Sunday, November 16, 2008

#21 Picture Perfect

I always dated or wished to date tall, dark, beefy men who had that edgy, bad boy look. Of course I wanted them to be a professional [at something], but beyond that I didn't give too much thought to their personality traits. Actually, that's not totally true. I should share that in the 5 years preceding my marriage there were 2 attributes in men I wasn't interested in. The first was men who were doctors. Since I worked with them every day in the Emergency Room, taught them surgical wound management and played on a softball team with them, I just didn't think I could deal with any more MD ego after hours. The other kind of man I didn't want to date was a Jewish one. Let me share this with you, I'm Jewish. Despite dating my fair share of Jewish boys, I tended to lean towards 'bad' boys and none of the Jewish boys I met were bad boys. Anyway, people reading this babble who know me and my husband are smiling. Why? Because my honey is about 5'7", as blue eyed as they get, has blonde hair [now with more salt and pepper in it], is Jewish, a doctor and is the antithesis of bad boy. The only quality he has that was on my list is that he's a little beefy - far from fat of course [in case he reads this].

Now, I know you are all wondering why I'm writing about my husband. Well, I'll tell you. Just like I had a picture in my head of my perfect man, I have a picture in my head of a perfect ME. When I met my husband, I didn't even look at him as a potential date. He didn't fit the picture I had in my head of "my man". I actually walked away from him and his buddy leaving my friend's sister to keep them company. She, being a nice enough girl, gave my husband my name and where I worked [she didn't know my phone numbers]. He looked me up, called my office on Monday and we chatted. This story could go on and on, but I'll make it quick. I wasn't interested. However, he told me he plays tennis and I thought what the hell, I like to play tennis too. We played tennis and then went back to his place for some wine and cheese.I thought, nice guy, but nothing there for me. I couldn't see beyond his shortness and blondeness. The next day I came home from work and there was a message saying he's meeting some friends for a drink and did I want to join them. My girlfriend, who was over, told me to go. She said I might end up meeting one of his friends. I arrived at the bar and learned quickly I had made a mistake. It turned out that he was setting up 2 of his friends - so it was really just the 4 of us. While walking me to my car later that evening, he asked if he could take me out for my birthday [about a week away]. I thought why not? Nobody else had asked me yet. It was after that birthday date that I began to wonder if this was the kind of guy my mom had been talking about.... a best friend boyfriend. By the 4th date, I realized that this short, blonde, blue eyed, Jewish doctor was wooing me. I haven't looked back since.

So, this is what I was thinking. I had this picture in my head of the perfect man and ended up marrying him. I just didn't realize he had all the qualities [and more] that I was looking for, but the packaging wasn't exactly what I had had in mind. I came to the conclusion today that I needed to ease up on the perfect picture I had of me. Maybe this is what the perfect me is supposed to look like. I've worked [and I mean dieting, exercising, self actualizing] very hard to be where I am today. Why don't I just rip up that old picture of the perfect Bobbie and just take a new picture of me - the today me?

Starting today, I'm going to see me through more accepting eyes... those same eyes that finally saw my husband as the man he was and not the package he came in.

November 2008, me in 3 inch heals with my picture perfect husband...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Bobbie, this was such a good post! A real life illustration of what it means to accept yourself, instead of the 'picture perfect' image we all have.