also loves to cook. My husband has told me on a number of occasions that their house is "one of his favorite restaurants". One evening, my neighbor served a wonderful chicken dish with a side of Moroccan rice. I ate with an almost spiritual devotion, enjoying the flavors and textures, until I was so stuffed I thought my pants were going to lacerate my belly roll. It's not hard to guess on which side of a meal my passions lie.

A day or two later when I called to thank her for dinner, I also asked for the chicken and rice recipes. I had decided that I would make this meal for an extended family dinner later that month. Let's just say that when I cut into my piece of chicken and started to chew, I knew that my lack of loving to cook was right there in my mouth. I almost gave myself masseter-itis [masseter - def: thick muscle in the cheek that assists in chewing; itis - def: suffix denoting inflammation] trying to break down that little piece of chicken so that I could swallow it. I had to chew... and chew... and chew...

And, as I sat there exercising my masseter muscles, it dawned on me that if you do something without having or feeling a passion for it, then that lack of passion can definitely be "tasted", if not by others, then definitely by you.

Quote of the Day: "Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. Yet, I go marching on." George Bernard Shaw

#72 The Rabbi Says....

While I was reading the Rabbi's monthly chat in the synagogue newsletter, I got inspired for this week's babble. I'm borrowing the Rabbi's pre-story used for his chat as my pre-story to my babble.

A rabbi once asked the members of his congregation, "What is the holiest day of the Jewish calendar?" "That's easy", one woman responded. "The holiest day is the Sabbath". "No," said another. "The holiest day is Yom Kippur when God grants us atonement for our sins." Other days were discussed and debated, but the rabbi finally put a stop to this exercise by sharing what he thought the holiest day should be. He chose the 11th of Tishrei as the holiest day on the Jewish calendar. "What holy day falls on the 11th of Tishrei?" the congregants all asked. "The 11th of Tishrei is the day after Yom Kippur. And this is the holiest day of the year because it is the day that we begin to see if we really intended to keep any of the promises we made."

For those of you who aren't Jewish and/or who don't know about Yom Kippur, it is a very holy day for the Jewish people. It comes 10 days after the Jewish New Year, and it is on this day that the Jews ask God for forgiveness for any and all sins committed. The 25-hour period that is spent worshipping, fasting, and reflecting on the past year is intended to encourage an inner change, a "return to living life as God expects of us". The disciplines of the day [fasting and worshipping] are intended to encourage us to restrain ourselves from our "drives," such as hunger, sex or anger - so that through the Rabbi's sermon and reading scripture, we can be guided toward a more meaningful way of life.

What caught my attention and inspired this babble is the idea of intention. Did I follow through on my promise?

What do I promise myself and fail at consistently? To eat healthy. How many times have I promised myself that "today's the day I'm going to start my diet", or in the past 10 years, to eat healthier, and cut out processed foods? I have said this sentence [or something like it] so many times in my life, and so many times, I have let myself down. When I started working on this babble, I thought about gluttony compared to other sins - like disrespect to one's elders, arrogance, envy, wantonness, greed, disregard for other's property, and so on. I don't mean to belittle the day of Yom Kippur by raising gluttony to the most sinful. I am just sharing how the Rabbi's pre story about "following through" made me think of my past [and sometimes present] failures with dieting.

During the service on the evening before Yom Kippur, we say something like this.... Look at us G-d, see what miserable sinners we are. We make promises to live better each year and yet we always seem to fall far short of keeping those promises. We ask you G-d to pardon us for our shortcomings.

Well, when it comes to dieting and eating healthy, we don't need to ask G-d for forgiveness. We don't need to ask for forgiveness from anyone but ourselves. We need to accept that we are weak in the arms of a canoli, and move on. We need to accept that the aroma of cookies baking in the oven make our hearts go pitter patter, and move on. It's all about our INTENTION. If our intentions are good and true, then we can start again to honor our bodies by feeding them in a healthy way.

So this is what I've learned, and this is how I try to treat myself. I don't harp on my weakness for sweets. I make mistakes. I eat unhealthy foods. Instead of insulting my inability to stay in control, I am instead, kind and understanding. This is how I would treat another person who has "slipped". The 11th of Tishrei can be every day in the life of a "dieter". Yom Kippur is a day to reflect on the values and responsibilities to yourself, as well as to the world. As my rabbi says in his chat, you aren't a hypocrite if you truly believe and intend to change. He says, "...that we need to realize the divine potential that we each possess, and to take the steps needed to make our good intentions come to fruition."

Quote of the Day: "Your life is not meant to get easier, it is meant to take on new and greater responsibilities. This is the pathway to self-fulfillment and self-worth." Dr. John Demartini - healer, trainer, writer

#71 Eating Like a Bear, Literally

World's Fattest Man Eats 20,000 Calories a Day [printed in Martha Edwards posts Oct 21st 2009 9:00AM]

Worlds fastest swimmer eats 12,000 calories a day while training.

Average sized bear eats 20,000 calories
a day.

Sumo wrestlers eat between 18,000 and 20,000 calories/daily

When I saw that headline, Man Eats 20,000 calories, well, I just couldn't resist clicking on the link to see what 20,000 calories a day looks like, or perhaps what I really wanted to see was what a person who eats 20,000 calories a day looks like. Put it down to morbid curiosity.

Mr. Paul Mason has the dubious distinction of being the heaviest man on earth, weighing in at 976 pounds. It seems that Mr. M., aged 48, had to eat 2,000 (oops, I forgot a zero), I mean 20,000 calories daily to gain back the weight (250 lbs) he had lost while in the hospital recuperating from "a life-saving operation". For those of you who don't understand calories or count calories, that number, 20,000, is about 10 times more then the amount a 48-ish year old active man should be eating to maintain his weight. I need to share -- I'm actually a little jealous; not of stuffing my pie hole with 20,000 calories/daily, but a 2,000 calorie day does sound like a nice change from my 1,300 calorie day.

Of course, the honor of being Mr Biggest doesn't come without its problems. Mr. M rarely leaves his bed, and has 7 around the clock care-givers taking care of his daily needs. Let's stop here for a sec. Mr. Biggest and I are the same age [give or take a year], and having 7 people take care of my daily [and probably pretty intimate] needs because I was too fat to do it myself, would be humiliating and horrifying. (NOTE: I know there are people living this way due to debilitating diseases that necessitate the use of round the clock caregivers. I believe Mr. M is in a different category.) In the on-line article, the author, pretty much said that she really couldn't feel sorry for Mr. M since his goal was to become this way.

Mr. Mason can't travel in a car or on an airplane, and when he had to be rushed to the hospital for the above life-saving surgery, the British Air Force had to airlift him there. As to his clothing needs, I'm guessing that they're custom made. Truthfully, though, why bother getting dressed at all, as in underclothing, shirt and pants? If my "job" was eating 20,000 calories a day, and not moving from one spot, I think a mu mu would do just fine; it would definitely make it easier for my 7 caregivers. Actually, before husband and kids, there were probably a couple of days a year where I would plant my tush on the sofa, watch movies, catch up on missed TV shows, nap, read, eat all my meals in front of the TV, and never get out of my PJs. I looked at these days as a bonus day, not a lifestyle.

I'm not trying to sound nasty here, nor insensitive to the plight of the obese, and unlike Ms. Edwards the author of the article, I do feel a little sad and sorry for Mr. M. However, as we know, there are thousands of people living with body weights of 300 pounds and up. I TRULY BELIEVE that the last thing any of them would want is to add a few more pounds -- let alone another 200 or 300.

Oh, and just in case you're interested, it costs the British government $164,000 U.S. dollars a year to keep Mr. Mason alive. As of 2009, the cost of his care reached the $1 million mark

Quote of the Day: "I realized that I'm more important than food. I love a big slice of pizza, but I love myself more." Valerie Bertinelli

#70 When Your Body Knocks, Do You Answer?

When it comes to your health, the worst thing a person can have is a high tolerance for pain, a non-pushy temperament, an "I don't want to rock the boat" personality, and a life that is so busy and hectic, that there is no time to "take off". Since this is breast cancer awareness month, I thought I would write a babble that stresses how important it is for us to know our bodies intimately, and not to be put off when a doctor doesn't have all the answers. This babble isn't meant to scare anyone, but rather to remind us all not to ignore that little voice that tells us that something "just ain't right". Honor your body. And for my male readers, share this with the women in your life so that they know you care about their bodies IN EVERY WAY.

I was waiting for my daughter and leafing through an old People Magazine, when I came across an article that was titled, "Fighting to Stay Alive". It is the story about a member of the rap group TLC, Tionne Watkin, and her life before and just after the discovery of a brain tumor. The debilitating headaches that she experienced for nearly 6 years, ones that would have sent the most stoic person to the doctor, were, she thought, due to stress, her disease and the demands of her career. Tionne has sickle-cell anemia, and because of this disease, her pain tolerance is extremely high. Only when she started experiencing blurry vision did she go see a doctor, and it was after her MRI, that a brain tumor the size of a grapefruit was discovered.

Wow, I thought, as I replayed in my head a conversation I had earlier in the day. That morning, my friend "Cleopatra" called to cancel an upcoming date . She didn't sound very good, so I asked if she was ill. Her response was not what I expected. She told me that she had just returned home from the hospital, where her left ovary and fallopian tube were removed. Cleo has spent the last 5 years explaining to any doctor who would listen, that something just wasn't right with her left side.... especially during ovulation. She visited many different specialists, but to no avail. She was told that her pain could possibly be due to some adhesions that she may have developed from her 2 C-sections, but nobody was ever sure. During the past five years, the pain has increased and decreased, but has never gone away. This last time though, was so painful, that she had to walk doubled over, and after 2 days of intense pain, she took herself to the emergency room. Long story short, she had a raging infection that, she was told, had been brewing for a very long time. On numerous occasions she remembers asking her doctor, "Is this pain normal?", and on her last visit, the doctor told her that she had probably pulled a muscle. My very smart friend sat there nodding her head trying to think when, in the last five years, she may have pulled "this muscle". I know you must be wondering why nobody found this problem earlier. It seems, there are 2 reasons. First, the infection was what the doctors [suspected was] encapsulated or walled off; it never spread. Second, poor Cleo has had at least 2-3 bouts of sinusitis a year for the past couple of years, plus she had bronchitis, pneumonia and meningitis during this 5 year period. With each infection and illness, she was given antibiotics. And, if you've ever had a sinus infection [which I have], you are sometimes put on antibiotics for a month, or more, to kill whatever disgusting stuff is living in your sinus'. Ironically, because Cleo had been healthy for the past 5-6 months and not on any antibiotics, the infection was able to intensify enough so that when the ultrasound was taken [for the 3rd time], something finally showed up.

I have worked in the healthcare field as both a clinician and as an administrator, and yet, when I am a patient, I wait my turn patiently, spend my rushed 10 minutes with the doctor, and then sit there nodding my head in response to what the doctor is saying, when what I really should be doing, is asking more questions and/or giving more symptoms. In today's healthcare atmosphere, we need to be our own advocates. We no longer have a doctor that follows us from childhood to adulthood, and knows all our family members and their medical histories. Both Cleo and Tionne lived with "their problem" because they were able to... up to a point. Thank goodness, the outcome for both, was a good one.

Quote of the Day: "Once you choose hope, anything's possible" Christopher Reeve

#69 Body Dysmorphia

Joan Rivers on Aging: "Once I thought some guy pinched my nipple and it turns out he accidentally stepped on it."

Bette Midler on Aging: "After thirty, a body has a mind of its own."

Lucille Ball on Aging: "As a woman 'matures' it's best to use a make-up table with everything close at hand - and don't rush; otherwise you'll look like a patchwork quilt."

Bobbie on Aging: If one must adjust to growing older, and age is an issue of mind over matter, then how I mind my matter needs some adjusting.

A couple of years ago, I went to the salon for the usual - a trim, highlights, and some low lights. After sitting there for 2 hours and shelling out a ridiculous sum of money, I came home and thought, not for the first time, that I didn't really like my new haircut. However, this is pretty typical for me since it usually takes about two or three days before I figure out how to style my new cut, and for the products they used to be washed out. This time, though, was different. Nothing I did worked. That's when I decided that this "do" wouldn't do. I told a friend how I was feeling. She said something like -- I should go back because my hair happiness is an advertisement for my salon and stylist. Four days post haircut, I returned to the salon and told "Spartacus" how I was feeling. He was very nice and told me to sit in his chair and he would "fix" it.

As the minutes ticked by, I sat there staring at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out what it was I didn't like. I lifted my hair off my neck, I made make-believe bangs, and so on. It was when I pulled part of my hair back into an Alice in Wonderland style [that's what my mom always called it when we were little] that the light bulb went off. I pulled tighter. OMG, it wasn't my hair I didn't like, it was my face!! Something, it seemed, had happened since my last visit!!! My eye lids looked heavy, my cheeks were, well, not where they were supposed to be, and I saw lines around my mouth that I didn't remember seeing last time. Now don't start with, "oh Bobbie, you're so hard on yourself" thoughts; I wasn't seeing an "old lady" sitting in the chair, but I wasn't seeing the "young" lady that I picture in my head.

Fifteen minutes later when Spartacus walked over to discuss what we should do, I told him that my hair was fine and that it was my face I needed to deal with. Of course, he told me I was foolish and silly [which I'm not sure was true, but especially liked hearing with his accent]. Although I do think I have a slight problem with body dysmorphia, I am able to step back and perform an honest critique of my body parts. While Spartacus droned on, I sat in his chair wondering if 42 was too young for a face/cheek/eye lift, and would my husband be willing to shell out $10,000 for a "birthday gift". I walked out of the salon wondering what other 42 year old women do when they feel this way....

I changed my hair dresser....

photo - me at 31
photo - me at 40
2 photos - me at 47, the no make-up, no hair done Bobbie, and the public Bobbie

Quote of the Day: "Start slowly because direction is so much more important than speed" author unknown