Saturday, October 10, 2009

#69 Body Dysmorphia

Joan Rivers on Aging: "Once I thought some guy pinched my nipple and it turns out he accidentally stepped on it."

Bette Midler on Aging: "After thirty, a body has a mind of its own."

Lucille Ball on Aging: "As a woman 'matures' it's best to use a make-up table with everything close at hand - and don't rush; otherwise you'll look like a patchwork quilt."

Bobbie on Aging: If one must adjust to growing older, and age is an issue of mind over matter, then how I mind my matter needs some adjusting.

A couple of years ago, I went to the salon for the usual - a trim, highlights, and some low lights. After sitting there for 2 hours and shelling out a ridiculous sum of money, I came home and thought, not for the first time, that I didn't really like my new haircut. However, this is pretty typical for me since it usually takes about two or three days before I figure out how to style my new cut, and for the products they used to be washed out. This time, though, was different. Nothing I did worked. That's when I decided that this "do" wouldn't do. I told a friend how I was feeling. She said something like -- I should go back because my hair happiness is an advertisement for my salon and stylist. Four days post haircut, I returned to the salon and told "Spartacus" how I was feeling. He was very nice and told me to sit in his chair and he would "fix" it.

As the minutes ticked by, I sat there staring at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out what it was I didn't like. I lifted my hair off my neck, I made make-believe bangs, and so on. It was when I pulled part of my hair back into an Alice in Wonderland style [that's what my mom always called it when we were little] that the light bulb went off. I pulled tighter. OMG, it wasn't my hair I didn't like, it was my face!! Something, it seemed, had happened since my last visit!!! My eye lids looked heavy, my cheeks were, well, not where they were supposed to be, and I saw lines around my mouth that I didn't remember seeing last time. Now don't start with, "oh Bobbie, you're so hard on yourself" thoughts; I wasn't seeing an "old lady" sitting in the chair, but I wasn't seeing the "young" lady that I picture in my head.

Fifteen minutes later when Spartacus walked over to discuss what we should do, I told him that my hair was fine and that it was my face I needed to deal with. Of course, he told me I was foolish and silly [which I'm not sure was true, but especially liked hearing with his accent]. Although I do think I have a slight problem with body dysmorphia, I am able to step back and perform an honest critique of my body parts. While Spartacus droned on, I sat in his chair wondering if 42 was too young for a face/cheek/eye lift, and would my husband be willing to shell out $10,000 for a "birthday gift". I walked out of the salon wondering what other 42 year old women do when they feel this way....

I changed my hair dresser....

photo - me at 31
photo - me at 40
2 photos - me at 47, the no make-up, no hair done Bobbie, and the public Bobbie

Quote of the Day: "Start slowly because direction is so much more important than speed" author unknown

8 comments:

Jeve (aka John and Steve) said...

You do look great. I think we think we look worse than we actually do unless your Paris Hilton. That girl's just delusional.

Bobbie's Babbles said...

Here are some comments via email. My ego has been stroked:

1. I think you've grown prettier with age, and I'm proud of you for showing yourself with no make-up.

2. The no make up Bobbie is just as fabulous as the public Bobbie! You look good at any stage of the day!

Bobbie's Babbles said...

Another comment via email:

You, my dear Bobbie, are so funny.... because I think you look incredibly young... and you write with such sincerity. These babbles are awesome!

Anonymous said...

Your brother thinks your beautiful, but I understand.

Michael Rivers said...

Love the age quotes (especially Joan's). You look FAB!! There is nothing to worry about!!

Chris H said...

Well I think you look great even with on make up and hair not done! so there.

Anonymous said...

I thought you were beautiful the first time I met you last year and I am considerably younger than you are. Considering the fact that I incredibly picky and you caught my attention - I'd say you are doing pretty well.

Bobbie's Babbles said...

Bobbie says: I wish I knew who anonymous was?!?!?!? so that I could thank them for that very nice compliment.