#92 Mirror Mirror

I own many mirrors. These mirrors, of all shapes and sizes, are hung around my home in almost every room. Yet, my favorite one sits on the counter in my bathroom. It has its own light and magnifies to 15x. Needless to say, I also hate this mirror. However, I wouldn't be able to pluck my eyebrows, floss my teeth or check my nose pores without it. If my sister lived nearby, I could probably rely on her to tell me when there was something amiss [like something hanging from my nose, G-d forbid], but since she doesn't live near me, I need my mirror. Recently, and to my horror, my mirror showed me something new and terrible... Let me back up here.

As a kid, I remember watching my mom check her teeth in the rear view mirror. The first time I saw her do this I asked what she was doing. She told me that at a certain age one's gums begin to recede and food gets stuck between your teeth. I remember thinking that I was glad I wasn't old. As a kid, I remember a family friend kissed me hello and told me that my skin was very soft. I thought her skin was pretty soft too. A few years later I kissed this same friend hello and felt a sharp pin-like jab on my cheek. Later that night when I told my mom about that "pin", she said that as women age, their hormones change and sometimes they get facial hair. Yuck, I thought. As a kid, I sometimes slept over at my nana and pop pop's house. In the morning, my nana would have a cup of hot water with lemon and a bowl of prunes. I asked her why she didn't drink coffee or tea with her hot water. She told me that she had figured out that the combination of the hot water and prunes kept her regular. I don't think I need to explain that one, but at the time, I couldn't imagine that a person needed help making a poop.

Well, here I am at "that age", I guess. I find myself checking my teeth in any mirror available after eating. Sadly, eating pistachios in public [without an accompanying fluid] is no longer an option since what doesn't go down the food tube loves to hang around between my front teeth. However, since I brought up "something new and terrible" in the first paragraph, I might as well blurt it out now. Facial Hair. There, I said it. I'm the lady that now pokes people when I kiss them hello.

As is abundantly clear, my hormones must be a-changin. Here I am, at forty-seven, with my 15x mirror showing sporadic hair growth. I'm not talking beard and sideburns [jeesh!], but a few hairs [more than 2, less than 5] of the darker shade. What's a girl to do? Shave? Wax? Laser? Tweeze? Are you all reading this with horror? Or are you laughing? Perhaps some are commiserating??

Even though the average eye can't see these hairs, if I dare to kiss you hello, you may feel a pinch [I apologize now]. Over the course of the last 6 months, I've been [shhhh] plucking when I catch one in my 15x mirror. I also tried shaving, but that seemed a bit extreme. Since I was shaving an area that included my blond peach fuzz, wasn't I chancing stimulating unknown [over] growth. Recently, having had enough plucking and worried about future hair growth, I took myself to a local plastic surgeon's office for some laser hair removal. The aesthetician used a YAG laser to zap the areas where there was hair. Surprisingly, it wasn't too painful. Attached to the zapper was a very cold wand that she gently rubbed on the spot prior to and post zap. Afterwards, those areas were pretty red, but by the time she put on some moisturizing sunblock and I paid my bill, all the red was gone.

For those who care, I'll keep you posted as to the success of this procedure. Let me just say here and now, this aging thing sucks!! Oh, and can you please keep my hirsutism a secret? Thanks!

Quote of the day: "I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy, and driven." Barbra Streisand